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"This meme has as much substance as Kanye's speech"
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"Why me, why!? Oh that's right, I drank too much that night. Lol"
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"I'm a mom soooo yeah I'm a psychic. But you already knew that"
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"Insurance companies always wanna ruin a good time"
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"Kids say the darnedest things"
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"Real"
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"Real"
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"The struggle is real"
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"We've all been there, done that."
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"Don't know if it's really worth it at this point "
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"Starting a new segment: parenting tips. What do you think?"
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"Ungrateful kids now a days need to learn money doesn't grow on trees."
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"It doesn't matter how nice you ask, they only respond to your crazy side"
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"oh the splendid joys of parenthood "
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"Now only if you can do it the moment I ask"
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"I've been waiting for this day all their life."
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"Who else does this?"
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"How is it that even with a college degree I'm still working as a maid?!"
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"The fun stage of them wanting everything they see."
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"This is what I picture. "
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"Has this ever happened to you?"
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"Fool me once shame on me. Fool me twice shame on me again."
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"The joys of motherhood "
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"For a second there I thought you were gonna give me good news."
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"Those tiny hands tho"
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