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Old-Fashioned Family Refuses To Participate In Potluck Dinners, Demands Couple Cook For Them

  • 1
    Font - Font - A r/AmItheAsshole · Posted by u/Adadene 21 hours ago O 4 2 S4 E 12 AITA for telling my husbands family that all family dinners need to be potluck or we won't be there

    I live for AITA family drama. Let's dive right in. 

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  • 2
    Font - Font - When I married my husband I knew his family was big. I also knew his family was close and loved family dinners. What I did not know was how tricky they were to host. Even he didn't know because they still have a pretty sexist view that women are the primary hosts and cooks in family for dinner. And they rejected his offer to host as a single guy before. We hosted 10 times for his family. All 10 the two of us slaved over making sure there was enough food and enough to cater for ever

    I don't like this family already. They didn't invite a single dude, which means they wouldn't have invited me either. I feel excluded for being single. 

  • 3
    Font - Font - His parents don't like anything spicy or "exotic" and prefer a regular meat/potato/veg/gravy style meal. One sister doesn't like any kind of fish. Another sister doesn't like beef or lamb. Another only eats rice dishes. One brother wants everything salted and will show displeasure at something not salty enough for him.
  • 4
    Font - Font - It's so hard to cook for everyone but they never bring any food, dislike the idea of potluck dinners and are not afraid to express when they dislike someone's food. It's exhausting. My husband told them to cut the crap before, we tried it a few times, we tried to figure out a buffet style thing and everything was just so expensive and exhausting. So he
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  • 5
    Font - Font - suggested potluck. It was shot down hard. In the end he said we would not host unless it's potluck and we would skip family meals to be fair. Cue the outrage and them blaming me. He took the blame for it all but it didn't work, they truly believe the women of the household are the ones who make these decisions and so they confronted me and I told them they need to choose, potluck family dinners with us or we don't attend.
  • 6
    Font - Font - They're pissed which I did expect and was not shocked by but then they started saying it was not my decision to make and I'm coming between them and my husband and I wondered if it was wrong for me to say anything because at the end of the day they're not my family, they're his. ΑΙΤΑ?
  • 7
    Hair - mrsjavey · 17h NTA. How often do the other families host ? Is it like a once a month thing? Just curious, you obviously don't need to cook for anyone
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  • 8
    Font - Font - drifterskip - 21h When your husband tells them it's potluck or no luck, the position seems to be that the women of the household make these decisions. When they confront you and you back him up, they blame you and say it's not your decision to make. So whose decision is it then, family? NTA. They're just not going to be happy, so you and your husband should be happy instead not doing all of that work.
  • 9
    Font - Font - Avebury1 · 19h Partassipant [3] Invite them to dinner. Order in a bunch of pizzas. Op - As the woman of the house, it is my right to decide on the menu. This is my choice. Eat, don't eat, that is your choice. And then enjoy the pizza.
  • 10
    Font - Abelthiar · 20h Partassipant [1] NTA. If they're old fashioned enough to have those kinds of views, they're old fashioned enough to have read Emily Post once or twice and should know that you don't insult your host.
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  • 11
    Font - starsmoonsandwaves · 21h Partassipant [1] NTA. This doesn't even have anything to do with your behavior or actions either. This is just his family being AH and blaming the woman.
  • 12
    Font - Font - rlkgriffiths · 20h Partassipant [3]] FUCK THAT NOISE. Your house, your money, your time, your rules. Do not cave. They will all get over it eventually. Also, stop making it an option. "I am cooking turkey, mashed potatoes, and cheesy broccoli". Who is bringing apps? Fish? Beef or pork dish? Dessert? Drinks?" Either they all volunteer or they all eat turkey mashed potatoes and cheesy broccoli and drink water.
- Points

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Abby is a wandering soul who is incapable of staying in one place for too long. Her passions include travel, dance, karaoke, meditation, and cheesy fries. When she's not clacking away at her laptop and talking shit on the internet, you can find her tearing up the dance floor on a night out on the town.

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About the Author

Abby is a wandering soul who is incapable of staying in one place for too long. Her passions include travel, dance, karaoke, meditation, and cheesy fries. When she's not clacking away at her laptop and talking shit on the internet, you can find her tearing up the dance floor on a night out on the town.