Boyfriend Tries Controlling Girlfriend's Shower Temperature, Thinks He Is The Victim

Author image for Eric Lund
Eric Lund
May 6, 2022 2:00 PM EDT

It's pretty normal for showers to steam. This guy either takes lukewarm showers, or is under the impression that a steaming shower means that the water is literally boiling your skin to pieces. And if that's the case, he just needs a science lesson. Also, he's very interestingly concerned by his bathroom's ability to handle steam, which is kind of a standard thing that bathrooms should be able to do, right? Is his shower curtain made of crepe paper? But the real weirdness here is this guy's insistence on policing the showering habits of his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend.

Not only does this guy go so far as to insist she shower differently, he also decided that it's reasonable to remove the lock so he can more easily invade her privacy to check and make sure she's showering in the manner that he personally deems acceptable.

For some more curious unreasonable-ness, here's the wife who insisted her family be able to stay while a nurse changes her husband's catheter.

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  • 01
    Font - Y r/AmItheAsshole · Posted by u/fritofiend 22 hours ago AITA for Not Allowing my GF to have Dangerously Hot Showers? Asshole I have been dating my gf for 8 months. Things have been going so well that when she started a project based in my part of the city, she decided to stay at my place temporarily rather than do the daily commute. I noticed that when she showers, she has the water so hot that steam billows from the bathroom when she opens the door. It leaves everything in the bathroom w
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  • 02
    Font - I have been telling her to use the dehumidifier in the bathroom as she showers. She told me that she showers with the window open and turns it on afterwards because the air was too humid for the dehumidifier. I put my foot down and told her it wasn't optional, and she ended up breaking the dehumidifier with the steam. I told her that enough was enough, and that if there's no dehumidifier then she would have to shower at a normal temperature like everyone else does. When she comes out of t
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  • 03
    Font - Well, last week I had enough of it. I took the lock off the bathroom door. (The toilet is in a separate room so there is still complete privacy when using the toilet btw.) Now she can't steam out my entire bathroom without me knowing. I knock before entering and make sure it's not too steamy in the bathroom and that the temperature of the water is normal. She hasn't said anything about it, but since I did that, her mood has been low with me. She's started spending weekends at her place an
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  • 04
    Font - Acrobatic-Ad6350 · 22 hr. ago 3 & 3 More "I'm a controlling asshole, forced my gf to break my dehumidifier (after she warned me it would break it) and then blamed her for the damage anyway, took the locks off the door and am treating her like a toddler that can't make her own decisions. Now I'm surprise pikachu because she's slowly moving out and doesn't want to put up with my controlling behavior anymore. AITA?" In case you couldn't gather it by this point... yea. YTA.
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  • 05
    Font - bandit021 · 21 hr. ago Partassipant [1] YTA. For so many reasons. 1. She is an adult woman. She can have the shower as hot as she wants to. 2. She EXPLICITLY TOLD YOU the steam would break the humidifier. But you put your foot down and what a surprise, it's ft king broken. After she told you it would be. 3. You removed the lock to bust in on her in the f king shower to control her water temperature. I don't get how you're not seeing how creepy and controlling that is. I hope she breaks up
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  • 06
    Human body - piggybankheart · 22 hr. ago "She told me it was too humid for the dehumidifier. I told her I didn't care and to put it on anyway. She did exactly that and somehow it's her fault my dehumidifier is broken."
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  • 07
    Font - Glittercorn111 - 22 hr. ago Certified Proctologist [24] LOL, enjoy being single with a dry shower. YTA, a strange, controlling asshole.
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  • 08
    Rectangle - Scrabblement · 22 hr. ago Partassipant [3] YTA. It's a bathroom. You're allowed to take hot, steamy showers in a bathroom. It's normal. Trying to control your girlfriend's shower temperature isn't.
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  • 09
    Rectangle - Some_Anteater_5077 · 22 hr. ago This has GOT TO BE A JOKE. Yta. Hot showers unclog your nose when you have allergies. We know how hot it can be without it hurting. Hot showers HELP with body aches. YTA
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  • 10
    Font - grumpyspudgal · 22 hr. ago Asshole Aficionado [14] YTA. If you're concerned about your girlfriend's shower habits damaging the bathroom, you could've brought it up like an adult. Instead you chose to act like a controlling parent, and now it doesn't look like you'll have a girlfriend for much longer.
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  • 11
    Font - mzpljc · 22 hr. ago Asshole Aficionado [16] YTA, and she is clearly breaking up with you.
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  • 12
    Font - QuackLikeMe · 22 hr. ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [46] YTA Usually I say "your place, your rules." But you're literally trying to dictate how she is allowed to shower to the point that you took the lock off the bathroom door! She's doing the right thing by not staying at your place so much anymore, and moving her things back to her own place.
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  • 13
    Font - Aggressive_Mood214 · 22 hr. ago Asshole Aficionado [16] Tell me this is a joke.... YTA, hopefully your (former) gf gets her shit out of your house quickly and peacefully and gets to take as many long, hot showers as she pleases in the future.
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