Dude's Colorful Review For Massage Parlor Is a Modern Day Epic

Author image for Eric Lund
Eric Lund
Mar 5, 2021 4:00 PM EST

If they're going to be this memorable, maybe we all need to get strip mall massages. Life hasn't been kind to any of our backs, and laying prone under an active drill press isn't enough to get all the knots out. Maybe we all need someone to ground and pound us like we're being initiated into a gang. People leave intriguing reviews for brutal but effective things, like these reviews for this powerful diet soup.

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  • 01
    Rectangle - Healthy Paradise Spa OVERVIEW REVIEWS ABOUT N 1 review ***** 22 hours ago This past weekend my wife got me a massage for my birthday and I was excited due to the
    via TheLostRugrat
  • 02
    Font - fact I haven't had a massage since our honeymoon and have had back problems for awhile. As I drove to the address my wife sent me it first took me to a autobody shop. Figuring that wasn't the right place I back- tracked and found the massage palace next to a gun range/ martial arts studio. Surprisingly, I could not hear either once I was inside the building. Upon entering the building I was greeted by small very friendly older asian woman who was in middle of working with another client.
    via TheLostRugrat
  • 03
    Font - my room. I was slightly sketched out by all of the lights turned off and she was the only person working on a Friday afternoon but I kept my mind open as I wanted my wife to know I had a pleasant time. I was escorted to my relaxation room and disrobed as I believed was the etiquette for the situation and awaited my massage. The lady came in and I believe she asked if I had had a shiatsu massage before and because I couldn't quite
    via TheLostRugrat
  • 04
    Font - understand her, I simply shook my head in the affirmative as I laid there naked with only a sheet to protect me. That is when "it" got real. She sprung onto the table like spider monkey and onto my back and began hammering on my spine like UFC fighter. My back let out a pop that shook the room and she let out an "OHH" pleased by my apparent release of tension. She then spent the next 60 minutes performing moves I can only assume she gained during a lifetime of underground street fights. L
    via TheLostRugrat
  • 05
    Font - tears on the soft sheets my face was buried in. The sound proofing for the building was apparently to keep in the cries from clients rather than the sounds off gun fire out. Now I am a pretty large man. 6'5" 240lbs but I couldn't help but let out multiple cries of "relaxation" as she landed left cross to the back of my head. My masseuse/domnimatrix yelled at me "No pain No gain and continued driving her elbows into every pressure point of my body. Suddenly things took another turn as the
    via TheLostRugrat
  • 06
    Font - like stripper dancing for dollars and shaking what my mother gave me. At the end she asked me how I felt. With tears still in my eyes, I whispered softly "thank you" and left with my complimentary Chinese candy and rice crispy treat. Overall, it was pretty good for a massage. I was little disappointed that she didn't give me the $20 off for my birthday like they told my wife over the phone, but my back feels pretty good. It Like
    via TheLostRugrat
  • 07
    Font - b ponnie lang 2 reviews *★★★ 3 months ago This is the best massage place I have ever been tain Yukon. It's super clean and inviting. did a great job. She is super nice and considerate. If you want a massage, schedule an appointment with
    via TheLostRugrat

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