'His sister will come in and "doctor up" the food I'm making': Husband and SIL refuse to stop ruining woman's dinners

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Jun 27, 2023 3:00 PM EDT

This kitchen has too many chefs. 

The secret to great cooking is following a recipe. Unless you're a super skilled chef with years of experience eyeballing your measurements and tweaking your recipes, you're gonna need a proper recipe. Everyone has different skill levels in the kitchen too, so it doesn't hurt to have a list of ingredients and steps to follow. 

This person is trying to follow their own recipes for dinners for their family. They keep making food for their kids, husband, and the SIL who lives with the family. But the OP's sister and husband seem to be teaming up to make their job impossible. 

As u/Wide_Competition9367 wrote to the r/AmItheA**hole subreddit, their are "well beyond fed up" with their food being tampered with. The ways their hubby and SIL are messing with the dishes is so foul and bizarre! The OP describes various food crimes, like the SIL adding literal blocks of blue cheese into hamburgers that aren't even done cooking yet, or her husband adding canned chicken to mac and cheese. Gross! 

These people should probably not ever be allowed around food again, because they don't seem like they're trying to be helpful. It really seems like they're sabotaging the OP's meals. Worse still, there are kids involved! Why would they dump sugar into spaghetti knowing the kids couldn't eat it? It's so strange. At least in the comments, people told the OP they're not wrong here, and suggested they kick the SIL to the curb. Or at the very least, the OP should make the food-sabotaging duo eat their own creations. 

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  • 01
    Tableware - 'They're just making your job harder by making your food inedible for your kids.'
    via Jason Briscoe on Unsplash
  • 02
    Font - AITA for screaming at my husband and his sister to get out of my kitchen? Not the A-hole My husband's sister (38) lives with us and our kids. I'm well beyond fed up with her being here because of food issues. That's the only reason.
    via u/Wide_Competition9367
  • 03
    Font - So, basically, every single time I make food his sister will come in and "doctor up" the food I'm making to her liking. Like I made steak and shrimp the other day (like Applebee's) and she waited until I left the room to put a full stick of butter in my shrimp- that was already done- and when I came back in, she goes "I'm pretty sure that's the taste you were looking for" and completely ruined it. It was trash. Or whenever I make spaghetti she will start dumping sugar in to the sauce, to
    via u/Wide_Competition9367
  • 04
    Font - Anyways, my husband has started doing the same thing. I went to make home made Mac last night and cheese burgers. I went to the basement to the chest freezer to grab the veggies I needed and when I came back upstairs, my husband was putting canned chicken in to the Mac n Cheese (he knows the kids absolutely hate the taste of that) and his sister has pushing blocks of blue cheese in to the partially cooked burgers. I asked what the f they thought they were doing (because I've told them SO
    via u/Wide_Competition9367
  • 05
    Font - The thing is, I've openly asked my SIL to cook several times and she won't. But she won't stop fing with the food I'm making. My husband cooks often and I don't care if he screws with food he makes but it royally pes me off when my cooking is messed with and he knows that. AITA?
    via u/Wide_Competition9367
  • 06
    Font - Laniekea A ΝΤΑ Aficionado [15] Especially considering they're just making your job harder by making your food inedible for your kids. Your sister-in-law has overstayed her welcome.
    via u/Laniekea
  • 07
    Font - PurpleAriadne. & 3 More Work out a policing program with your kids and make it fun! Make homemade sheriff badges and get them an air horn. Teach them what you are doing so they learn how to cook and if they want to be inventive they can add stuff with your guidance. Every time you have to leave the kitchen they are on guard and get to blow the air horn if your husband or his sister come into it, even for a drink. They
    via u/PurpleAriadne
  • 08
    Font - have lost their kitchen privileges while you are cooking because they have no integrity or respect for your work. Teach your kids those words too. If the food gets tampered with you and the kids will go out for food. Your husband and his sister get to eat whatever they f with. ed
    via u/PurpleAriadne
  • 09
    Font - I know the budget may be tight for this but I think if you did this calmly for at least 3 times the message will get across. Between Chipotle and some other of the healthier fast food options it shouldn't be too bad for the kids. If your husband complains about the waste it was his choice to be passive aggressive and not respect what you know your kids like and make it inedible in the first place.
    via u/PurpleAriadne
  • 10
    Font - If you have a good relationship with your in laws maybe you can get them on board. Even better maybe you go on a vacation just you and the kids and let the siblings figure it out on their own. 47.3K Reply Shar
    via u/PurpleAriadne
  • 11
    Font - OtherThumbs Parta pant [4] NTA. Tell them that if they hate the food so much, they need to cook for themselves, and stop cooking for these people. Get your SIL out of your home while you're at it.
    via u/OtherThumbs
  • 12
    Rectangle - ProverbialWetBlanket. Parta pant [3] NTA. When they ruin a dish, set it aside in the fridge. Then when they ask 'what's for dinner' tell them they can have whatever dish they ruined. Then take your kiddos out to eat or have takeout ready for them. EDIT: thanks for the award! 7.3k Reply Share
    via u/ProverbialWetBlanket
  • 13
    Font - LeBlancThe Deceiver. NTA, she sounds unhinged and why is your husband not only enabling her, but actively participating? They both suck, she needs to go asap and you and him need a lo talk.
    via u/LeBlancTheDeceiver
  • 14
    Font - Current-Photo2857. If they are siblings, this is probably the way their own mother cooked for them and they are trying to recreate their side of the family's meals/cook to the tastes they grew up with together, disregarding OP and her kids.
    via u/Current-Photo2857
  • 15
    Font - silly_squirrel64 Then they should make their own. OP has asked them not to do this and a lot of what they are doing is not healthy or tasty to OP and the kids!
    via u/silly_squirrel64
  • 16
    Font - TemptingPenguin369. Professor Emerita [75] NTA. The fact that your husband has joined in on this feels like they've teamed up against you. How about not making dinner? Maybe you can get takeout just for yourself and the kids for a week or so? Husband and SIL are not only insulting your cooking; they're turning your food into something the kids don't enjoy, either.
    via u/TemptingPenguin369
  • 17
    Font - alicelric And it's unhealthy. A whole stick of butter? 239 Reply Fromashination. And canned chicken? Gross. Why do they even have that in their house?
    via u/alicelric
  • 18
    Rectangle - Content-Plenty-268. A Enthusiast [6] NTA. Can you go on strike and stop cooking, and see what they do?
    via u/Content-Plenty-268
  • 19
    Font - PetitPied21 Parta pant [2] NTA who the f sugar in pasta? 896 puts OP Reply Share Wide_Competition9367 It's repulsive. I can understand a bit of sugar to mitigate the acidic properties of the sauce but my SIL puts easily 2 full cups of sugar in to the sauce. It's so sweet and disgusting.
    via u/PetitPied21
  • 20
    Human body - springandspice. Have your SIL move out. Done
    via u/springandspice
  • 21
    Font - dasunt Parta pant [1] NTA at all. But by way of explanation, I suspect your SIL and husband grew up with a different style of food, and their tastes have changed. Your "nasty" is their "good". Your "good" is their "bland". I have some family members like that - some like cakes so sweet that I feel like it hurts my teeth. On the flip side, I like saltier food than many people.
    via u/dasunt
  • 22
    Font - Wide_Competition9367 OP See, I can understand that. I love salty food (hate sweet). So I will doctor up my own plate after it's already prepared but I make sure to not ruin everyone else's food, you know?
    via u/Wide_Competition9367

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sister-in-law meal husband dinner cheese chicken family drama aita cursed food parenting gross food family funny parents
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