Boyfriend Discovers That His Partner's Cat Is 'The Master Of Being Petty' In The Most Hissterical Series Of Interactions
When people think of having a cat as a pet, they tend to think that it'll be easy. Cats are relatively low maintenance, cats sleep a lot, cats like to be independent. What non-cat owners don't understand is that while it is true that, for the vast majority of the time, your cats will be sleepy and lazy and independent, the rest of the time… cats will bring nothing but chaos into your lives.
Some cats are intensely intelligent, and they will use that intelligence to outsmart you. Other cats… are not so smart, but their desire for mischief will win, and they will still manage to bring madness into your lives. And other cats… are not simply intelligent or mischievous. Some cats are petty, and if you slight them in any way, they will find the best way to make your life a cat-astrophe, and you will have no choice but to face their wrath.
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"[S]he's a dilute calico, it's a rare colour variation of the calico coat. Rather than black, orange, and white, they're grey, caramel, and white (her paws, chin, belly and a stripe on the nose).
Fun fact, calicos are about 1/100 and of all calicos, only 1/100 are dilute! That's only 0.01% of all cats."
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"He didn't grow up around animals so he's always asking me questions too about what body language and meows means what. She even had him trained in only a day to shake her dish when he feeds her so she can't see the bottom. They lowkey make me jealous sometimes, not even gonna lie"
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"I like to tell myself she was cuddling me because my cramps were wild, but I'm aware she was just snuggling my heating pad."
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"Even my roommate can't do laundry properly, she always has to take over for him."
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"Lowkey looks like a beach babe... icon."
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"I got slapped immediately after for waking her."
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"Facebook irony..."
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"Now I have a man and a cat in my bed."
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"'I'll just strut in my birthday suit And let everything hang loose' - Bruno Mars, Lazy Song"
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"Let me take a freaking picture you rolly-polly little t*rd."
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"Look up 'squish that cat' on YouTube."
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"2 seconds before getting b*tch slapped while going pee. She doesn't even pay rent."
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"Mild bed head. When she eventually rolled over her cheek fluff was all squished upward. Squish face."
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"My alarm turns on my bedroom lights... She wasn't impressed."
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"Toe beans, toe beans, toe beans, toooeee beeeaans."
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"Gave her my old phone with a touch screen lock"
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