Insensitive Family Demands Fiance Return Family Heirloom Ring After Her Soon-To-Be Husband's Death

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abbyadler
Mar 26, 2022 2:30 PM EDT

Getting married is considered to be one of the big milestones in life. It's insanely exciting to know that you found your partner for life, the one that will be there for you through the good and the bad, through thick and thin, through the mundane and the marvelous. Spouses often get so connected that losing each other would be like losing a limb. In today's 'Am I the A$$hole? post, OP shared that she recently lost her fiance, and was naturally devastated about it. Before his death, he had given her an engagement ring that was a family heirloom from his grandma. At the funeral, OP's fiance's brother approached her about getting the engagement ring back for his own fiance, who had been eyeing it for ages. Since the grandma had blessed OP with the ring and it is now her last memory of her fiance, she declined. Now, the whole family is after her. Who's in the right? Let us know in the comments. 

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  • 01
    Product - V r/AmItheAsshole Posted by u/throwback88819 1 day ago 2 10 e11 3 12 5 3 AITA for not returning my engagement ring after my fiancee past away?
    via u/throwback88819
  • 02
    Font - I (31F) recently lost my fiancee (37M) Jake. We've been together for 6 years. His death was unexpected and I'm still mourning.
    via u/throwback88819
  • 03
    Font - At the funeral (which I arranged and paid for) his brother (32M) Jim asked me when I'm going to return the engagement ring to the family.
    via u/throwback88819
  • 04
    Font - For context, the engagement ring with which Jake proposed is an ancient family heirloom. It's a gorgeous ring but what makes it priceless is the story behind it.
    via u/throwback88819
  • 05
    Font - Jake got the ring from his grandma a month after we started dating, he claimed he knew back then he would marry me some day and wanted to get his grandma's blessings on the ring. When he proposed his grandma already passed away so having the blessings put on the ring made it extra special for the both of us.
    via u/throwback88819
  • 06
    Font - I asked Jim if he's serious to which he said yes, apparently his long term girlfriend Stacy saw the ring a while ago and fell in love with it and the story behind it so she kept nagging him to get her something similar, which he couldn't. He figured since I can no longer marry Jake he can propose to Stacy with it. I told
    via u/throwback88819
  • 07
    Font - him that he is rude, that the ring was blessed especially for Jake and I in mind, and even if that wasn't the case bringing it up during Jakes funeral is incredibly disrespectful.
    via u/throwback88819
  • 08
    Font - After the funeral I got a massage from Stacy saying it would mean the world for her to be the new owner of the ring and I could always think of her and Jims wedding as the bittersweet ending to my relationship. She said the ring was blessed so one of the grandsons can marry the love of his life, and since Jim is the only living grandson left he has a claim to it. I blocked her.
    via u/throwback88819
  • 09
    Font - My ex MIL also reached out to me and said that although she understands my pain I can't keep the ring since its a family heirloom, so I should suck it up and give it to Jim. I snapped and told her no, the ring is staying with me and following me to the grave if need be. It's a beautiful symbol of Jakes love and I won't let Jim and Stacy sully that memory of him.
    via u/throwback88819
  • 10
    Font - The ring is legally mine so all they can do is cry about it and be bitter. They keep harassing me on social media saying I'm a bad person and that I stole the family heirloom to spite Jim and Stacy out of jealousy but I ignore them.
    via u/throwback88819
  • 11
    Font - Today I met up with my brother and he said that although Jims approach was highly inappropriate, I'm being selfish for keeping the ring as a keep sake. I could always wear different jewelry that Jake bought me in his memory but they could never replace an heirloom that's been in their family for generations.
    via u/throwback88819
  • 12
    Human body - I'm now back home and I can't stop thinking about it, up until this point I was sure I did everything right but maybe I'm just being blinded by my grief.
    via u/throwback88819
  • 13
    Font - A friend suggested I ask for an objective opinion and recommend this place, so AITA?
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  • 14
    Font - walkingdeadite33 - 1 day ago Partassipant [1] Since you paid for the funeral, and they didn't, offer to sell them the ring back for the cost of the funeral. If you're not family entitled to keep the heirloom in their opinion, you shouldn't have had to pay for the funeral expenses. The brother was an AH to ask for it at the funeral. Otherwise keep it. NTA.
    via u/walkingdeadite33
  • 15
    Font - JingerBare · 23 hr. ago Exactly my thoughts as well. They didn't chip in a cent it seems for the death of their son or brother??
    via u/JingerBare
  • 16
    Font - Hello_Gorgeous1985 · 22 hr. age Partassipant [1] Yeah..Stacy "saw the ring while ago and fell in love with it and kept nagging him to get something similar..." It's not about the heirloom at all. She just wants the shiny thing.
    via u/Hello_Gorgeous1985

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