'Her mother had a fit': Caring father stands up for his daughter when superstitious mother refuses to pay for their child's life changing surgery because it's scheduled on her own birthday

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    Hair - Posted by u/cleansingchakra 1 day ago AITA for not rescheduling daughter's surgery?
  • 02
    Font - I'm a father with primary custody of a 13 year old daughter. She's had terrible trouble with ear infections and strep. The Dr recommended a tonsillectomy. It is not an emergency, but will improve her health as she gets older. My ex wife and I agreed to let our daughter decide. She is scared, but ultimately decided she wanted it.
  • 03
    Font - Called the ENT, and they gave me two dates. The first one was on a day she has an orthopedic appt, and the second 8 days later. We picked the latter. After I hung up, I remembered it was her mother's birthday. Our daughter said it was fine, they would be with her the day before anyway, and could celebrate then
  • 04
    Font - Her mother had a fit. She said I need to move it, because if something went wrong, it would be a bad memory on her birthday. If I don't move it, she will not pay her share, because she won't agree to it on that day. She said since it's just an elective surgery, she doesn't have to agree anymore if it's on a day she doesn't want.
  • 05
    Font - I'm leaving the date alone, as our daughter wants the extra week to prepare herself for being in pain for 2 weeks. So...am I the a-hole?
  • 06
    Font - 90sbitchiloveit - 1 day ago Partassipant [1] NTA. Mom is immature
  • 07
    Font - goldlion0806. 1 day ago While OP is totally NTA, I'm a therapist, and this is a super common superstition. You would be surprised how superstitious people are in general, let alone when fear comes in.
  • 08
    Font - OMF1G 1 day ago "super common superstition" So immature then. The mom has made it clear she cares more about the risk of a lasting memory of her child d ng in surgery on her birthday, than the fact that this will improve her child's quality of life. That is EXTREMELY immature, superstition or not.
  • 09
    Font - Speaker Delicious6315. 1 day ago Partassipant [3] I had major surgery on the anniversary of my mom's passing. I went home and promptly took a nap with my black cat. The only bad thing that happened was when my cat stepped on one of my incisions. :-)
  • 10
    Font - Aware-Victory5315 1 day ago Does the person who is having the surgery get to have any input to when the surgery is? I think that is most important here. Patient first
  • 11
    Rectangle - theladybeav 1 day ago Dad can also work with mom to find a better date. They both get a say.
  • 12
    Font - IndependentRecord35 1 day ago But when? She may have to wait months if she doesn't choose one of those two days.
  • 13
    Font - untroddenpath. 1 day ago. edited 1 day ago The mom's reason being superstition is a speculation on your part. Even if her reason is based on superstition, the mom letting her superstitious beliefs take precedence over her child's well-being sounds like a clear example of immaturity as a parent.
  • 14
    Font - CaptainCaring 1 day ago OP was given two dates and the daughter accepted the latter. The mom needs to realize that more than her stakes are at play.
  • 15
    Rectangle - Ishouldtrythat 1 day ago Why does the moms superstition have any bearing on the child's decision? Mom needs to stfu
  • 16
    Font - NightsisterMerrin87 1 day ago Partassipant [2] NTA. Mum needs to get over herself. Her daughter's health is more important than a birthday celebration.
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    Font - Anonynominous 1 day ago Right? I am trying to think of a scenario where I would want someone to not get a surgery they need on the only available date. And not because they're worried about their child's health or life being negatively after, they'll worried that their "special day" may be negatively affected if something should happen.
  • 18
    Font - LittleSalty9418 1 day ago NTA - the mom needs to grow up. Life doesn't always allow for happy memories on our birthdays and honestly the likelihood that something will go wrong is low with that surgery... the mom is only gonna stress your daughter out more
  • 19
    Font - OffCenterAnus 1 day ago She can just as easily flip in around and say to her daughter that her being healthy is the best present she could ask for.
  • 20
    Font - LittleSalty9418 1 day ago That's also a great point. The mom is being manipulative....this is a very minor surgery that should change her daughters future which sounds dramatic but being sick with ear infections and strep more often than others makes it hard to do things and she should want her daughter healthy.
  • 21
    Balloon - AITA for not rescheduling daughter's surgery?

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