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'The Everglades fear this man': Florida man DGAFs his way through menacing swamps, spooking gators, booping venomous snakes, and giving everyone the heebie jeebies

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The Everglades in Florida are known to be home to some of the sketchiest, most vicious creatures in the world: crocodiles, venomous snakes, and the feisty, fabled Florida man. One Floridian in particular, a local man named Garret, has become an Internet sensation for creating videos that combine the heart-pumping fear of getting your arm ripped off by a gator with the nonchalance of a man willing to meander through the Everglades at night, poking mysterious blinking logs and swatting away vipers as if they're nothing but a pesky mosquito.

The comments speak for themselves.

u/fishingarrett

Garrett apparently has no fear of the Everglades despite its inhabitants. He wanders through knee deep swamp water with nothing but the light on his phone and he seems pretty content with it. Despite being constantly watched by the locals, Garrett chugs along, acting like the swamp puppies are harmless.

One gator in particular took a liking to Garrett and followed him up close. That's one street dog you don't want to bring home with you.

He safely evades the gator but then comes up on a road with a venomous snake simply minding his own business. Instead of leaving him alone on the road, in classic Florida man fashion, Garrett flicks the water moccasin's tail and spins him into a tizzy. The snake strikes with devastating speed and Garrett seems to be disappointed that he even tried. SMH.

Then, Garrett stumbles upon a baby crocodile, hissing and spitting at him with great mirth. 

And because the cottonmouth wasn't enough snake-age, Garrett goes on to pick up a scarlet snake, just because he can. 

To finish his video in the most ick way possible (as if any of us still wanted to visit the Everglades at night), our Florida man discovers a tropical orb weaver spider– and a hairy, juicy one at that.

Although Garrett's narration was soothing and nonchalant, the whole video gives viewers the heebie jeebies. What's amazing is that not only is he happy about wandering through a dark, wet swamp, Garrett's passion and respect for the animals is exceptionally admirable. The local love he has for beasts that non-Floridians would consider revolting is a thing of beauty. Next time we need a guide to take us through the world's most dangerous swamplands, we know who to call. 

Meet my Everglades friends

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