Funny Stories From When Kids Were Given the Sex Talk

When my parents gave me the talk I already knew that "sex" was a thing. I read a lot of books that were above my maturity level, but even then I couldn't quite put together what the act entailed. According to my cousin, it was when a man lies on top of a woman, completely motionless, during their honeymoon. My mom had awkwardly handed me a book with some illustrations that seemed to line up to my cousin's theory - but it was clear that the real thing involved something a little more freakish to my young mind.

My brain was hardly the only one perturbed or kind of disgusted by the newfound NC-17 knowledge. But my reaction was definitely less funny than that of the children in this thread from Twitter user @sannewman.

A friend of mine told me a story about how, when he was six years old and his mother first told him about sex, he was horrified and asked, "Did you and Daddy do that?" and she said, "Yes," and he said, "How many times?" and she said, "Ten."
— Sandra Newman (@sannewman) September 19, 2021

Newman shared this tale from a friend detailing his disturbed reaction (and his mom's hilarious response) to learning how babies are made - and, as usual, followers were eager to share their own amusing tales of the formative "talk." While some users shared the reactions of their children, others shared how very, very wrong they were when they thought they would either a) never want to have sex or b) have sex, like, three times. The thread is a pretty hilarious reminder of how innocent (and gullible) our young brains were at that age. For some of us, it's an unfortunate reminder of the fact that our parents were boning. And they probably boned a lot.

Posted by Ada Elder