Female Student Faces Harassment for 'Pretty Privilege' After Acing Exams, Bullies Get Offended When She Reports Them

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Mar 15, 2023 1:30 PM EDT

Academia can be one of the most vicious places about. There are plenty of insecure people out there trying to prove their worth through good grades and intelligent thoughts, and it can make for an unpleasant environment if you happen to be caught up in it all. 

The whole thing gets even worse when you drag gender politics into it; as any semi-clever woman knows, there are few things emotionally immature men hate more than someone female being smarter than them. 

The more competitive the context, this worse this is, as u/Maleficent-Day4476 has recently found out. After her college professor congratulated her on her great exam results in front of the whole class, her predominantly male cohort began to tease her that she had succeeded thanks to her looks, and asking her boyfriend for help.

When the Redditor shared the behavior she was subjected to with her supervisor, the other woman insisted on notifying the head of department. It led to her facing even more animosity from her fellow students, but r/AmIthe*sshole were completely on her side.

 

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  • 01
    Font - 1 r/AmltheAsshole u/Maleficent-Day4476 • 12h 1 3 1 2 AITA for reporting my classmates for joking that I have pretty privilege?
    via Maleficent-Day4476
  • 02
    Font - Background: I'm (F23) one of only a few female students in a male dominated course. Furthermore, I am at a highly prestigious university and I haven't really gotten along with the guys on my course. They are all very competitive and I just don't really enjoy their company - everything turns into a pissing contest, and they definitely take me less seriously because I'm a woman. I stopped interacting with them beyond the mere minimum, and choose to hang out with other people.
    via Maleficent-Day4476
  • 03
    Font - Anyway: I did well in our recent exams (I topped two out four). Our prof congratulated me during class (1 wouldn't have advertised this myself). Ever since then, my interactions with a specific group of male classmates have gotten weird. They're now outright rude and challenge me aggressively in class discussions. We recently had some presentations and one of them chose to do theirs on, to put it simply, "pretty privilege" - they specifically pointed to two papers that suggested that pret
    via Maleficent-Day4476
  • 04
    Font - I've been seeing a PhD student within our department for a month. He has literally nothing to do with our course. Well, we ran into one of my course mates A together. The next day in class his friend B asked me if "my boyfriend" helped me with exams. He said this intentionally loudly and in front of the professor, who heard this. I replied that I dont have a boyfriend (cause he's not my bf), but then B pointed out that he had run into me with the PhD student, making a point to say his nam
    via Maleficent-Day4476
  • 05
    Font - They didn't let up - I heard that they discussed this thing in two more classes, in earshot of the professors. Both times they suggested I got help for my exams (I wasn't even seeing him then). I didn't confront them, but this has been causing me so much anxiety - even without the exam accusations, I worked hard to get here and I don't want to be known among the faculty for my dating life.
    via Maleficent-Day4476
  • 06
    Font - I raised this issue with my supervisor, without the intention of taking it any further, but I wanted her advice as a woman in academia. She convinced me to let her email their supervisors "to remind them of proper conduct" and described their treatment of an "unnamed female student". She didn't name me, but they figured it out. They confronted me after class and asked my why I would report their "silly joke". Apparently, their supervisors are now very cold towards them and less interested
    via Maleficent-Day4476
  • 07
    Human body - I now feel a bit embarrassed and this was compounded by a friend telling me I took it to far cause C shouldn't lose out on his scholarship. So, reddit - AITA?
    via Malecifent-Day4476
  • 08
    Font - ΝΤΑ thirdtryisthecharm 12h Prime Ministurd [461] 1 Award Any retaliation should also be reported. They're angling for some big problems if they keep this up. : Reply 426.9k JungleKing65 12h Also I commend your courage in defending yourself. That takes tenacity!
    via thirdtryisthecharm
  • 09
    Font - Greater Amberjack 12h 2 Awards NTA - they know what they're doing because jokers like this have been doing it for years - undermine your accomplishments, question your abilities and then act shocked when you stand up for yourself. I'm happy (and somewhat surprised) that the faculty and administration is treating this as seriously as it deserves. Nolite te bastardes carborundorum. : Reply 4 17.0k ↓ Maleficent-Day4476 OP • 12h its mainly my awesome supervisor - probs wouldn't have been supp
    via GreaterAmberjack
  • 10
    Font - NTA. lordliv 12h Partassipant [1] 5 Awards Tell them maybe people would be more motivated to help them if they smiled more.
    via lordliv
  • 11
    Rectangle - anyoldname7 12h 2 Awards If their "pretty privilege joke" made you lose out on a scholarship or caused you to be graded extra hard, they wouldn't give it a crap. They intentionally and repeatedly made this "silly joke" out loud, in front of professors. NTA. Maybe they should have thought about treating you with respect and professionalism BEFORE it had to come from a place of authority. Reply 46.5k
    via anyoldname7
  • 12
    Font - ncndsvlleTA 12h Partassipant [2] NTA, if misogynists want to be awarded scholarships then they should be quieter
    via ncndsvlleTA
  • 13
    Rectangle - Dittoheadforever 12h Colo-rectal Surgeon [46] 2 Awards You're NTA and it wasn't a "silly joke." It was repeated harassment and constant implications that you're not worthy of your grades and haven't earned your way to where you are. You don't deserve that and it should have been reported. It's a shame those guys are so insecure and jealous of your accomplishments, but any consequences that befall them are well earned. : Reply 3.0k
    via Dittoheadforever
  • 14
    Font - ΝΤΑ PJfanRI 12h Colo-rectal Surgeon [43] They're harassing you, plain and simple. If they lose their financial aid its because of their own actions, not yours. You should be proud of yourself for standing up to their bullying. Edit: damn you autocorrect!
    via PJfanRI
  • 15
    Rectangle - Ok_General_6940 12h Partassipant [3] 1 Award NTA at ALL These men can't stand having a competent woman around. I have worked in a male dominated field for over a decade and I want to commend you on standing up for yourself. This is bullshit you shouldn't have to put up with and I'd start documenting everything. I'd also go talk to that first professor 1:1 and ask them not to announce your grades publicly again. I had to do that in my undergrad, and it helped immensely. Good luck OP,
    via Ok_General_6940

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