I Can Has Cheezburger?

Tumblr Thread: Rooster Who Likes Blondes Only Tries To Seduce Golden Retriever

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    Font - anonymous asked i have a horrible misogynist rooster who only likes blonde hens so i always have to make sure i have 2-3 yellow hens around so he doesn't run anyone ragged. i didn't know this was a problem someone could have but i've had macklemore for eight slutty, slutty years and he's been overly obsessed with the blondness level of his lady friends for the entire time with no sign of slowing down so, like. props to him for sticking to his guns. penstab Follow SIR, PLEASE,

    We wish we knew the story of how you found out about this issue that Macklemore has, because that must have been one heck of a moment. Him going mad all the time, you not understanding, suddenly a blonde hen walks in, he calms down, she walks out, he loses it again, and finally, it happens enough times that the penny drops for you and you go- oh.

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    Font - penstab Follow the thrilling accompaniment: he thinks my golden retriever is the absolute pinnacle of beauty. his romantic white whale if you will. he has been trying to court her, pulling out all the stops and doing MANY fancy dances, since i got her five and a half years ago m4mothman YOU CANT JUST CASUALLY LEAVE THIS IN THE REPLIES AS IF THIS ISNT A CRUCIAL ELEMENT OF THIS HARROWING STORY SIR!!!!

    We have to respect him for not only sticking to his guns with the blondes but also for not giving up with a member of a different species. It must not be easy, constantly dealing with the rejection, but he continues trying, and we really do admire that. Also, we laugh, we cannot help but laugh, because imagining him doing this to a confused golden retriever is hysterical. 

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    Font - m4mothman Follow mostly she regards him with a certain genteel confusion- no matter how many grand overtures he makes, juno's never really figured out that he's not just a really weird plant? since the birds mostly stay in my garden wrecking all my vegetables. legitonfire Follow As a chicken owner with a lesbian ginnie hen who loves only our leghorn, I feel a great need in seeing a photo of this precious rooster.
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    Bird - m4mothman this is macklemore, in all his deviant old man glory #his tail is usually better than this lol he was coming off a molt in this pic #chooks 192,104 notes
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    Font - zadarqride #he also tried to flirt with the last yellow foster dog through the hardware cloth of his coop- a poor decision #as curs aren't known for their lack of prey drive. don't worry: no macklemores were harmed throughout the ill conceived flirtation #he means well. and he's been a good rooster. and i'm glad that the cashier made me take him when i was in the feed store buying chicken feed #but he is so. so fucking stupid. God even the tags are gold
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    Font - world-heritage-posts Follow world heritage post ultimatebottom69 This is the funniest shit I have read a rooster do. Like I am not even mad at the thing, I am genuinely impressed by the audacity, lack of self-preservation and absolute overflowing confidence of this guy.
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    Font - n1ghtcrwler Oh yeah, we have a rooster like that. But all our chickens are Black Australorps, so he mostly tries to seduce the turkeys, who are all white. We call him Mike. Because when I was at my dad's wedding and tried to introduce my (underage, I was 18) date to my (married) uncle Mike, forgetting they had crossed paths once before, he interrupted me to cal her by name, and when she was surprised, he said "I never forget a blonde."
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    Font - limp-wrist @thatsatanicbatqueen is this what it's like to have a chicken? thatsatanicbatqueen Follow well one of mine is an asshole, she flaps at my face when l try to pick her up and she pulled out a decent chunk of my hair last week limp-wrist Woahhh evil chicken What about Mabel? I thought you liked her lol thatsatanicbatqueen oh Mabel is great but she has no respect for personal space but I love mabel so much
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    Font - fuck-no-bullshit Once my friend's rooster drop kicked me because he saw me wearing wellingtons, so i took them off and my friend screamed at me to put them back on because her other rooster would attack me for wearing socks. Sock-hating lop has tried to court some rocks and a volleyball. In the same day. Slut.
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    Font - jupiterminingcorporation Frodo, on the other hand, likes brunettes. Three of his Absolute Favourite Ladies just served three days in the henitentiary, sentenced for the crime of extreme broodiness. When they got out this morning Frodo was THRILLED and proceeded to chase them hither and yon, deaf to their squawks of protest. All I really needed was some Benny Hill music and the scene would have been complete.

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