Tumblr Thread: The Dachshund Family Curse

There is... something about dachshunds that is different than other dogs... Even though they're so little, they are just... so dang intimidating. We can't help it, when we walk past them on the streets, we always have to take a moment and move away - can't risk the wrath of a dachshund. 

But, unfortunately for this tumblr user, it's family must have wronged a dachshund at some point in their lives, because now they are cursed. The father has been bitten and left scarred, the girl is being followed by a dachshund in school. This curse is real, and it is terrifying. ...It's also kind of hilarious though. 

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky Mariel Ruvinsky
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  • 01
    Rectangle - unpretty Follow inARL i was walking to class and turned a corner and stopped in my tracks because there was a dachshund and i did not know how to respond
    via unpretty

    The funny thing is that this looks like a miniature dachshund too, possibly an itty bitty baby dachshund. And yet, for this unfortunate person, this was not only shocking but probably kind of scary too. Cursed and haunted by an itty bitty baby puppy. It followed her all the way to class. 

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  • 02
    Rectangle - unpretty Follow it only just occurred to me that this post is way funnier if you know that my dad has had a scar on his face since before i was born, left there by a dachshund attack
    via unpretty

    Okay, yeah, this is definitely a curse. There's nothing you can do about it either. You must accept that, for the rest of your life, you will be haunted by a tiny loud puppy. Actually, the one thing that you can do is just turn around and adopt it. We think that would be a pretty dope and wholesome solution to your problem.

  • 03
    Font - badbatchofbathsalts Follow Just defeat the dachshund's face attack by standing up unpretty Follow he did, which is how he ended up with a dachshund hanging from his lower lip
    via unpretty
  • 04
    Font - confused-by-default do you call these DACHSHUND???? *confused german speaker noises* unpretty Follow yes! badger hound! the breed originated to flush burrowing animals out of their homes for hunting purposes-they're sausage-shaped to fit into holes and absolutely merciless to hold their own against badgers
    via unpretty
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  • 05
    Cat - badbatchofbathsalts Follow Then this would be me, with a dachshund on my lip that feels a lot more like egg on my face.
    via unpretty
  • 06
    Rectangle - berenswick Follow a family curse bitOmess Follow "I have scarred your father, and I have returned to finish the job."
    via unpretty
  • 07
    Font - postilionstruckbylightning Follow "Let us see if you fare better than your father, child."
    via unpretty
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  • 08
    Font - plexflexico Follow What you don't realize is that this dachshund is volunteering in the community to try to atone for this sins of his Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-etc. Grandpupper, who was ostracized by the community after what they refer to as "The Incident With That Nice Man and His Face"
    via unpretty
  • 09
    Sky - treeffs Follow Dangerous boys, I too have a scar on my face from dachshund attack...
    via unpretty
  • 10
    Font - rachyroooo Follow How the hell did a dachshund attack his face? They're like half a foot tall! mlgspacememe Follow Dachshunds can jump crazy high, especially for having such tiny legs 200,459 notes
    via unpretty

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hilarious tumblr dachshund curse doggo lol ridiculous tumblr thread funny dachshunds funny tumblr
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