Short & Sweet Tweets For Easy Entertainment

Advertisement
  • 01
    World - a goose @nikkifranki i love when vets knock before they come into the room. like yes my dog is naked but she also arrived that way 12:37 PM 2023-01-17 424K Views ● 22.3K Likes 1,146 Retweets 9 Quotes
  • 02
    Organism - Watto Allen @Java_jigga Obama being a one term president in the mcu is so funny. I want a 30 page lore essay on how he lost in 2012 3:36 AM 2023-01-14 163K Views ● 3,660 Likes 109 Retweets 5 Quotes
  • 03
    Font - cal @ThroneOfBlood GF who doesn't realize I died two weeks ago: let's order in tonight, what do you want? The Worms Piloting My Corpse Like a Mech: DIRT 1:28 AM 2023-01-18 82.8K Views 4,969 Likes 531 Retweets 6 Quotes
  • 04
    Forehead - SWEATER Monopoly Phonic Ⓡ @Monopoly Phonic I kind of relate to him because not shutting the fuck up can really become so addictive Pop Base @PopBase 1d Prince Harry reveals he has enough material for a second book. 6:06 AM 2023-01-17 495K Views . 17.5K Likes 1,528 Retweets 31 Quotes
  • 05
    Font - Premee Mohamed @premeesaurus having a cat is great. every day i'm like 'how did i live life before this.' i mean yes the crime rate in my house is up like 40,000% percent. but. worth it for the new experiences every day with this guy. 12:44 PM 2023-01-17 122K Views . 5,955 Likes 1,269 Retweets 33 Quotes
  • 06
    Facial expression - Michael Kennedy @MichaelKenKen Buccal fat removal be like 5:54 PM 2023-01-17 108K Views 3,531 Likes 328 Retweets 11 Quotes
  • 07
    Font - Priss pudding person @JUNIPER under communism there is going to be one large spoon that everyone has to share while eating out of a single large cauldron of soup 3:54 PM 2023-01-18 50.5K Views 2,660 Likes 141 Retweets 5 Quotes
  • 08
    Organism - MENT OF WASHINGTON M. DEP NATURAL AL RESOUR Washington State Dept. of Natural R... @waDNR We're hiring influencers and by that I mean firefighters who influence the forest to no longer be on fire. 3:36 PM 2023-01-18 676K Views 26.5K Likes 2,411 Retweets 130 Quotes
  • 09
    Mammal - saoirse @hvycharms chess is confusing because a hung queen is bad??? 3:25 PM 2023-01-17 25.9K Views 1,272 Likes 224 Retweets 4 Quotes
  • 10
    Font - raina @quakerraina The Real Housewives of Inisherin 1:24 AM 2023-01-19 47.8K Views . 1,345 Likes 120 Retweets 3 Quotes
  • 11
    Font - bones old peeved austin @Duke Longley tl;dr stands for the lord;da rings 6:59 AM 2023-01-18 165K Views ● ● 6,424 Likes 910 Retweets 3 Quotes
  • 12
    Font - Austine @theereal_one y'all ever wake up from a dream & be impressed??! like damn, the narrative structure and plot line was amazing 12:16 PM 2023-01-18 1.7M Views 70.2K Likes 13.8K Retweets 1,532 Quotes
  • 13
    Mammal - trash jones @jzux when a hot person at work emails me i'm like this email could have been a meeting 12:49 PM 2023-01-18 1.3M Views . 36.2K Likes 1,842 Retweets 139 Quotes
  • 14
    Font - ww Limbe Year 100,000 Shen Comix @shenanigansen making the moon fucked up is the first step of any good world building. the moon is normal in your story? just a normal moon? amateur mistake. 8:57 PM 2023-01-18 2.4M Views ● 83.6K Likes 8,065 Retweets 1,316 Quotes
  • 15
    Joint - gio @yesimpacking which cologne smell better? 1:05 AM 2023-01-18 194K Views . 5,639 Likes 424 Retweets 77 Quotes
  • 16
    Font - Jerry Avenaim @avenaim The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains is great news for some people. 6:01 PM 2023-01-19 5,011 Views . . 221 Likes 29 Retweets 3 Quotes
  • 17
    Organism - King Eddie Better Than Ever VVV @BLaze4490 5'2 girls be saying “when I was little" like bro you mean this morning? 1:58 AM 2023-01-19 81.4K Views . 774 Likes 166 Retweets 182 Quotes
  • 18
    Font - Nate, #1 Dirty Ho Fan @hollowchatter Back in the day there was a fan vote to pick a line Optimus Prime would say in the Transformers movie. I still laugh thinking about how the studio nixed the winning entry: "I am going to turn into a truck now." 2:32 PM 2023-01-19 351K Views 14.1K Likes 1,320 Retweets 31 Quotes
