'My mom cheated on my dad and I get why': Wife Cheats On Lazy Husband Who Puts 0 Effort Into Relationship, He Forgives Because He Can't Survive Without Her

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elina lee
Jan 5, 2023 3:00 PM EST

We've said it before and we'll say it again - for relationships to survive and thrive, both sides need to put in the effort. Both sides need to make each other feel like they're supported, loved, and adored. Everyone has different love languages and it's our ultimate duty as a partner to know and show love through our partner's love lingo. Some may require a little extra physical touch, others may require constant words of affirmation. But the relationships with the highest survival rate are those that incorporate all 5: words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, quality time, and physical touch. 

Today we're bringing you a story that we're sure many of you can relate to; whether you've observed it or lived it yourself. A daughter tells the story of how her mom cheated on her dad and explores their relationship dynamic. We encourage everyone to have a read and pay attention to the key takeaways. After all, this could save your relationship. 

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  • 01
    Font - Posted by u/pink_curlzzz 7 days ago 33 13 My mom cheated on my dad... and I get why
    via u/pink_curlzzz
  • 02
    Organism - So back when I was teen it was discovered that my mom was carrying on an affair with another man. My dad ended up forgiving my mom and moving forward together. I held resentment for my mom for a real long time because how dare she do that to my dad. Hindsight is 20/20 though.
    via u/pink_curlzzz
  • 03
    Font - Well now as I am an adult (pushing 30) I can see their relationship for what it is. My dad is a great dad, absolutely wonderful, (although I can see the misogyny from how he was raised at that period of time). As a husband/ partner I can see how lousy he is. My mom is basically his mom too. She does ALL the cleaning in their house, he can't be bothered to even wash a dish or clean up after himself, my mom does it all. The mental load, she's takes it all.
    via u/pink_curlzzz

    'My mom is basically his mom too. She does ALL the cleaning in their house, he can't be bothered to even wash a dish or clean up after himself, my mom does it all. The mental load, she's takes it all.' 

    Can't say we've never heard this before 

  • 04
    Font - Keeping track of groceries they need for the next shopping trip. She's in charge of paying all the bills, cooking the meals. Oh and she still has to work her regular job full time (45+ hours a week). My dads health isn't the greatest, so my mom has also become his nurse when he is ill, managing the myriad of his medications & general health. Also, she cares for my grandma as she is sick too with a couple diseases so on top of everything she does she manages grandma's health too. All witho
    via u/pink_curlzzz

    The list just goes on and on

  • 05
    Font - This past Christmas put everything into perspective. My mom coordinated with my siblings to all go in on a super expensive gift for him for Christmas. An item he really really wants. The effort he put into her gift? ZERO, he got her absolutely nothing. I spoke to him privately prior to gift exchange about what he got my mom, claiming well I buy her nice anniversary & birthday gifts isn't that enough? I see the disappointment my mom feels on her face and it hurts me. She doesn't get "just
    via u/pink_curlzzz
  • 06
    Font - This has been their whole relationship not just after the affair, but prior to it too. So although I absolutely do not condone cheating, I can understand why she did what she did back then. I get sad thinking of my mom and how she takes care of everyone but the person who is supposed to take care of her doesn't do that. I catch myself thinking occasionally "they should really just get divorced"
    via u/pink_curlzzz
  • 07
    Font - I have learned over the years to really cherish my mom, so even if he doesn't spoil her, I do. Take her on mini weekend trips, we go to out of town concerts together. I try to buy her small just thinking of you gifts so she can feel appreciated and loved.
    via u/pink_curlzzz
  • 08
    Font - In no way was I condoning infidelity, just that things are not so black and white as Reddit tends to think. Cheating is not ok yet sometimes there are nuances to it. Just that it starts with a person being unappreciated and unloved and turns into just a mother rather a wife. That they seek those "pretty words" somewhere else and it can spiral into something you never meant it to be.
    via u/pink_curlzzz
  • 09
    Font - I was just observing and reflecting that their relationship isn't something that I want for myself. I don't want a partner that I have to be their mother because they refuse to do their share in the relationship. How can you maintain attraction and chemistry with a partner you have to baby? And on the other hand betraying a partner is something I could never do. I've seen it with my eyes and refuse to take part in that.
    via u/pink_curlzzz
  • 10
    Font - So in short Reddit, learn from my parents mistakes. Please take care of your significant others and treat each other as partners and equals and not as house cleaners & caretakers. And don't cheat on them either because that hardly ever ends well and just causes severe pain on the other person.
    via u/pink_curlzzz
  • 11
    Font - thepsychopoodle 7 days ago 2 This explains why he didn't leave her after the affair; he literally cannot discovering live without her. It's not love; it's dependency.
    via u/thepsychopoodle
  • 12
    Font - Weekend-Various 6 days ago ● You've hit the nail on the head. This is literally my Dad with my Mum. I never knew how to describe it, but now I do..
    via u/Weekend-Various
  • 13
    Smile - georgiemaebbw . 7 days ago I hope you and your siblings take your mom out for dinner for no reason, and send her Just Because flowers.
    via u/georgiemaebbw
  • 14
    Font - shadow4eternity My mom is in a similar boat. So for her and my dad's 50th anniversary, I'm taking her to Hawaii. He's staying home and taking care of the house. I've spent alot of time talking with her over the years of what she wants to see and am trying to get her wherever she wants to go while she can still enjoy it. · 7 days ago ●
    via u/shadow4eternity
  • 15
    Font - 1-10p. 6 days ago I buy my MIL diamonds and fancy purses because my FIL doesn't. She doesn't have a daughter so I'm the next best thing. Ever since I started, I noticed he buys her nice jewelry for holidays. That's ok. He can be in "competition" with me. My goal is to shower her with the gifts she always should have had. If she gets two each birthday and holiday that's even better.
    via u/1-10p

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relationship marriage lazy wife husband cheating love-language 0-effort dating
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