Update! ‘What? AITA did good?’: Stepdad makes amends with son after getting eviscerated online

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Mar 3, 2023 4:00 PM EST

It's not every day that you see savagery on the Internet actually make a positive impact. Yup, you read that right. This stepdad posted to Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole subreddit and was eviscerated in the comments section by the ruthless judges of the AITA community, but now the Redditor has come back having turned over a new leaf. 

 

Believe it or not, the internet savagery that u/nervousaccomplice74 received actually made him learn to listen to his stepson and realize that he was going through an incredible amount of change during an already difficult stage of life. Who would have thought that the AITA community could do some good in the world, or that this guy would have the capability to look inward and reflect rather than turn a blind eye to what people were saying? What a 180 to have witnessed. Am I about to cry right now? Who's to say?

 

Keep scrolling below for the original post followed by the update and some new comments. For more stories like this, here's a funny one about a student who was forced to write a fundraising letter to his grandparents.

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  • 01
    Font - AITA for setting boundaries with my stepson? Update: Thank you for everyone who has taken the time to comment, and thank you further to the people who have offered helpful advice. I didn't come here to be vindicated, I came to find out if I was doing everything I could for my stepson and clearly I am not. I am going to try to fix what I have done wrong, i'll offer him the option to switch back schools (although I understand that it might be too late) and I will drastically ease up on the
    via u/nervousaccomplice74
  • 02
    Font - Since the day T moved into my house he has been nothing but disrespectful. I understand that change, especially change this drastic (moving, getting new siblings/ a new parent) is hard for a kid but some of the stuff he does just crosses a line. For example, I transferred him to a really great private high school when he moved in because I wanted him to have the best opportunities. He always complains that he doesn't like his new classmates, that the school is too far away (it's 15 minute
    via u/nervousaccomplice74
  • 03
    Font - Additionally, he always breaks rules we have set in place. I have asked him to surrender his phone to the living room at 9pm to have some family time but he says he wants to talk to his old friends. He constantly claims not to like the food his mother or I make even when he hasn't tried it. His mother and I try to have a date night once or twice a week and he always claims he is too busy to watch his step sisters. We have asked him repeatedly for the passwords to his social media accounts
    via u/nervousaccomplice74
  • 04
    Font - I'm sick of the disrespect in my own house, so I set some boundaries. Either he starts treating me with respect and listening to me, or he can find somewhere else to live. Obviously I wouldn't really kick him out, but I'm hoping this scares some sense into him. My wife, however, said I took it too far and need to apologize and tell him I wasn't serious. I feel like this will undermine my authority though. AITA?
    via u/nervousaccomplice74
  • 05
    Font - Edit: I just want to clarify a few things because they seem to be causing confusion in the comments. He did not change schools when he was sixteen. We had him change when he was 14, when he moved in to my house, so about halfway through his first year of high school. Also, he did know about the change, we talked to him about it beforehand. He wasn't excited but he did know that he would be changing schools.
    via u/nervousaccomplice74
  • 06
    Font - Update: AITA for setting boundaries with my stepson UPDATE Original post A little bit more than a year ago, I asked for advice on how to deal with my stepson. I was ripped to shreds in the comments, and deservedly so. For those who haven't read the post: I didn't feel like my stepson was respecting my authority after I imposed overly strict rules upon him.
    via u/nervousaccomplice74
  • 07
    Font - I've had a few people ask for an update, but first, I wanted to clear up one thing. Many people assumed that I took an under privileged kid and put him in a school full of rich kids. That couldn't be further from the truth. Before we married, he and his mother were very well off. We both have really well paying jobs, the only reason he was in a public school was because the schools in our area are really great. The only reason he was switched to the private school is because it is a STEM
    via u/nervousaccomplice74
  • 08
    Font - Now on to the update. After reading the comments telling me how horrible of a stepfather I was, I felt sick. This may seem unbelievable but I was genuinely trying to do right by him and I was beside myself realizing that I did more harm than good. My stepson never knew his father, and I jumped at the chance to have that special father/son bond with him. I eased up on many of the restrictions I placed, he no longer has to surrender his phone and while we still do have family time, it's abo
    via u/nervousaccomplice74
  • 09
    Font - As for the school issue, he is still at the school we switched him too. We had many long talks about this very issue and he ultimately decided to finish out his high school career at the school because, while he missed his friends, he was able to recognize that this new school offered him the best opportunity to get into the college he really wants to attend.
    via u/nervousaccomplice74
  • 10
    Font - Since all of this, the relationship between my stepson and myself has drastically improved. For his 17th birthday we offered to get him a car and he and I had a really nice time picking out the right one. I've taken him to a few basketball games which he loves (and I've enjoyed learning about the sport from him). He actually got a girlfriend and came to me for advice about dating which is not something that would have happened before.
    via u/nervousaccomplice74
  • 11
    Font - I will say this, I am blessed with an incredibly smart, kind and compassionate stepson; Other kids may not have been so forgiving, and rightfully so. I urge other stepparents out there to really listen to their stepchildren instead of automatically trying to take over, you may not be as lucky as I was.
    via u/nervousaccomplice74
  • 12
    Font - Left-Car6520.9 hr. ago Commander in Cheeks [26... What? AITA did good? An AH turned over a new leaf? Will wonders never cease! Sorry for the snark OP.... congratulations on all the progress. That's really nice to hear a good outcome. Good on your stepson for being big enough to forgive, and good on you for making the changes. 8.2k Reply Share
    via u/nervousaccomplice74
  • 13
    Font - 0 Fun-Office-2954. 8 hr. ago This was such a sweet update, OP. Thank you for doing that. I have stepparents myself and having them respect and value me as my own person made all the difference. Well done! 1.7k Reply Share
    via u/nervousaccomplice74
  • 14
    Font - Aggressive-Remote811. 9 hr. ago How refreshing that someone took advice rather than be defensive and ignore the chance for change! Sounds like you've grown and your stepson has benefited massively! Well done! 2.2k Reply Share
    via u/nervousaccomplice74
  • 15
    Font - blabony 9 hr. ago Well done sir! You are a wonderful person. It is never easy to accept harsh advice (internet comments can be extremely brutal). He is lucky to have you as a father. It is understandable that you struggled before, your daughters were too young for you to have the experience of dealing with a struggling teenager. 879 Reply Share
    via u/nervousaccomplice74
  • 16
    Font - Remarkable-Owl2034. 9 hr. ago So glad you were wise enough and courageous enough to be able to take the feedback and save this relationship! 4528 Reply Share
    via u/nervousaccomplice74
  • 17
    Font - Alarming_Reply_6286 9 hr. ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [30] It's not how you start, it's how you finish! It's great to hear you're all working together on the same team now. Life gets a little easier & happier when the team starts winning! Thank you for sharing this update. 307 Reply Share
    via u/nervousaccomplice74
  • 18
    Font - Doctor-Liz 9 hr. ago Certified Proctologist [23] Well done, OP! It might be worth taking this lesson and making it explicit for all your kids/stepkids - you donked up but it came from a place of caring, you sincerely apologised and changed your behaviour (that bit's important) and it massively helped! A mistake isn't the end of the world, changing and apologising and owning your mistakes helps! 246 Reply Share
    via u/nervousaccomplice74

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family drama aita update divorce family stepdad reddit thread Reddit
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