Greetings, and welcome to the Fabulous Facial Follicles Competition, where we see crazy and awesome beards, mustaches, and everything in between, and decide which is the most fabulous! So get ready to see some delightfully dapper doggos, fabulously fickle felines, and high-strung highborn horses with the greatest facial hair around!
And let's not forget our reptile division, whose hard work growing spines and scales to look like beards is one of the hardest and most appreciated arts in this contest. First up we have Wally the Walrus, who will be starting off our magnificent mustache division, look at how mesmerizing those whiskers are. Okay, let's get this show on the road!
This iz my zon, I shall name him Mr. Whizkerz, after myzelf and my fazer, who was named for hiz fazer. Truly it iz an auzpiciouz day for the Whizkerz family! I have no doubt my boy will do great thingz in ze future.
Horse mustaches come in two modes, extremely dapper noble's mustache and extremely terrifying sea monster mustache. Both are absolutely hilarious to see, especially when they whinny and the hair moves with their lips.
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