'Completely unacceptable': Employee misses orientation, has to write 1000+ word essay, maliciously complies and frustrates HR

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Aug 8, 2023 8:00 AM EDT

If HR wants to treat their employees like children, then their employees have free rein to act like children. We have written about a host of ridiculous company rules here at FAIL Blog, and this "required reflective essay assignment" is the newest addition to the pile. Essentially, this employee was misinformed about the mandatory orientation during the onboarding process at his new job. Part of this came from confusing scheduling changes on behalf of HR, so it was certainly not the fault of the employee. However, he wound up missing one of the two mandatory orientation days and was completely unaware of this until a month into the job.

 

At that point, he was already settling into job responsibilities and was getting into a routine. However, HR interrupted said routine when they informed the employee that he would have to watch the recorded session he missed (totally reasonable) and then submit a 1000+ word essay that included answers to questions about the orientation (I'm sorry… what?). This set the employee off, as it reminded him of high school disciplinary action. So he took a closer look at the instructions of this "essay" and decided to enact some wordy malicious compliance.

 

There may have been a 1000-word minimum, but there was no maximum length specified. Therefore, the employee took this opportunity to write a sprawling, 12-page manifesto that would frustrate HR, though ultimately, they wouldn't be able to reprimand him in any way. After all, he did complete the assignment as instructed. The employee shared his story via this thread on Reddit's r/MaliciousCompliance subreddit. Keep scrolling below for the full story and for the best reactions in the comments section. For more stories like this, check out this post about a guy who kept getting someone else's emails and who decided to enact some petty revenge.

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  • 01
    Computer - D "You want at least 1,000 words? I can give you at least 1,000 words..." R C T 6 G Y 3000 è could, for the hot day feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure of making a daisy- chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and picking the daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her. There was nothing so very remarkable in that no much out of the ODDD
    via Super Snapper
  • 02
    Font - You want at least 1,000 words? I can give you at least 1,000 words... M OC My workplace has a mandatory two day orientation for new hires. When I was brought on, there were a bunch of scheduling issues and the dates changed several times. I got confused and only attended one of the days as I didn't realize it was a two day event. About a month after getting hired, I get an email from HR:
    via u/IcyBison13
  • 03
    Font - "Hello, Our records indicate you were not present for the first day of mandatory employee orientation. Here is the link to the event recording. Since you missed attending in person, you are additionally required to write a MINIMUM 1,000 word reflection on the most impactful session."
    via u/IcyBison13
  • 04
    Font - For some reason the minimum 1,000 word requirement made me see red. I was a fully grown adult being treated like a high schooler, made to write lines on the board because I missed class. I could understand making me watch the orientation (even though I had been doing my job just fine for 4 weeks...). But do something reasonable like some very specific fill-in-the-blank questions just to prove I watched it. A 1,000 word minimum was just gratuitous.
    via u/IcyBison13
  • 05
    Font - So I stewed over it for about a week. Then one night after a few drinks it hit me - the only requirement was that it was at least 1,000 words (along with some specific questions). I reread the email and confirmed. They did not give any instructions on a MAXIMUM length, nor any instructions on formatting or content beyond those questions.
    via u/IcyBison13
  • 06
    Font - I cracked open my laptop, found the longest presentation from the orientation, and got to work. I set about essentially writing a line-by- line transcript of a 50 minute presentation. I rambled for pages about anything from the signing of the Declaration of Independence to my favorite childhood camping trip. By the end of it my magnum opus sprawled for an impressive 12 pages. I answered each of the required questions with a single sentence and buried them randomly throughout my pages of u
    via u/IcyBison13
  • 07
    Font - I then set the font size to 8, single spaced it, and changed the font to Webdings. To ensure that HR could not just change it back to readable font or reliably use ctrl+f to find the questions, I also printed it, scanned it, and send it as an image file. The next morning, I get an angry email from HR.
    via u/IcyBison13
  • 08
    Font - "Good morning. I am informing you that your submitted reflective essay is COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE. Please re-submit it as a Word document with size 12 Times New Romans font, double- spaced. Failure to do so will result in an immediate DISCIPLINARY MEETING with the VP of HR."
    via u/IcyBison13
  • 09
    Font - I simply replied, "I apologize that I misunderstood your instructions. If you could please show me where in your original email you outlined the formatting requirements, then I will gladly re-submit it in the proper format."
    via u/IcyBison13
  • 10
    Font - I've worked at this company for almost 2 years now. I have yet to even see the VP of HR, let alone have a disciplinary meeting with him/her. I recently ran into a brand new employee who also managed to miss his orientation. According to him, HR was very specific that his response was to be NO MORE than 1,500 words in size 12 Times New Roman font.
    via u/IcyBison13
  • 11
    Font - harrywwc +3. 13 hr. ago According to him, HR was very specific that his response was to be NO MORE than 1,500 words in size 12 Times New Roman font. but nothing about it must be in 'english*'... ;) * or the local 'main' language
    via u/IcyBison13
  • 12
    Font - ChiTownBob 13 hr. ago I then set the font size to 8, single spaced it, and changed the font to Webdings. To ensure that HR could not just change it back to readable font or reliably use ctrl+f to find the questions, I also printed it, scanned it, and send it as an image file. I am imagining Palpatine in the background giving you ideas how to MC this. Good....Good...let the hate flow through you.
    via u/IcyBison13
  • 13
    Font - nostril_spiders - 12 hr. ago Hi <manager>, Due to some ambiguity in the invitation, I missed a day of orientation. I accept my own fault in this. <hr <> has set me the task of wilting an essay. From context, this appears to be a purely punitive exercise. My job description does say "and other duties as required", but this does not fit my understanding of the word "duty" as this appears to be purely punitive and of no benefit to anybody. Am I required to do this? Regards, Bison.
    via u/IcyBison13
  • 14
    Font - Icy 12 hr. ago Silver_Dragon. If I was the HR person, I'd bust up laighing, mark it as complete and go on my way. Sometimes HR people need to take a chill pill (or 100) and relax a little. A+ on your MC.
    via u/IcyBison13
  • 15
    Font - Kriegspiel1939 - 12 hr. ago How are they even allowed to require you to submit an essay. This is pettiness beyond the norm. I've quit jobs because of people like this.
    via u/IcyBison13
  • 16
    Mammal - CoderJoe1 13 hr. ago HR must want people to act like children if they treat them like children.
    via u/IcyBison13
  • 17
    Font - gpbst3 13 hr. ago When they ask for a word count change the font color to white and type random letter combos to get to the word count
    via u/IcyBison13
  • 18
    Rectangle - Icy Bison13 OP. 12 hr. ago Yeah, but that wouldn't have been half as fun!
    via u/IcyBison13

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workplace-stories employee work stories toxic-workplace job malicious compliance work essay human resources reddit thread Reddit job interview toxic-work-environment
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