  • 19
    World - trev @trevorcumbo when i was a little kid i thought kramer and newman were the evil jerry and george like wario and waluigi 1:05 AM 2023-01-20 55.2K Views . 2,366 Likes 176 Retweets 11 Quotes
  • 20
    Font - Viktor Winetrout @Cpin42 [shitfaced at my HS reunion] Has anyone seen the lunch lady 12:56 AM 2023-01-20 168K Views 7,159 Likes 644 Retweets 24 Quotes :
  • 21
    Font - Sophie Vershbow @svershbow My version of a smoke break as a WFH employee who doesn't smoke is standing in the kitchen during the 5 minutes between video calls eating a pickle. 12:28 PM 2023-01-20 84.7K Views ● 2,721 Likes 142 Retweets 16 Quotes
  • 22
    Font - élie @bouzingot women don't "YOOHOO! OH, YOOHOO!" while batting eyes and waving a kerchief like they used to 1:51 PM 2023-01-20 120K Views . 5,957 Likes 752 Retweets 55 Quotes
  • 23
    Font - kenzie @pk_kenzie doctor who in the 60s: we made this show about a time travelling man to educate british children about both history and science doctor who now: what if snowmen killed people. Imao 7:07 PM 2023-01-20 144K Views 8,599 Likes 540 Retweets 18 Quotes
  • 24
    Font - Megs @the_meghaning A lady ahead of me ordered fast food. The cashier said "That'll be $6.66." She said "Oh no. I don't like that total. Better throw in a corndog." This woman is an inspiration. She's out there fighting off the powers of Satan with a corndog as her weapon of choice. 7:53 PM 2023-01-20 73.4K Views . 5,558 Likes 631 Retweets 61 Quotes
  • 25
    Font - ray of moonlight @GaterHouser im giving an octopus a cigarette, a joint and a 40 and teaching him to work the flat top on a brunch line. 8 spatulas.... what power... 11:11 AM 2023-01-20 41.7K Views 1,842 Likes 207 Retweets 3 Quotes
  • 26
    Mammal - Paris @solarishilton a beer glass is hardware where as the beer itself is software..., and buddy, i'm downloading 10:05 PM 2023-01-20 31.6K Views 1,288 Likes 189 Retweets
  • 27
    Organism - I Tom Kiely P67 @TomKiely Fall Out Boy fan: ‘this song literally defined who I am as a person Fall Out Boy song title: 'Scrabble isn't the best way to pass the time when all I can think of is U and I' 9:44 AM 2023-01-21 266K Views 10.4K Likes 1,620 Retweets 99 Quotes
  • 28
    Watch - col @wokecol When I die I want to be reincarnated as one of these 1:14 PM 2023-01-20 122K Views 3,092 Likes 662 Retweets 53 Quotes
  • 29
    Organism - CATE Tommy Stella @tommy_stella If HBO's The Last of Us' apocalypse started in 2003, that means they never got to see Shrek 2 (2004). They may be surviving on that show, but are they really living if they haven't seen Shrek 2? 11:52 AM 2023-01-21 508K Views 20.5K Likes 2,756 Retweets 103 Quotes
  • 30
    Font - Ygrene @Ygrene remember when the fbi would threaten you at the beginning of every vhs tape, that was pretty cool 5:09 PM 2023-01-21 315K Views . ● 16.2K Likes 1,136 Retweets 35 Quotes
  • 31
    Font - JACINDA @brokebackboys i think outfit repeating is superior bc like spongebob wears the same outfit everyday and people still love him 12:11 AM 2023-01-22 58.7K Views 3,083 Likes 270 Retweets 10 Quotes
  • 32
    Organism - Charlie (Let's Try To Keep It Respectful... @Charlie Sosnick The mental health benefits of a weekly Bourdain day (walking around, trying a new restaurant, chatting, drinking by 2) can not be overstated 5:07 PM 2023-01-21 27.3K Views . 916 Likes 46 Retweets 3 Quotes
  • 33
    Organism - Paul Jessup summons ghosts @pauljessup anyone that honestly thinks backing up a human brain into a computer will let you live forever has never had to restore a document from 15 years ago in a format that doesn't exit anymore, or even run a Linux app from 3 years ago that hasn't been updated to the latest kernel 11:42 AM 2023-01-21 160K Views 4,485 Likes 572 Retweets 47 Quotes

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article