21 of the Best ‘Dad Joke’ Tweets for Married Couples

Author image for Kim Cohen
Kim Cohen
Mar 26, 2023 4:00 PM EDT

As it turns out, we're officially at that age where we're married and laughing at dad jokes (our younger selves wouldn't believe what we've come to). But that this point, if we're totally honest, we're not even remotely mad about it because there's something secretly funny about those type of jokes that we hate to admit that we love.

Whether we can literally hear our dads saying them or we just laugh because we can relate - we really do secretly enjoy this quirky sense of humor. So, this week when we came across an Instagram account packed full of them, we couldn't believe our luck and had to share.

The married couples amongst us will be able to relate, laugh and genuinely want to tell them to their other halves quicker than you can say 'wanna hear a joke' so keep scrolling for the cringiest but oh so amusing dad jokes about being married... 

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  • 01
    21 Of The Best 'Dad Joke' Memes For Married Couples | Thumbnail includes text 'I asked my wife' - Font - Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes A husband says to his wife, "My Olympic condoms have arrived. I think I'll wear gold tonight." The wife replies, "Why not wear silver and come second for a change?"
    via dadsaysjokes
  • 02
    21 Of The Best 'Dad Joke' Memes For Married Couples | Thumbnail includes text 'I asked my wife' - Font - Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes ... My wife says I'm getting fat, but in my defence... I've had a lot on my plate recently.
    via dadsaysjokes
  • 03
    21 Of The Best 'Dad Joke' Memes For Married Couples | Thumbnail includes text 'I asked my wife' - Font - Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife and I just celebrated ten years of happy marriage. It was, coincidentally, our 30th wedding anniversary.
    via dadsaysjokes
  • 04
    21 Of The Best 'Dad Joke' Memes For Married Couples | Thumbnail includes text 'I asked my wife' - Font - Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife yelled from upstairs and asked: "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?" I replied: "No." ... She responded: "How about now?"
    via dadsaysjokes
  • 05
    21 Of The Best 'Dad Joke' Memes For Married Couples | Thumbnail includes text 'I asked my wife' - Font - Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I hate it when my wife keeps telling me that “I don't get it." I mean, what does it even mean?
    via dadsaysjokes
  • 06
    21 Of The Best 'Dad Joke' Memes For Married Couples | Thumbnail includes text 'I asked my wife' - Font - Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes ... My girlfriend says if we don't get married soon, she's gonna kill me. It's a matter of wife or death.
    via dadsaysjokes
  • 07
    21 Of The Best 'Dad Joke' Memes For Married Couples | Thumbnail includes text 'I asked my wife' - Font - Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife has banned me from making any more breakfast puns. She says if I make any more I'm toast.
    via dadsaysjokes
  • 08
    21 Of The Best 'Dad Joke' Memes For Married Couples | Thumbnail includes text 'I asked my wife' - Font - Dadsaysjokes My wife just confessed that she broke my favourite lamp. I don't think I'll be able to look at her in the same light ever again.
    via dadsaysjokes
  • 09
    21 Of The Best 'Dad Joke' Memes For Married Couples | Thumbnail includes text 'I asked my wife' - Font - Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife rearranged the labels on my spice rack.. Haven't confronted her yet but the thyme is cumin.
    via dadsaysjokes
  • 10
    21 Of The Best 'Dad Joke' Memes For Married Couples | Thumbnail includes text 'I asked my wife' - Font - Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife threatened to leave me because of my obsession with wearing different clothes every half an hour. I said, "Wait, I can change."
    via dadsaysjokes
  • 11
    21 Of The Best 'Dad Joke' Memes For Married Couples | Thumbnail includes text 'I asked my wife' - Font - Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife just completed a 40 week body building program this morning. It's a baby girl and weighs 7lbs 12 oz. I am a Dad!
    via dadsaysjokes
  • 12
    21 Of The Best 'Dad Joke' Memes For Married Couples | Thumbnail includes text 'I asked my wife' - Font - Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Wife: I'm pregnant. Dad: Hi pregnant, I'm dad. Wife: No, you're not.
    via dadsaysjokes
  • 13
    21 Of The Best 'Dad Joke' Memes For Married Couples | Thumbnail includes text 'I asked my wife' - Font - Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife said, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?" I said, "Where did that come from?"
    via dadsaysjokes
  • 14
    21 Of The Best 'Dad Joke' Memes For Married Couples | Thumbnail includes text 'I asked my wife' - Font - Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife said, "I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with Tennis. I replied, "That's 15 love."
    via dadsaysjokes
  • 15
    21 Of The Best 'Dad Joke' Memes For Married Couples | Thumbnail includes text 'I asked my wife' - Font - Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife left me because of my gambling addiction. But I know I can win her back.
    via dadsaysjokes
  • 16
    21 Of The Best 'Dad Joke' Memes For Married Couples | Thumbnail includes text 'I asked my wife' - Font - Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife and I had this long pointless argument as to which vowel is the most important. I won.
    via dadsaysjokes
  • 17
    21 Of The Best 'Dad Joke' Memes For Married Couples | Thumbnail includes text 'I asked my wife' - Font - Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife thinks it's weird that I stare at the window during a heavy rainstorm. It would be a lot less weird if she'd just let me in.
    via dadsaysjokes
  • 18
    21 Of The Best 'Dad Joke' Memes For Married Couples | Thumbnail includes text 'I asked my wife' - Font - Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife said if I bought her one more stupid gift, she would burn it. So I bought her a candle.
    via dadsaysjokes
  • 19
    21 Of The Best 'Dad Joke' Memes For Married Couples | Thumbnail includes text 'I asked my wife' - Font - Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife tells me I have 2 major faults. I don't listen and something else. - ...
    via dadsaysjokes
  • 20
    21 Of The Best 'Dad Joke' Memes For Married Couples | Thumbnail includes text 'I asked my wife' - Font - Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I asked my wife if I was the only one she'd been with. She said yes, all the others had been nines and tens.
    via dadsaysjokes
  • 21
    21 Of The Best 'Dad Joke' Memes For Married Couples | Thumbnail includes text 'I asked my wife' - Rectangle - Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife traumatically ripped the blankets off me last night. But I will recover.
    via dadsaysjokes

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