25+ of the Freshest and Funniest Tweets of the Week (December 6, 2025)

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  • 01
    Bilbo Baggins @Jbanklestankle1 • 23h . Parody account Peak satisfaction is smashing a Von Duprin 98/99 series grooved case rim exit device after a long day of work
  • 02
    • Jo @slewpjohnb · Dec 3 We're slooping John b later if you want to pass by
  • 03
    tannertan36 @tannertan36 · 20h • • • EATERY AM Top Artists Top Songs 1 XL White Chicken Chilli 1 XL White Chicken Chilli 2 Pepper Steak 3 Curry Thai 2 Pepper Steak 3 Curry Thai 4 Spicy Crab 5 Lobster Bisque 4 Spicy Crab 5 Lobster Bisque
  • 04
    oatmeal influe... @acec... . Dec 3 ... Zara makes clothing for occasions that don't exist
  • 05
    Blake ™ @NeilNevins 23h • Getting ads on Mad Men HBO Max because I have the cheap version. That's okay. I'm pretending Don and his friends made all the ads. • • •
  • 06
    alina & @7sw4ns Dec 3 ... • My Listening Age 47 Since I was into music from the Early 90s Okay so there's a 56 year old woman here
  • 07
    big papa @Iowrtown · Dec 3 Spotify wrapped this year • ... Top Artists Top Songs 1 LOL 1 2 21 3 M#GOALS 4||Breaking 5 NEWS Minutes Listened XOXO 3 #MeRightNow 4 #SQUAD 5 FOMO Top Genre WACK
  • 08
    Respectfu... @Respect... Dec 2 • ... YOU CAN KILL THE MAN... BUT IDEAS ARE FOREVER
  • 09
    no con... ines helene @noco... Dec 3 @inihelene. 7 h ... Drake makes music for people who follow "Billionaire Mindset" accounts on here 20 53 551 ↑ 12 m You tweeted this at 5 in the morning. He certainly has a hold over you. 27 ines helene @inihelene 10 m I'm in the U.K. 27 22 Svar till @inihelene 5AM is 5AM. Don't embarrass yourself any further. He still lives rent free in your mind.
  • 10
    Rebel @rebelhzaura Dec 2 • ... "aww you remembered" of course I did, I am a manipulator
  • 11
    Images Al Co... • • @i... Dec 2 ... by Charles @grey990s Follow pulled pork got pork in it?? 12:38 PM 11/7/23 from Earth 2.5K Views 1 Repost 210 Likes 27 Ken @gr4iled 11/7/23 ☐ Nawl u good they alr pulled the pork out By Curles 2 176 291 Ill 2K !@grey990s. 11/7/23 ight bet thats what I was thinking <] 600
  • 12
    AJ @aj_mc__. Dec 3 the lorde full body portrait in my spotify wrapped Your top songs 1 What Was That Lorde 2 Man Of The Year Lorde M Shapeshifter Lorde
  • 13
    Vivi @VSquared Two • Dec 1 In 4th grade, nobody from school showed up to my laser tag birthday party. The only person who came was my hot high school age babysitter. And she brought her boyfriend. I remember she had an alarm set on her phone to remind her to take her birth control. It would play "SexyBack"
  • 14
    cherry @lullabylarva · Dec 2 i don't freak unless froken to
  • 15
    Jason Pargin, author... @....Dec 2 ... I honestly think the most beautiful word invented in the modern era is "Hamburglar"
  • 16
    dj be... @killbyundrsc... Dec 2 • ... i really don't think there is a better landlord than mine omg???? sent me like $400 of my rent back lol Today 5:41 PM Good evening! Sent a little money back to you, a Christmas refund from my wife and I. It's been really pleasant not having to stress that someone is destroying that house, just a small thank you from us. If you need anything please reach out, I'll be by when it's dry out and get some more leaves! Merry Christmas!! + iMessage KO
  • 17
    Liam Dumpl... @leeeeeey... • Dec 2 ... ChatGPT isn't just a tool — it has the power to ruin lives. My career is in shambles because I happen to naturally write in the cadence of LLMs.
  • 18
    The Ginger Swindl... @....Dec 1 big first day back at work vibes today 2 This is your headline now This is the body text
  • 19
    Zach Scho... @zzzzaaaac... · Dec 1 • Yeah, I'm a fan of A24. A24-year-old movie called Zoolander. ...
  • 20
    mimi... @mimiofthv... Dec 1 • • • • Thank God I never drink negatively but always with a pure heart and good intentions Ezzy @ezzyskii Nov 30 • Drinking alcohol negatively affects the liver and leads to fatty liver called cirrhosis healthy liver cirrhosis
  • 21
    hydra @blephin Dec 1 • • • • ☐ Subway Sandwich shop $1-10 75 mi 3 years ago Love the fact that I create my own sandwich 200 views Helpful 1 ☑
  • 22
    tendollar @tendollardanny Dec 1 alone on cyber monday again this year. unbelievable
  • 23
    Keara Sullivan @superkeara · Dec 1 They should do a reverse hallmark christmas movie where a small town girl who appreciates the little things in life visits nyc and discovers the true meaning of urban hedonism
  • 24
    • Jetski-Oh: the St... @jets... · Dec 2 Noah preparing for the flood: some ambie... @purity... Dec 1 • geese should join animal collective
  • 25
    wanye @xwanyex Nov 30 "Password previously used." "Password previously used." "Password previously used." ... • Yeah, I know! These are ones I like!
  • 26
    • mothman @grantisdumb Nov 30 I swear to god the drag queen at the bar last night said her name was Julie Chen Moonves
  • 27
    rural jur... @ruraljurormo... Nov 29 Dining "chosen family style" tonight which is when I put my card down and then a bunch of gay people don't Venmo me back

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