'I feel like I'm justified': Dad gets roasted online for leaving son's wedding early, directly after the ceremony

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Aug 25, 2023 6:00 PM EDT

Part of having kids and being a parent is showing up for your kids and continuing to show up for them through their lives. So, when you're absent from one of the most important events in your life, what are they supposed to think? Further—when their spouse calls to let you know how much you've let your now-adult child down and you have the audacity to call your child back and declare that their spouse has a temper, don't be surprised when you get completely cut out of their life.

This post is just living proof of the fact that we're all the heroes of our own stories. We play the victim when our own anxiety, stresses, and fears take hold of us when, actually—we're responsible for how our anxiety, stress, and fear affect other people.

This father shared his experience with Reddit's popular r/AITA subreddit community, wondering whether or not he was in the wrong for leaving his son's wedding early (immediately after the ceremony), claiming it was due to his dislike "for parties and large gatherings" and seemingly forgetting that he wasn't there for himself—but for his son.

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    via Shardayyy Photography

    via: Jed Owen

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    Font - Posted by u/Medical_Comment_5527 AITA for leaving my son's wedding early? My son, Alan (26M) has just recently gotten married to Helen (25-26F). I love them both very much. It's relevant to mention that I really dislike parties and large gatherings, I'm not sociable at all and I really just dislike them. So it was kind of a downer when I heard that Alan and Helen were going to have a wedding with around 150 people. I told Alan ahead of time that I would probably leave early and that me an
    via u/Medical_Comment_5527
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    Font - rest of our family would take two cars so that they could stay if they wanted to. He looked like he didn't mind at the time. So at the wedding itself, after the ceremony I basically told him that I was glad and it looked great but I was going to go home. He asked if I was going to at least stay for cake or for food but the food didn't look all that appetizing to me so I told him I was just
    via u/Medical_Comment_5527
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    Font - going to leave. He said "alright whatever just go" and I went back to my table to get my stuff. I told my wife and she said she didn't feel comfortable driving back alone (the venue was very far from us and the roads there were not great). I said in that case she should come with me and after some hemming and hawing she agreed. So we left.
    via u/Medical_Comment_5527
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    Font - Then two days later Alan's new wife bombarded me and my wife with messages that she was disgusted with us, saying horrible things about us and insulting us as people and as parents. Really just sickening. I told her off and asked why she thought it was okay to talk to her in laws like that and she said that us leaving "ruined" the
    via u/Medical_Comment_5527
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    Font - wedding for Alan and that he was very upset for the rest of the night. She continued to berate us. I politely told her to leave us alone and called Alan, mainly to inform him that his wife had a temper that he should know about.
    via u/Medical_Comment_5527
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    Font - When we talked about it he basically started berating me too and said things like "you always do this" and "just leave me alone" before hanging up. I feel like I'm justified since I told him ahead of time that I wasn't going to stay. AITA here?
    via u/Medical_Comment_5527
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    Font - Edit since so many people care about the details: Yes there was a mother son dance planned. Yes he included me in the count for the food costs. Yes I love him. No this does not mean that I do not care about him.
    via u/Medical_Comment_5527
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    Font - CrystalQueen3000 YTA you didn't even stay for the meal that they'd paid for. What an absolutely disgusting lack of love and respect from you as a parent. You also strong armed your wife into leaving too so your son had no parents present at his reception. How you don't see that you're the AH is a mystery to me 43.5k Share
    via u/Medical_Comment_5527
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    Font - RB1327 YTA. "Leaving early" doesn't mean "not going to the reception at all," and taking your wife along with you was even worse. You need therapy for this level of antisocial behaviour, especially since you don't even seem to understand why you're in the wrong. 18.4k Share
    via u/Medical_Comment_5527
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    Rectangle - sheramom4 YTA. You missed all of the traditional wedding reception things. You didn't make a speech, your wife didn't dance with your son. He didn't have his parents there to celebrate with him, even for an hour or two. You didn't express love just a "hey you look great but I am going to leave" and then you dragged your wife with you all because you couldn't be bothered to give him two hours of your time at his WEDDING. 9.0k Share
    via u/Medical_Comment_5527
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    Font - Samael13 YTA - The fact that he's telling you "you always do this" strongly suggests that this recent blow up isn't just about the wedding, but, ignoring that, this is one of the most important days in your son's life so far, and you couldn't even be bothered to stick around for the toast? Did you make a toast to the couple? Typically the father of the groom dances with the bride and makes a toast to the couple, welcoming the bride to the family, thanking the guests for coming, and offeri
    via u/Medical_Comment_5527
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    Font - I mean, the fact that your response to the whole thing was "meh, the food didn't look that good to me, so we bailed and I took his mother with me" speaks volumes to the relationship here. If the food had looked better, you'd have stuck around? But you wouldn't stick around when your son is clearly indicating to you that he wanted you to stick around a little longer? That right there makes you 100% the AH here. 6.1k Share ●●●
    via u/Medical_Comment_5527
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    Font - PC Allaboutbird. YTA. This was your son's WEDDING day. Do you honestly have no sense of what is the expected behavior of the parents of the groom? Hint: staying through dinner is the bare minimum.
    via u/Medical_Comment_5527
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    Font - Edit: Your responses are making me so sad, because it seems like you genuinely don't care about your son's feelings at all. My own dad is very shy and introverted, and he worked so hard to put a speech together for my wedding and be friendly and sociable at the reception even though I told him he didn't have to. He said, "You've always made me proud and today I want to make you proud." I wish everyone could have such a wonderful dad. 3.9k Share
    via u/Medical_Comment_5527
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    Font - NJESQ04 YTA. A big one. You broke every single norm here. Your son didn't even get to dance with his mother because of you? And you don't get why they're mad?! 725 Share
    via u/Medical_Comment_5527
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    Font - FinnFinnFinnegan YTA get over yourself. ✩ 2.0k Share Substantial-Air3395 I don't even know why he had a child. His son's statement was very telling. OP has never been there fort him. 627 Share
    via u/Medical_Comment_5527
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    Font - lynypixie YTA My « dad » did this at my wedding. I begged him crying to stay, I didn't get a father/daughter dance. It's been 19 years and I am still not over it. We have basically no relashionship anymore. ↑ 1.9k Share
    via u/Medical_Comment_5527
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    Gesture - Beck2010 Wow. When your son stops speaking with you, remember his wedding. Oh, wait - you were barely there. Regardless, YTA. 1.3k Share
    via u/Medical_Comment_5527

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family drama aita marriage wedding drama funny wedding photos parenting family married weddings
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