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House Phone Saga pt. 1
"Bastian family mortuary, you stab 'em we slab 'em!"
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House Phone Saga pt. 2
"Bastian family mortuary and steakhouse! You kill 'em, we grill 'em! How can I help you?"
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House Phone Saga pt. 3
*In robot voice* "Thank you for calling. Your estimated wait time is…"
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House Phone Saga pt. 4
"Bastian family orphanage—you make 'em, we take 'em! Is this for pickup or delivery?"
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House Phone Saga. pt. 5
"Thank you for calling the Satanic hotline. Dial 1 for ritual sacrifice, dial 3…"
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House Phone Saga pt. 6
"Thank you for calling! I've been trying to get in contact with you about your car's extended warranty!"
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House Phone Saga pt. 7 (The Office edition)
"Dunder Mifflin Scranton, Michael Scott's Meredith Palmer Rabies Awareness Pro Am Fun Run for the cure!"
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House Phone Saga pt. 8
"On the air, If You Dare! You are lucky caller number 9! Go ahead with your answer!"
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House Phone Saga pt. 9
"Billy Bob's Roadkill Cafe—Straight from your fender, served hot and tender!"
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House Phone Saga pt. 10
"Madam Shannon's House of Pain. How may I hurt you today?"
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House Phone Saga pt. 11 (Christmas Edition)
"Buddy the Elf! What's your favorite color?"
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House Phone Saga pt. 12
(Second attempt at Satanic Hotline) "Thank you for calling the Satanic hotline! For ritual sacrifice dial 1; To sell you soul to capitalism HAHAH too late; To sell your soul to me dial 3…" [What she would've continued to say, if the telemarketer didn't so rudely hang up: "To scream endlessly into the Void dial 4; Para Español marque cinco; To speak to the Devil himself dial 666; To hear these options repeated think about the last time you said something really embarrassing and then just hyper-fixate on the thing you wish you would have said."
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House Phone Saga pt. 13
"Thank god you called! There's blood everywhere! And I don't know what to do!! Help…."
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House Phone Saga pt. 14
"House of the Lord. Jesus speaking. How may I save you today?"
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House Phone Saga pt. 15
"Joe's Taxidermy! You snuff 'em, we stuff 'em! How can I help you today?"
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House Phone Saga pt. 16
"Psychic hotline—you have the wrong number."
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House Phone Saga pt. 17
"Kiernan's mortuary and pizzeria—where yesterday's loss is today's sauce! What can I get started for you?"
Woman Comes up with the Funniest Greetings to Throw Off the Telemarketers Constantly Calling Her Landline
Telemarketers are so annoying. They call and call none stop and try to get you with scam after scam. At this point, most people refuse to even answer unknown numbers unless they know to be expecting a call from a number they don't have saved that day.
Sure, you can ignore these numbers calling you that are obviously telemarketers, or you could try and have a little fun. That is exactly what TikToker @ladykiernan is doing. She lives in a home that came with a landline. She never intended to have a house phone, but she got one. Why does she keep it? My guess is she's having way too much fun with it now. The TikToker never learned the phone number to the house phone and never cared to—like most people in 2022, she has a cellphone and uses that number. So she has never given whatever phone number her landline is (which, again, she doesn't even know it). So when it rings, it's obvious who the caller is… Telemarketers.
Instead of getting rid of the landline or just ignoring the calls, she's come up with a better more entertaining way to handle the telemarketers. She now has a hilarious series viral on TikTok where she answers the phone with the most hilarious lines.
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