'Write our reports using the language we speak at home? You got it boss': ESL teacher maliciously complies with boss's writing requirements

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    Font - 'Previously we had to write our reports in English or Chinese... Management decided that we shouldn't do this.'
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    Font - r/MaliciousCompliance u/Yingxuan1190 Write our reports using the language we speak at home? You got it boss S For background I teach English as a second language (TEFL). At the end of each semester we're required to write class reports. Previously we had to write our reports in English or Chinese so that they could be read easily by management (we're in China).
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    Font - Management decided that we shouldn't do this and instead write them "using the language you would speak at home." Cue malicious compliance: several of my colleagues are now writing reports in French, Russian, German, and Spanish.
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    Smile - English is my first language so I still write in English, however to meet my boss' request I'm now writing in British slang. Instead of writing "Class A is very good" I now write "Class A are the dogs b_s."
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    Font - For bad classes I no longer write "Class B is struggling with writing" I would write "Class B couldn't write their way out of a wet paper bag."
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    Font - My boss is now struggling but refuses to admit defeat. She's instead spending a lot of time using translation software to understand what we're writing.
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    Font - Edit: thank you for all the amazing suggestions. I've cracked up multiple times reading them. For those asking why we were told to do this. I have no idea, my best guess is they realised we could copy and paste the same simple phrases repeatedly. School administration aren't known for being useful so whenever we get a chance to have fun at their expense, we will.
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    Font - cabird78 +3 1 Award Looks like the tower of Babel has relocated to your school's management office. Yingxuan1190 OP Reply 3.7k It's great. Everyone is gleefully finding more and more obscure slang to use. For my next report I'll be writing in Scottish slang. 42.4k ...
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    Mammal - Expert-Aardvark7419 That is evil and I love it. English speaker here, just visited Scotland and sometimes I had to google a phrase to understand what I just heard.
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    Font - Guilty-Web7334 I'm a fan of telling someone who's making a bold, but stupid and ill-advised, move "If you're feeling froggy, you just go 'head and jump." Or my mom's "no f king way" response when someone makes an unreasonable demand: And people in Hwant ice water.
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    Font - edfitz83 You need to use this as an opportunity to just make up slang phrases. ... 40 Yingxuan1190 OP I'm pretty sure my colleague from Spain is doing this already. He said I'm welcome to translate whatever he writes with a big grin on his face
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    Font - HeartOfTheStorm Queen What a perfectly cromulent idea!
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    Font - Hattix "For our purposes," said the teacher some 25 years ago, "Native would mean the people a thousand years ago. So, when you go home, write a passage in your native language." The teacher then gave us some pointers on where to go and who to talk to. 1,000 years ago the area I was born in was part of the Danelaw, so I dutifully went to a museum and, with an extremely enthusiastic researcher, wrote a little about myself and my family in Old Norse. It's apparently very close to modern Ice
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    Font - Pumpkinspiciness using the language you would speak at home." Y tho? No y Yingxuan1190 OP ... Yingxuan1190 OP Reply 230 70 Pumpkinspiciness LOL, I mean, why would they require this? ← 461 Because somebody in management wanted it to sound more "authentic"
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    Font - Slight Designer8214 The principal probably meant Chinese (and not English) and got more than he/she bargained for. 19 Yingxuan1190 OP All of our IT systems are in Chinese only. It resulted in a step by step guide being produced explaining which button to press and why. I don't envy the person who had to make that guide
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    Font - Catspaw129 Oh, my! I'm thinking: This will not end well. OP seems to be teaching management British slang. For free. Reply 16 Yingxuan1190 OP British, American, Canadian, French, Russian, German, Spanish and Argentinian slang to be precise
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    Font - Combination Away2762 This has got to be one of my favorites here. OP, someone will break at some point. Please provide an update when that happens. Yingxuan1190 OP ... Reply 18 I will, looking forward to see when/if they notice

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