Long ago, the majestic and floofy cat gods were faced with a godly conundrum on how best to choose their hierarchy. Some suggested a battle of wits, while others suggested tests of strength, stealth, and agility, all would be immediately vetoed by the cat gods of laziness and good vibes. Thus the conundrum remained, unsolved for hundreds of years, filled with chaos.
Until one day, the mysterious and strange cat god of derpiness, Johnny Derp, spontaneously sat on the cat god of floofiness, much to the surprise and awe of the other gods. In response to their awe, he merely proclaimed 'If I fits, I sits', mighty words for which he would be named first among the cat gods, with all the other cat gods vying for his favor by mimicking his ridiculous sitting abilities, a tradition that is immortalized by pawdorable cats and kittens to this day.
This adds a whole new level to 'If I fits, I sits'. Never in our days would we have expected the classic case of a cat sitting in the cardboard box instead of the perfectly good cat furniture you bought with your hard-earned cash to apply to cats this big.
Introducing the Cat-Holder! Are you tired of being unable to move from your seat for hours on end because you have a cat on your lap? Don't worry, we've got the solution to your problem! The Cat-Holder lets you have your cat in arm's reach without restricting mobility. Cats are not included.
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