Confusing Men On Tinder By Sending Them Absurdist Quotes As Pickup Lines

Yesterday, November 20th, was National Absurdity Day! I knew I wanted to celebrate somehow, so I started researching absurdism thinking it would be all fun and games. Just a jolly bit of silly humor. I was, uh.....I was wrong. It's actually a philosophical offshoot of nihilism? And existentialism? Like, absurdism is just a bunch of weird depressing sh*t that authors and artists wrote to declare that nothing matters. At first, I was discouraged. But then I realized...this is the perfect way to freak out Tinder boys! Long, ominous quotes with zero context instead of flirting? Sign me up! So I went and found quotes from a bunch of famous absurdist writers and comedians and I sent them to myTinder matches to see what they'd say. Here's what happened!

Posted by armchaircomedian

1
Albert Camus

What indeed, Tinder Man? What is the purpose of anything, really? This guy played directly into the absurdism narrative and didn't even realize it. Or maybe he did and I'm the one missing the joke? Wow, I guess I have a lot to think about...

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2
Samuel Beckett

It's not the dumbest response, it's just the most uncomfortable. Now I'm gonna have to launder my eyes and my brain to cleanse myself of this gross man's advances. I suppose I brought this on myself, though, so I can't really complain.

Via Tinder
3
Thoman Mann

Honestly, this made me laugh. I can just imagine waking up to someone reciting some creepy religious prose at me...I'd ask them to take it ez too.

Via Tinder
4
Robin Williams

I'm frankly shook by this response. I just sent you the weirdest, longest message about the grosses vegetable, and your response is just like "okay, cool! Good to know!" Like, what? The smiley face is what really makes it for me. Maybe I should be telling him where I do located, because he's clearly more powerful than I bargained for.

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5
Franz Kafka

A boring but vaguely complimentary response. More or less fine. Or so I thought, until....

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6
Tinder Man

....His messages completely flew off the f*cking rails?? I have no idea where this came from or what the F*CK it means but it's truly one of the most unsettling series of texts I have ever received on Tinder Dot Com! (Don't worry I incredibly reported him.)

Via Tinder
7
Dora J. Arod

I can't blame him. I don't think a fluent English speaker would understand either. Nonetheless I personally thought this was by far the funniest quote I sent out, so I sent it to like five different people and tragically, this was the only response I got! I guess meatloaf isn't the beloved family dish I thought it was? Next time I'll say my love tastes like foi gras or something, I guess.
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