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Catty Suburban Lady Explains How to Decorate Your House For Halloween

I just love Halloween decorations. They're such a great way to spruce up a neighborhood and terrify your kids into needing you around for just a little longer! Hi, I'm Shelley, and I'm here to show you how to decorate your house for Halloween better than anyone else you know. Last year, that bi--er, my lovely neighbor Debra had SUCH a great display, and do you know what? People were talking about it for months! I tired out my fingers and my spirit hiring someone to sew Halloween costumes for all their kids, but who gets the recognition? The one with the loud, obnoxious house, clearly. So this year, I'm gonna do it bigger, better, b*tchier. No more Mrs. Nice Shelley. And here's how you can, too! Let's get decorating!

Posted by armchaircomedian
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