School Appalled With Troublemaker Student, Sends Unintentionally Hilarious Letter to His Dad

I think the best course of action for Dad here is to write a sincere letter back, asking the school what exactly a dildo is? Let's milk this ridiculous situation for all it's worth. Long live Wildo the Dildo, may he live a long and fruitful existence being a perpetual pain in the asses (and other places too) of academic institutions, near and far.