Quick Quips From the Mad Minds of Twitter

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  • 01
    Product - Anthony @BrooklynBatman_ Batman when he sees a 12 year old jaywalking 10:19 AM · 2021-10-28 · Twitter for iPhone 333 Retweets 22 Quote Tweets 3,561 Likes
  • 02
    Organism - Diego Lopez @thisdiegolopez Impressing a girl who owns cats on our date by eating so fast I throw up 9:45 PM · 2021-10-29 · Twitter for iPhone 386 Retweets 7 Quote Tweets 5,361 Likes
  • 03
    Property - Four Seasons Total Landscaping O FOUR SEASONS @therealfstl1992 This year our costume was an obvious one. #halloween2021 FOUR SEASONS HOTEL PHILADELPHIA AT COMCAST CENTER 9:05 PM · 2021-10-31 · Twitter for iPhone 17.4K Retweets 2,411 Quote Tweets 135K Likes
  • 04
    Font - matt christman ... @cushbomb I could never be a vampire because I can't fall asleep laying on my back. Coffins are a no-go. 9:56 PM · 2021-10-30 · Twitter for iPhone 97 Retweets 9 Quote Tweets 3,390 Likes
  • 05
    Font - Tony Hawk O @tonyhawk At store, wandering aisles, employee approaches. him: “Can I help you?" | me: I'm looking for lightbulbs him: “They're in this aisle. Hey you look like Tony Hawk!" me: l've heard that him: “That's CRAZY" (get lightbulbs) him: “Wait, are you Tony Hawk?" me: yes him: “That's CRAZIER" 6:10 PM · 2021-10-29 from Vista, CA · Twitter for iPhone 1,739 Retweets 99 Quote Tweets 22.7K Likes
  • 06
    Human - connor Wood ... @fibulaa “No yeah I actually read an article about this" - person who saw a tiktok about something 99 2:00 PM · 2021-10-28 · Twitter for iPhone 4,075 Retweets 438 Quote Tweets 79.7K Likes
  • 07
    Organism - mister gorbachev give me back my acco... ... @SAMOYEDWAVE ever wonder why every culture in the world, despite not having full contact with each other, seems to consistently have myths of a little guy who goes around and causes problems 8:20 AM · 2021-10-30 · Twitter Web App 96 Retweets 20 Quote Tweets 1,657 Likes
  • 08
    Font - @Liv_Agar @Liv_Agar not everyone can boycott the underground human skeleton trade. i have anxiety, and owning human spines calms me down 2:20 AM · 2021-10-30 · Twitter Web App 1,207 Retweets 33 Quote Tweets 22.4K Likes
  • 09
    Font - ava wolf @wownicebuttdude babe what's wrong? you haven't even touched your shoep 6:29 PM · 2021-11-01 · Twitter for iPhone 135 Retweets 8 Quote Tweets 1,348 Likes
  • 10
    Vertebrate - Kiana Mai @kianamaiart still the funniest joke in a cartoon of all time Thinking quickly, Dave constructs a homemade megaphone, using only some DiN string, a squirrel, and a megaphone. 3:43 AM · 2021-10-30 · Twitter for iPhone 7,874 Retweets 284 Quote Tweets 60.8K Likes
  • 11
    World - andrew @andrewneville It's time to finish Clifford once and for all QY25K 1:52 AM · 2021-10-25 · Twitter for iPhone 13.5K Retweets 654 Quote Tweets 160K Likes
  • 12
    Font - charlie @chunkbardey drinking the water from my water bottle so as to lighten the load of my tote bag. still carrying the water, but more efficiently now, inside 1:36 PM · 2021-10-28 · Twitter for iPhone 582 Retweets 17 Quote Tweets 9,263 Likes
  • 13
    Font - some guy @Smartguyy Crazy how like 150 years ago you could just pack your bags, walk 5 hours and become a brand new person with a clean state basically 7:44 PM · 2021-10-30 · Twitter for iPhone 2,985 Retweets 351 Quote Tweets 28.1K Likes
  • 14
    Font - phil @PhilJamesson when a skeleton plays his ribs like a xylophone, the sounds you hear are skeletones 1:18 PM · 2021-10-31 · Twitter Web App 38 Retweets 472 Likes
  • 15
