'Two cups... made me transcend the space-time continuum': Guy shares his TIFU learning moment, says it was a 'terrible discovery'

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Jan 16, 2023 11:00 AM EST

Breakfast time is not the best time for kitchen experiments, as one unfortunate dude learned the hard way. As he shared in a r/TIFU (today I f***** up) post that gained thousands of comments, he shared his brewing experience with us, so that we may absorb his wisdom. Basically, the OP did a lot of research on coffee, and kind of fell down a rabbit hole, leading to them purchasing an expensive new toy to make coffee with. But the OP clearly didn't do quite enough research, as they explain in the post below. They instead made a near-perfect cup of coffee, with a major caveat that the OP was completely unprepared for. 

Up next, click here to check out another coffee related story of an angry Karen customer who got roasted by an off the clock employee. 

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • 01
    Purple - 'I drank my full morning dose of two 300ml mugs in just over an hour. And then, I discovered an unexpected side effect.'
    via Alexandra Gorn on Unsplash
  • 02
    Font - r/tifu Posted by u/PresidentWeevil 3 12 3 15 3 2 19 3 TIFU by purchasing an expensive coffee machine and making a terrible discovery
    via r/tifu
  • 03
    Font - I drink a lot of coffee. My mornings consist of two 300ml mugs of coffee, and I sometimes have a third after dinner later in the day. Recently, I got far too into James Hoffmann's videos and decided to upgrade my s drip coffee machine for a proper precision brewer. And when I say precision, I mean that this thing comes with a water testing strip so you can calibrate the machine for the mineral content in your water supply. Serious nerd S. To justify the ludicrous amount of money I spent o
    via r/tifu
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 9726391808
    via r/tifu
  • 05
    Font - TL;DR: My new coffee machine gave me the knowledge that I've been conditioning my body to pi weak brew for a year, and two cups of the real strong stuff made me transcend the space-time continuum.
    via r/tifu
  • 06

    After sharing their epic tale, commenters shared their own horror stories of coffee gone so wrong.

    Font - Cant_think__of_one +2 1 mo. ago One time I was out of coffee at home, and decided to brew a pot using instant coffee instead of regular grounds. Don't ever do that.
    via r/tifu
  • 07
    Font - rachels17fish - 1 mo. ago I worked with a guy once who would drip brew a triple strong batch of coffee, pour himself a cup, then proceed to scoop instant coffee crystals into the triple brew. I'm not sure how he was alive.
    via r/tifu
  • 08
    Font - ApexHolly 1 mo. ago When I was an EMT, I frequently worked with this medic who would order his coffee with seven shots of espresso. It was... really quite concerning.
    via r/tifu
  • 09
    Font - knifetrader edited 1 mo. ago 1 mo. ago. Reminds me of a story my kid sister told me a few years ago after coming home from a cabin in the woods trip with some friends: one of her guy friends who had apparently never operated a coffee- maker filled up the filter on the drip machine all the way to the top, which means he put in about three or four times the amount of preground coffee you'd normally use. The end result was described by my sister as "closer to crude oil than coffee".
    via r/tifu
  • 10
    Font - 31 YVRkeeper 1 mo. ago There's always that guy on every trip who has never made more than a keurig coffee yet, bless his heart, decides to make coffee in the morning with an unfamiliar machine. You can tell by all the loose grounds surrounding the machine, signifying that the first 3 tablespoons didn't quite measure up. The filter must be full of grounds. I appreciate the attempt, however I prefer not to have to sift the grounds through my teeth while drinking my morning brew, thank you.
    via r/tifu
  • 11
    Font - spaghetti-o_salad 1 mo. ago Then there's that other person on the trip who packs whole beans and a grinder and makes everyone weep tears of joy.
    via r/tifu
  • 12
    Font - INDE Weatherman Official. 1 mo. ago Ex-Barista here, we would get government workers (fairly high up the chain) who would order 5-6 shots of coffee in their large flat whites three times a day. It was an unusual day when they would only come in for 1 coffee, though I suspect they've got plungers/filters/nespresso in their office. It was a concerning time.
    via r/tifu
  • 13
    Font - om some_clickhead 1 mo. ago Also there is no need to brew using instant coffee, it dissolves in water. 770 Share ... CLE-Mosh 1 mo. ago 3 . Used to eat a straight spoon full when I was hungover and late for work...
    via r/tifu
  • 14
    Font - ToTheMax47. 1 mo. ago My dad taught me a trick he used in the army where they would just take spoon of the crystallized Folgers, gum it, and then wash it down with Mountain Dew. Really worked the first, and only, time I've tried it. Made for an interesting end to a 31 hour day Imao
    via r/tifu
  • 15
    Human body - BockTheMan 1 mo. ago . Yum, concentrated coffee concentrate
    via r/tifu
  • 16
    Rectangle - Cant_think__of_one +2. 1 mo. ago When you put it that way... it makes it even more clear how bad of an idea it was!
    via r/tifu
  • 17
    Rectangle - RepairManAction Hero +1 . 1 mo. ago Prepare to feel your scalp, VIVIDLY, for the next few hours.
    via r/tifu
  • 18
    Font - CLE-Mosh 1 mo. ago ...and here I am just randomly dumping unmeasured coffee grounds in a $14 drip machine using water straight from the tap...
    via r/tifu
  • 19
    Font - hopesfallyn 1 mo. ago Big same too. I'd like to try thus guy's coffee, but I love the simplicity of putting my "heaping tablespoon" aka, a spoon from my silverware drawer stuck in the coffee can, into the machine and calling it a day
    via r/tifu
  • 20
    Font - BowzersMom · 1 mo. ago This is a great tale. My favorite part is that you are such a coffee nerd you buy a machine with water quality test strips, but actually not a coffee nerd at all because you didn't even look into the ratios you were using for your drip coffee. Lolol. You also remind me of my in laws. We wondered how and why they drank coffee all. Day. Long. Then we visited overnight and I made myself coffee with my usual splash of milk and my drink was mostly white. When I took a si
    via r/tifu
  • 21
    Font - PresidentWeevil OP 1 mo. ago See, I knew of the world of brew ratios, but I didn't bother getting seriously into it until I upgraded my gear, as I presumed that no amount of precise measuring would get the best results on my weak drip machine. The weak- a brew I was accidentally making was fine, until now
    via r/tifu
  • 22
    Gesture - Chewy12 "It tastes like a Columbia farmer put his fingers in my mouth" 1 mo. ago
    via r/tifu
  • 23
    Font - (8) Bobbylayneblame 1 mo. ago Those are rookie numbers, we got people drinking a gallon of coffee a day out here with eyes twitching 139 Share zuzg. 1 mo. ago As long as they stay under 400mg caffeine per day it's still considered within healthy range. My parents drink a lot of coffee but compensate that by having weak af brews. While I'm drinking only 3 cups of coffee which is noticeable stronger.
    via r/tifu
  • 24
    Automotive tire - twotall88 1 mo. ago Here I am drinking 4 shots of espresso from my c every morning. Breville
    via r/tifu
  • 25
    Font - BigBird2378 1 mo. ago Been there my friend. You're going to have a really bad headache tomorrow. Drink lots of water, eat bananas and bread to soak up the caffeine. Then gradually adjust to your new baseline.
    via r/tifu

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

breakfast caffeine FAIL coffee maker coffee brewing tifu expensive mug
Scroll Down For The Next Article