'I was selfish and unreliable' : Redditors Share 20 Real Truths About Why Their Relationships Didn't Last

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elina lee
Mar 25, 2023 12:00 PM EDT

If there's one takeaway we want y'all to carry with you forever and always is that it's okay for relationships not to work out. In fact, it's pretty much inevitable. Sure, it may be sad and scary to let go of everything you've built, but if the relationship has exhausted itself - it may be time to move on. 

We're human beings, after all, and we're constantly growing and changing, and sometimes that means outgrowing the people we're with. Be it a friendship, a romantic relationship, or anything else, really. The most important part of it all is to not consider it as a failure but instead, just part of the process. 

Don't get us wrong, it's definitely a tough pill to swallow when you thought you'd found your happily ever after, and then things don't work out. But ultimately, we all deserve to be with people who love, cherish, appreciate, and respect us. Remember that always. 

With that being said, we present to you 20 honest replies from Redditors on why their relationships didn't work out. 

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  • 01
    Font - Posted by u/Specialist-Crazy1466 1 day ago n Why did you and your ex break up?
    via u/Specialist-Crazy1466
  • 02
    Font - bunkermunkee 1 day ago 2 I didn't have my shit together yet and was selfish and unreliable. She thought she deserved better, and back then, she was right. I've come a long way since then.
    via u/bunkermunkee

    If only we had a penny for every time we heard a story like this 

  • 03
    Font - tim28347757575 19 hr. ago Hell yeah, same with me and a couple women in my early 20's. The guy they didn't like at the end isn't the man I've become and I'm not sure I'd be this guy if that all didn't happen.
    via u/tim28347757575
  • 04
    Font - factory_666 17 hr. ago I didn't have my shit together and I thought she deserved better, so I broke it off. She tried fighting for me for 2 years but suddenly got married. Several unsuccessful relationships later I'm still single and still don't have my shit together and she is in an awful marriage, and I feel terrible for her.
    via u/factory_666
  • 05
    Font - Skwerilleee 21 hr. ago ● I found pictures of her banging some other dude in our bed while I was gone for work. 5 years of my life down the drain.
    via u/Skwerilleee

    Cheaters are the absolute worse. So sorry this happened to you. 

  • 06
    Font - TheUrbanFarmersWife 22 hr. ago edited 7 hr. ago His mom slapped me. I was tired of being abused by the bitch so I told him he couldn't keep both of us in his life. He had to choose me or his mother. He chose his pregnant mistress. Edited for clarity. Original wording read "He chose his pregnant side piece."
    via u/TheUrbanFarmersWife
  • 07
    Font - GuinevereduLac 18 hr. ago I'm also a "she that got fed up of being taken for granted", but I'd forgive him if he offered me an honest apology. Hell, I'd take him back if he really showed me that he cares. What I'm saying is - if she's not in a new relationship and you still love her, you might try and reach out. Life is too short
    via u/GuinevereduLac
  • 08
    Font - merlinface 23 hr. ago 3 months of long distance. She gave me a "summary" of her week via text. I spent the first few weeks trying to engage in conversation only to be ignored for another summary.
    via u/merlinface
  • 09
    Font - I spent the next few months asking if we could just enjoy casual messages that flowed in a natural conversation to mimic how we spoke when we were in the same city. After 2 months of not being listened to, I called her up and broke it off. For some reason she was surprised.
    via u/merlinface
  • 10
    Font - Azzizzi 1 day ago My ex-wife filed for divorce to teach me a lesson, thinking I would try to stop the divorce. She was piping mad when I didn't, though.
    via u/Azzizzi
  • 11
    Font - rollercoaster_5 22 hr. ago I took time off from work to take care of her parents. Her mom died, and it hit her hard. I continued taking care of her dad, but she was so stressed she would go out with her daughters and friends from work to de-stress. After two years of staying at her parents' house 24/7 and right before her dad died, she told me I was a godsend and she wanted a divorce. She locked me out of our house and had the attorney she was working with declare I had abandoned it so sh
    via u/rollercoaster_5
  • 12
    Font - sheepishgoat332 23 hr. ago We grew as people but in different directions and the things we once connected over were no longer relevant.
    via u/sheepishgoat332
  • 13
    Font - Gua_Bao 21 hr. ago. edited 9 hr. ago She went to Hawaii for a girls weekend, came back and told me she wants to focus on her career without worrying about me and broke it off after 4 years. She probably cheated on me.
    via u/Gua_Bao
  • 14
    Font - Edit: She started seeing me as a burden when applying to jobs because she kept considering my opportunities alongside hers. We weren't right for each other anyway so it's cool. Just sucks to have something last for 4 years and then end so suddenly. Kinda ruined my outlook on dating and commitment so I haven't been in a relationship since then. Sucks.
    via u/Gua_Bao
  • 15
    Font - Independent-Face-959. 9 hr. ago This happened to me as well. Went on a trip without him and realized how easy it was not to manage his emotions and expectations. Broke it off a couple weeks later.
    via u/Independent-Face-959
  • 16
    Font - BlazeReborn 18 hr. ago The others aren't even worth mentioning, so I'll speak about my last ex-gf. We ended things on amicable terms, as she couldn't give me the attention she felt I deserved - it was a tough time for her, and in hindsight, I wasn't ready for the commitment she required. She's a remarkable woman and one of my best friends. She actually introduced me to a friend of hers, kept pestering me to ask her out. Glad I did - we got married this month. Bless her heart.
    via u/BlazeReborn
  • 17
    Font - JennFoogle 18 hr. ago Literally couldn't stop cheating and blamed it on his trauma of being a Jehovah witness.
    via u/JennFoogle
  • 18
    Font - emeraldseahorse79 22 hr. ago He wanted to have children in the future and I didn't (and still don't). After almost 4 years together, he essentially gave me an ultimatum of "agree to have kids or we break up", I opted for the break up. I suppose he hoped I'd change my mind, but nope.
    via u/emeraldseahorse79
  • 19
    Font - batratdog 22 hr. ago They threatened to break up with me and then said I love you for the first time when I got upset. It died pretty quickly after that. I don't like emotional rollercoasters.
    via u/batratdog
  • 20
    Font - DjuriWarface 14 hr. ago . "I'm tired of treating you like shit and I can't seem to stop treating you like shit." -Her words.
    via u/DjuriWarface

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