Parent Admits to Daughter-In-Law She Wasn’t Invited to Family Outing Because of Her Weight

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    Font - We have done plenty of things that are not physically taxing with her, but even the small stuff she ends up on a bench half the day. We went to a small mall, half the day on the bench. It was window shopping. She is obese, her ankles are swollen from her weight. The connection between her weight and not walking far without a break is very obvious.
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  • 02
    Font - Post: I will try to keep this short. I have three girls and we still like to do girl trips for the day. My son got married to a girl named Beth. Now before her first kids she was average weight and after it got a lot worse. Her only kid is 8 years old at this point and she hasn't lost the weight. It's bad enough that she needs constant breaks walking.
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    Organism - I used to like her and now I don't due to how she acts. Everywhere we go with her it is constant complaining that she is tired. The last girls trip to the mall was spent sitting on a bench half the day since she needed constant break. If you try to leave she will go on about abandoning her. It's annoying.
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    Smile - I invited the girls to go to a farm for pumpkin patch and pick some apples. It has big orchards and a ton of walking. We went it was a great time and some pictures went on Facebook. I got a call from Beth asking why she wasn't invited. I lied saying it was just a family trip and she accused me of lying.
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  • 05
    Font - I had enough and told her the truth. I told her she wasn't invited due her weight. That she forces us to stop all the time and it ruins the trips most days since we don't get to do half the stuff. She called me a jerk and hung up.
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    Font - I am getting texts from my som saying to apologize but the girls are on my side and are sick of having trips ruined since we have to wait for her all the time. ↑ Share 15.5k 4809
  • 07
    Font - KronkLaSworda • 22h Prime Ministurd [499] "are sick of having trips ruined since we have to wait for her all the time." At the risk of being called fatphobic, good for you. ΝΤΑ Why should your trips revolve around her? Why should you be forced to plan outings that are within your DIL's step limit? Finally, you're free to only invite your actual daughters to things, too. You aren't blocking her from any and all family gatherings. She just got blocked from this one, which I hope is the firs
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  • 08
    Font - Alarming_Reply_6286. 22h Professor Emeritass [92] Personally, I would be extremely annoyed with anyone who asked why they were not invited when I just wanted to do something special with my daughters ... & then accused me of lying. Nope. I can understand your response. ΝΤΑ Beth pushed too hard so you pushed back. That's on Beth. Beth was trying to guilt you. - ETA — about the lying .... If you boldly ask someone why you were not invited to go apple picking or anyplace else in the world ..
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    Font - whoopsiedaisy63 • 21h I'm not as small as I used to be. If I know there is a lot of walking in an activity I am being invited on...l decline and say you know my knees are just not up to it. She needs to use her own common sense. MIL calls and invites her to do a 5 mile hike...she knows she can't do it...say maybe next time we can do something. MIL calls and says we are going to the mall for lunch and window shop. Say sure that's great I will join you for lunch and then leave...you know I'
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    Font - cassowary32 • 21h Partassipant [3] NTA. There needs to be balance. Beth needs to bow out of things that too physically taxing for her, use mobility aids so that she doesn't hold up the entire group and not complain when others opt not to spend most of the activity time waiting on her. When you do include her on things, hopefully you choose things that don't require much walking and when you do need to leave her, don't cave to her whining. Tell her you love her and you'll meet back up in 2
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  • 11
    Font - hiseoh8 22h ● So I recently lost 60 lbs. 40 more to go. And NTA. I can't tell you how many places I couldn't go to. How much walking I could do BEFORE I allowed my weight gain that I could no longer do. I could see how it affected things and friends and I got so mad at myself. I was embarrassed and disgusted. I had heart failure. I had pulmonary issues. I GOT OFF MY ASS AND DID SOMETHING. Now im bench pressing 50 lbs (for now), i ran a 5k over the weekend (first in 3 years). And I bike 4
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    Font - colsta1777• 22h NTA, but I would have explained nicer. Maybe frame it like you are looking out for her. Sorry didn't think you'd want to do all that waking. Last time we walked a lot, you needed lots of rest and complained the whole time. That leaves it open for her to realize her own shortcomings. And if she says she wants to go, you say ok, but we aren't taking a bunch of breaks. Reply 943

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