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Here's How To Make Vaxxed and Waxed Summer 2021 Your Best Yet

It's been one helluva year, one that we're praying we'll never experience again. Instead, let's make it one helluva summer, ladies! We're looking good, we're feeling good, and there's no time like the present to have a jolly good time. No more quarantine, no more toxic people, and no sunburns - only bomb tans. This summer is all about you, boo! So start acting like it with this cute little list I compiled especially for you below. 

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  • 1
    Forehead - Get Vaxxed and Waxed How can you be part of the club if you haven't completed the qualifications yet? You deserve top-notch spa treatment. Wax off the wooly coat that built up under your sweats over quarantine, and expose your shiny, new skin to the world. Brows on fleek, beautiful bare armpits, and silky-smooth legs - you're officially ready to rage!
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  • 2
    Smile - Slide back into old flames' DMs This one's super low-effort. All it takes is your phone and guys from your past. Who cares if they were toxic? If there's one thing this past year has taught us, it's that life is short, and there's no time to take toxic d*ck for granted. As long as you don't catch feelings for said d*ck. You can't sit with us if you catch feelings. Emotions? F*cking ew.
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  • 3
    Fedora - Book everything in advance Everyone's beyond desperate for human interaction, and it's only gonna get worse this summer. You need to beat the psycho crowd by booking everything in advance. Book all the fancy restaurants, reserve all the high- class rooftop bars and buy out all the music festivals. This summer is YOURS - if you book it in advance, that is.
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  • 4
    Tableware - Day drinks on day drinks There's something about day drinking that hits different. The combo of sun, sweat, and liquor always has me feeling myself. The fact that the worst is behind us (until the next apocalypse) is enough reason to celebrate and switch up your typical drinking routine. The earlier you start drinking, the more happy hour deals you get to take advantage of.
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  • 5
    Smile - Beach bum every weekend We can never take fresh air and open skies for granted again. Now is the time to count our blessings, and spend every waking hour under the big, bright sun. Whether you wanna ride out the waves or transform into a crisp beach potato on shore, the beach is where it's at. Just don't forget your sunscreen. Safety first.
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  • 6
    Sleeve - Enjoy earth-shattering erotica You could read literature that stimulates and challenges your brain, but you've been overthinking all year, and you deserve a break. Instead, consider stimulating body organs other than the brain with some high-quality erotica novels from your local library. Nothing like living vicariously through sexy fictional characters.
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  • 7
    Smile - Rev it up on road trips Have extra time over the weekend? Upgrade your beach trip to a full- blown road trip. The open road is open to all, and right now it's beckoning you. Quit overplanning. Just shut up and drive. When's the last time you sprinkled a bit of spontaneity into your life? Quit being predictable and hop in, ya dumb b*tch.
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  • 8
    Lip - Consume all the ice cream Staying hydrated is obvious. What you need to focus on this summer is staying happy, and ice cream helps you stay cooler and happier. Science says so, therefore it must be true. According to Elle Woods, "happy people don't shoot their husbands. They just don't." So eat all the ice cream you possibly can.
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  • About the Author

    abbyadler
    Abby is a wandering soul who is incapable of staying in one place for too long. Her passions include travel, dance, karaoke, meditation, and cheesy fries. When she's not clacking away at her laptop and talking shit on the internet, you can find her tearing up the dance floor on a night out on the town.
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About the Author

abbyadler
Abby is a wandering soul who is incapable of staying in one place for too long. Her passions include travel, dance, karaoke, meditation, and cheesy fries. When she's not clacking away at her laptop and talking shit on the internet, you can find her tearing up the dance floor on a night out on the town.