    Font - | pilot @pilotviruet honestly will never top the year i told everyone i was going to be amelia earhart for halloween and then didn't show up to the party 11:58 AM · 2021-10-31 · Twitter for iPhone 998 Retweets 54 Quote Tweets 11.4K Likes
  • 16
    Organism - BROKE @BabblingBrookeA actually Meta is the name of the company. Facebook is the monster 11:58 PM · 2021-10-28 · Twitter for iPhone 1,562 Retweets 27 Quote Tweets 11K Likes
  • 17
    Font - Fanta Bility #SayHerName @MeWeFree_ It had to be crazy when General Tso's tossed those chicken chunks in the wok for the first time. His troops prolly couldn't believe it... 6:26 PM · 2021-10-27 · Twitter Web App 6,123 Retweets 595 Quote Tweets 34K Likes
  • 18
    Organism - Amber Naslund @AmberCadabra Dude at restaurant in line for gender- neutral bathrooms: "This PC bathroom thing is bullshit" Me: "Yes, l'm sure it must be a huge and difficult departure from your gendered bathroom at home, thoughts and prayers" He didn't think I was funny 5:37 PM · 2021-10-27 · Twitter Web App 2,213 Retweets 127 Quote Tweets 34.1K Likes
  • 19
    Photograph - пух @cevansdumptruck chris evans steve rogers 2:43 PM · 2021-10-27 · Twitter for iPhone 2,181 Retweets 61 Quote Tweets 20.2K Likes
  • 20
    Font - Kai Ryssdal O @kairyssdal Have we tried turning Congress off and turning it on again? 4:39 PM · 2021-10-27 · TweetDeck 1,974 Retweets 184 Quote Tweets 22.7K Likes
  • 21
    Organism - Dan Regan @Social_Mime Halloween candy isn't bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl. 8:09 AM · 2021-10-28 · Twitter for Android 150 Retweets 8 Quote Tweets 577 Likes
  • 22
    Organism - actually it's good @yungchomsky women are always cold due to original sin 10:37 AM · 2021-10-28 · Twitter for iPhone 1,018 Retweets 26 Quote Tweets 11.8K Likes
  • 23
    Organism - .... corie @corietjohnson I SAID YES to multiple people when they asked me to do things! and now i'm overwhelmed 10:37 AM · 2021-10-28 from Los Angeles, CA · Twitter for iPhone 12.6K Retweets 634 Quote Tweets 76.8K Likes
  • 24
    Skin - paige, BOOner Wizard @BonerWizard this is what they took from you 3:34 AM · 2021-10-28 · Twitter for iPhone 1,329 Retweets 61 Quote Tweets 27.7K Likes
  • 25
    Organism - Scare Blackwood @clareblackwood just passed a strip club with “VAXXED N’ WAXED, NO PASS NO ASS" signs flashing out front, so needless to say that they are leading the way in keeping our city safe and I salute them 10:03 PM · 2021-10-28 · Twitter for iPhone 1,324 Retweets 53 Quote Tweets 12.6K Likes
  • 26
    Font - caitie delaney O @caitiedelaney How am I supposed to know this person in the movie is smoking weed if they don't do the weird inhale croaky voice thing???????? 8:20 PM · 2021-10-28 · Twitter for iPhone 28 Retweets 1 Quote Tweet 1,518 Likes
  • 27
    Font - female impersonator @HormonalJew i come back to this yearly Geneva Follow @cartoonfuntime eventually you too will get bored of public vulnerability and become interested solely in making your apartment nicer 17 RETWEETS FAVORITES 33 2:05 PM-5 Nov 2014 8:48 PM · 2021-10-28 · Twitter for iPhone 1,397 Retweets 132 Quote Tweets 12.8K Likes
  • 28
    Font - first-mate prance ... @bocxtop 7 billion ppl on the planet but im always convinced my soulmate is the only other person my age at the grocery store 12:57 PM · 2021-10-29 · Twitter for iPhone 287 Retweets 9 Quote Tweets 4,791 Likes
  • 29
    Organism - Patrick Cosmos @veryimportant summoning circle, hope this works kirkland-brand weed 3:25 PM · 2021-10-29 · Twitter Web App 163 Retweets 9 Quote Tweets 2,740 Likes

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