New parents, it's time to get your pen and notebook out, because this is a thread you'll want to pay attention to. Often we're told over and over again how to parent the right way, but sometimes knowing what the wrong thing looks like can be equally helpful. In this insightful r/AskReddit thread, parents admit to things they wish they'd done differently when their kids were young, and teachers share their observations about where troubled kids went wrong. Everyone knows that parenting is hard, messy, and anything but straightforward. At least the unintended failures of other parents can be a lesson to us all.
"Yep. People need to stop treating kids as carbon copies of their older siblings. And I say this as an eldest child who differs greatly in personality and interests from my younger sibling. It's not fair to anyone, least of all the kid who has to deal with being measured by someone else's standard. Everyone is their own person - even the twins I've known had different personalities and interests if one cared to observe." said u/UnknownCitizen77.
"As a parent with a sometimes challenging kid, I greatly appreciate this comment. I will screenshot it and save it for later. My kid has ADHD (as do I) and I've so learned the value of approaching him from where he is at in the moment." said u/dallyan.
"Holy shit. This is my mom. She was a teen mother and never owned up to regretting her decision, but it came out in her contempt for me. If I wasn't popular enough I was disappointing, but if my teacher's bragged about me she seemed annoyed, the constant comments about her body vs. mine. The contempt was in everything she did, but she would make a big show of us being besties. We haven't talked in 7 years and going NC was like coming up for air." said u/PlausibleCoconut.
"The best field anthropologist in the world is a kid watching the grownups." said u/BobMacActual.
"Different situation, but being f'ing smart made school a joke, the real world isn't school, harsh lesson learned there." said u/Drifter74.
"Yes this is super important - parents need to let their children fail and work their way through things. I had an ex whose parents removed every obstacle in his way and took care of everything for him. As an example, he was very smart and did well academically. When we had a strict teacher who gave us all bad grades on our first paper (rightfully, we had lots of room to improve) and gave us the opportunity to rewrite it, they met with her to contest the grade and made her cry. He never worked on getting better. He got to college and when he didn't immediately get all A's and thrive in every way, he had a mental breakdown. I also had to teach him basic things like how to use a can opener. I hope he's learned how to handle failure and struggle better since then, but the lack of resilience they instilled in him was just sad and harmful." said u/alp17.