Woman Vents About How She Is Done With Expecting Guys To Make The First Move

Author image for Mayarey
Mayarey
Dec 30, 2021 3:00 PM EST

There are a lot of expectations for men and women when it comes to love. Men are meant to chase and women are supposed to sit and wait for their prince charming to rescue them or whatever. Sorry, I can't take this seriously because it just sounds so old-fashioned and boring. How can a woman ensure that the guy she likes knows that she likes him? Reverse psychology? Reverse reverse psychology? It just seems like a big waste of time to wait for a guy to make the move every time.

One woman took to Reddit to vent about how displeased she is with this system and how she doesn't believe it benefits either gender.

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  • 01
    Rectangle - Posted by u/starryeyes333 5 days ago E 25 e2 3 3 3 I'm so tired of seeing women on social media preaching about if a man's interested he'd let it be known. Venting edited for graMmar
    via u/starryeyes33

    Reddit user u/starryeyes33 wrote a bold post to explain how she is over the traditional ideas of dating. Her main idea is that she believes there should be no more chasing, waiting or preaching unrealistic expectations. It may seem at first that she is judging women, but she is really judging the societal standards that women are expected to follow.

  • 02
    Rectangle - Women on the internet are always preaching about 'if a man's interested he would chase after you and make the effort & if he's not it's because he's not interested.'
    via u/starryeyes333

    She opens her post by talking about how other women often post 'advice' on social media and tell people what signs to look for or to avoid. She finds these 'signs' to be inconsistent and unfair to both genders. Mostly because nobody can tell you how someone feels about you, the only person who knows that is the guy himself.

  • 03
    Rectangle - While I agree with this to an extent, I really hate how we build all men up to be supremely confident & that all men know what they want & go after what they want.
    via u/starryeyes333
  • 04
    Rectangle - I can count a lot of men I've met who liked a woman but lacked the confidence to tell her he was interested.
    via u/starryeyes333
  • 05
    Rectangle - If you're talking in terms of mature men being interested then yes this applies but unfortunately, & I'm not bashing anyone, a lot of guys aren't fully mature or confident enough or even have the skills to approach a woman he likes.
    via u/starryeyes333
  • 06
    Rectangle - Also, I hate this whole one size fits all idea that women have to do and act a certain way to attract a man. You can't be too easy, available, you have to make him work for it, etc.
    via u/starryeyes333
  • 07
    Product - I've seen countless women who didn't follow this rule & just acted like themselves & got the man. I think what men want is for a woman to just be herself & feel comfortable in his presence, be nice, open, etc. I don't think men are really asking for much.
    via u/starryeyes333
  • 08
    Rectangle - I'm not saying they don't have their own standards but I really hate this idea that women have to make men chase after them and work for their attention otherwise it means he will take you for granted.
    via u/starryeyes333
  • 09
    Rectangle - Honestly, if I have to play games, not be so available, have any sort of tactics that go outside being myself then I don't feel its worth it because I don't want to be with a man where I feel I need to have a strategy to pique his interest.
    via u/starryeyes333
  • 10
    Rectangle - And I have seen this work a number of times but here's the thing I feel like this only works on immature guys who enjoy the chase, not someone who's interested in a relationship.
    via u/starryeyes333
  • 11
    Rectangle - Also, we're not factoring in people who have issues, childhood trauma, social anxiety, narcissistic tendencies, abusive, manipulative, etc. This applies to men and women.
    via u/starryeyes333
  • 12
    Rectangle - Not everything is so black and white and peoples stories of how they ended up in a relationship are always different because men and women are different and complex & there's not a one size fits all for how men and women should be.
    via u/starryeyes333
  • 13
    Product - What may be the perfect woman for one guy may not be for another as for women too. But I'm just really tired of women on social media making women think that if a man isn't chasing after you he's not interested because maybe he is, but he's just too shy.
    via u/starryeyes333
  • 14

    Some other Reddit users had strong feelings about the post

    Rectangle - Unknown_Bcuz_I_can 5 days ago · edited 5 days ago 2 Frankly I have been told my entire life I should leave women alone. Its harassment to approach women just because you are attracted to her. It is well documented here on reddit. Frankly I have no business bothering women in public. If I was a such a catch I would be taken. I am not. I was on bumble for two years. Never got a right swipe. I'll go by what you women actually do, not by what you claim to do. *Edit The contradictory info
    via u/Unknown_Bcuz_I_can
  • 15
    Rectangle - magnateur 5 days ago · edited 5 days ago This. As a guy at the gym you cant really talk to women at all unless they talk to you first. I like trying to talk to people that i see at the gym every day, kinda a exposure therapy exercise for my anxiety too. But most times when i have talked to women (the exact same way i do with the men) they instantly assume im trying to take a shot at them and become very hostile. So if i wanted to make small talk with someone i was interested in at th
    via u/magnateur
  • 16
    Rectangle - InnerDemonSlayer 5 days ago I've read that approaching a woman if you aren't attractive is going to come off as creepy and can get you in trouble, which is why I rather keep distance. 10 Share
    via u/InnerDemonSlayer

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