The Astrological Signs As Gross Vintage Foods

Author image for Ada Elder
Ada Elder
Sep 6, 2021 8:00 PM EDT

Thanks to the advent of apps such as Co--Star, the Pattern, and now the Chani app, astrology-believers don't have to log into a website or check the actual paper for personalized astrological updates. We've got our daily readings in the palm of our hands. And sometimes they are downright rude - the Pattern keeps telling me that I'll have to wait until much later in life to achieve relationship satisfaction. While it's fun to spend an hour every morning checking horoscope after horoscope, the convenience of it all makes us year for something different. Something...special. And the Biased Astrology Memes page was a place that offered just that. The now-inactive page is a treasure trove of hyper-specific memes that call out every sign in ways we never thought possible. This particular bunch roasts the astrological signs using some of our favorite cringeymaterial: disgusting vintage food and recipes. 

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  • 01
    Recipe - The Signs as Questionable Vintage Foods from @dailyvintagefoods @biased.astrology.memes welcome new man in your life! Frosty Slaw Man with that Hellmann's touch Pisces Frosty Slaw Man Telling your mom there's a new man in your life but it's actually a mayonnaise sculpture? Pisces energy Above all, it's pretty cute • Charcuterie, no matter how upsetting, is water sign culture HELLMANNS MAYONNAISE REAL this is no place for second best ...this is the place for Hellmann's ..al mayonnaise He
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    Food - The Signs as Questionable Vintage Foods from @dailyvintagefoods @biased.astrology.memes Aquarius CONTEMPORARY COOKING 60 HAM AND BANANAS HOLLANDAISE Ham and Bananas Hollandaise • Making something bad and then calling it "contemporary" is an Aquarius tradition • This is objectively the most awful one and I also love it. Taking pride in debauchery is the very essence of Aquarius. • Midcentury home cooks had no idea what to do with bananas but just kept using them because they're *quirky*
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    Recipe - The Signs as Questionable Vintage Foods from @dailyvintagefoods @biased.astrology.memes PRAWN STUFFED APPLES Capricorn SUPPER DISHES CARD 13 Prawn Stuffed Apples • Just because it looks grown up does NOT mean it's good. We really need to have a higher criteria here. Capricorns will try to make anything feel autumn-y, even when they have no business doing so. • Something about putting this much work into something so awful just screams "Capricorn" to me. FLOUR Photograph by courtesy of F
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    Food - The Signs as Questionable Vintage Foods from @dailyvintagefoods @biased.astrology.memes MEMORABLE SUMMER MEALS Sagittarius this "MemorableTM" Summer Salad • Describing a jello and shrimp salad as “memorable" gives me "all attention is good attention" vibes Sag vibes ngl • A vile creation from culinary hell? Yes. Super pretty? Also yes. It's called being multifaceted. Can't really decide on a theme but pulling off several at once so it's okay
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    Food - The Signs as Questionable Vintage Foods from @dailyvintagefoods @biased.astrology.memes Scorpio LIME CHEESE SALAD Dissolve 1 package Lime Jell-O in 1 cup hot water. Add 4 cup cold water, 2 tablespoons vinegar, and 1 teaspoon grated onion. Pour ½ cup mixture into 1-quart ring mold. Chill until firm. Chill remaining Jell-O until slightly thick- ened. Then fold in 1 cup cottage cheese, and I tablespoon mayonnaise; blend. Pour onto firm Jell-O. Chill until firm. Unmold. Garnish with salad gre
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    Recipe - The Signs as Questionable Vintage Foods from @dailyvintagefoods @biased.astrology.memes Libra Bridal Meat Doll The style, the grace, the sheer ingenuity. nothing says "flirty" like a head-to-toe deli meat look • Leo commands the spotlight, but if you saw this bitch at a party you would not forget her Does her best to make sure everyone is happy and fed even if her methods are questionable BRIDAL MEAT DOLL
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    Tableware - The Signs as Questionable Vintage Foods from @dailyvintagefoods @biased.astrology.memes Virgo Cauliflower Center Great Ways with Meatloaf 14 Ground Meat Card 20 Cauliflower Center Meatloaf Who they are inside is drastically different from the outside. You can decide if it's better or worse. • This one includes a real life vegetable in its natural form, which gives a Virgo-like middle finger to the era • Honestly this seems like a practical way to stretch ingredients, loving the no no
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    Food - The Signs as Questionable Vintage Foods from @dailyvintagefoods @biased.astrology.memes Budget Best Bets 8 CROWN ROAST OF FRANKFURTERS Leo Crown Roast of Frankfurters Royal af •I give them a hard time, but honestly I would smash out of plain curiosity • Very salty • Both Leos and this wiener monstrosity make for a very memorable drunk night in Weight Watchers Recipe Cards
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    Recipe - The Signs as Questionable Vintage Foods from @dailyvintagefoods @biased.astrology.memes IMA1 Make-Ahead Main Dishes ASPIC-GLAZED LAMB LOAF Cancer Aspic Glazed Lamb Loaf • I'm sorry but sometimes the homemaker tendencies simply go too far •I do appreciate that they tried to make this pretty • There would be leftovers, which is perfect for a 2am Cancerian yearning episode Weight Watchers Recipe Cards
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    Food - The Signs as Questionable Vintage Foods from @dailyvintagefoods @biased.astrology.memes Gemini 24-HOUR VEGETABLE SALAD 8A 24 Hour Vegetable INVITING VEGETABLE SALADS Salad •A surprise in every bite, wether you want it or not :) • It says it's a "vegetable" salad even though it's like 50% deli products. You truly never know what you're going to get • 24 hours to make it, 24 more hours to emotionally recover from it
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    Food - The Signs as Questionable Vintage Foods from @dailyvintagefoods @biased.astrology.memes Taurus 15 Cans of Reddi-wip vs 1 Shortcake SALUAE COUPON 20¢ 20olfany sire Reddlwip priduct. • Unfamiliar with the concept of moderation • Whoever made this has, like a Taurus, shamelessly isolated the best part of life and said "why bother with anything else?" Full respect. •I decided to start tolerating earth signs for a Taurus and I will start tolerating lactose for this recipe Strik 102756 Our Favo
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    Recipe - The Signs as Questionable Vintage Foods from @dailyvintagefoods @biased.astrology.memes Soup makes meat-za pizza easy as 1-2-3! Aries Condensed Tomato Soup and Ground Meat "Pizza" • Equal parts wtf and good idea, depends on what I'm drinking • This really speaks to my inner child • Straight up condensed soup seems needlessly aggressive but definitely effective • The very existence of both this dish and the Aries community pain me greatly but I still respect them Hen's a sew way te fix g
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aries gemini taurus fire signs virgo astrology memes earth signs pisces gross relatable vintage food funny memes astrology water signs cursed images air signs capricorn cancer gross food food libra Sagittarius aquarius funny scorpio leo
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