'My boss is trying to micromanage me while I'm on vacation': Boss won't leave worker alone while out of the country on leave

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Jan 5, 2024 9:00 AM EST

Nothing shows your boss how essential you are to the business like taking a vacation. If your boss or team can't handle a week without things going off the rails, then that's saying a lot. The thing is, the types of bosses who insist on being able to contact you during your "vacation" are the same bosses who try to tell you how expendable you and your role are, negging and gaslighting you to keep you in your place. It's all probably them projecting their insecurities because, deep down, they know they'd be stranded without you.

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement

  • This worker went out of the country in order to visit her family for the holidays, leaving her mother's phone number with her boss in case of an "extreme" emergency. Sure enough, this made her boss feel that she was entitled to contact the worker whenever she felt like it. This, after trying to prevent the worker from leaving on holiday in the first place, cruelly joking about how the worker “might” be able to leave before midnight on the day before they were set to leave.

  • 01
    r/antiwork Posted by u/luna-esque 7 hours ago My boss is trying to micromanage me while I'm on vacation. Huge rant incoming. I'm in another country visiting family. My phone doesn't work here, so before I left, I gave the lawyers I work for my Mom's phone number to be able to contact me in the event of an extreme emergency. Well, the lady boss - the one who employs me and the other lawyer - texted my Mom yesterday and claimed to be "worried" ( ) because I hadn't contacted her since December 29.
    via u/luna-esque
  • 02
    ... Before I left, she agreed that it was fine if I simply monitor emails periodically. But she had been trying to get me to do actual work, too, even though I told her here were issues getting set up remotely. (For some insane reason, she doesn't provide a work laptop, so I had to use my Mom's.) And in any case, the 30th and 31st were weekend days and the 1st was a holiday. She texted in the morning of the 3rd, so she only realistically gave me one day. And again, even all that aside... I'm on
    via u/luna-esque
  • 03
    I would also like to point out that she tried to stop me from leaving work the day before I left for vacation even though I had worked for 12 straight hours without a break preparing an affidavit (+ copies) that had multiple mistakes. Throughout the day she had "joked" about how I "might" be able to leave before midnight. I started work at 8:30AM. And another thing. This woman picks me apart for everything I do. She drills me about why I think the way I do, the way I speak, the way I physically
    via u/luna-esque
  • 04
    She also has issues submitting payroll on time. She gives me dirty looks too when she looks at my chest, and yes, I cover up in the workplace and wear regular business casual clothing. I have so much anxiety around her. I burst into tears yesterday just from the thought or having to see her face again next Tuesday. I know I shouldn't let her get to me, but this job has made me start to hate myself all over again. Her old assistant reached out to me a few weeks ago and said that the boss "is havi
    via u/luna-esque
  • 05
    whatever she says or does personally for the next month or so." (They're best friends. The old assistant retired.) I just... cannot. I'm sorry about whatever she's going through, but where's the grace afforded to me? I have gone through extremely challenging times too and I never once thought of it as an excuse to treat people like this. The worst part is that this woman actually seems quite nice to basically everybody else. I think that there's something about me that triggers her. I'm not sayi
    via u/luna-esque
  • 06
    more like something about my personality that just draws out whatever bad side she otherwise keeps repressed. It still makes me feel awful. Bit of a tangent now, but I've suspected for a few years now that I might be neurodivergent in some way. Maybe she's picking up on whatever my "difference" is and it's making her want to bully me. I just feel so... unravelled thanks to her and this job. I no longer know how to cope. My mental health is in an extremely bad spot right now. I've applied to othe
    via u/luna-esque
  • 07
    FiveFingers FaceSlap 7 hr. ago 7 words whenever she says something that makes you uncomfortable. "What exactly do you mean by that?” It's a good way to put her on the spot professionally. It makes her accountable for her words, especially if she's just being a bully towards you. You're taking steps in the right direction (job hunting) but do this in the mean time. Also next vacation no contact number. If she's "worried" she can call the police for a welfare check. No monitoring emails etc. Being
    via u/luna-esque
  • 08
    shell_shocked_today 6 hr. ago When I had a boss that was overreaching when on vacation, I just let them know I was going to be camping in an area with no cell coverage - regardless of whether I was staying at home or not. Vacation time was scheduled to start at 1 minute after end of business of my last day or work (one boss once tried to get me to work OT on my last day with the excuse that my vacation didn't start
    via u/luna-esque
  • 09
    till the next day) and if my last vacation day is a Friday, I include Sat and Sun as my vacation, as I had a boss once try to schedule me for an early Sat shift as I technically wasn't on vacation. Also - work devices are powered down as soon as vacation starts, and don't get checked until I vacation is over. Reply Share 171
    via u/luna-esque
  • 10
    Vargoroth 6 hr. ago . European here: why are you checking your mails? You're on holiday. You do not work. Reply Share 258 SaveMeJebus21. 6 hr. ago It's insane. Unless being on call is a paid and expected part of your job outside actual work hours, don't answer a thing Reply Share 88
    via u/luna-esque
  • 11
    RangeMoney2012. 7 hr. ago Whilst your on vacation have a good long think about if you need to go back. You might even suggest to your mum that if she phones again she might like complain to your bosses boss about what is happening to her daughter. Also join a union 219 Reply Share
    via u/luna-esque
  • 12
    luna-esque OP. 7 hr. ago My boss doesn't have a boss, unfortunately. The entire firm is just made up of myself and the two lawyers (the other lawyer is an associate and also employed by her). I would love to be in a position to not go back next week, but I unfortunately am not. Thank you for your comment, I do appreciate it. 92 Reply Share
    via u/luna-esque
  • 13
    bluesunlion 6 hr. ago . "Hello, I am out of the country from <> to <>. I will return your call or email upon return. If this is an extreme emergency, please contact ( : boss) -FIN. She's literally trying to force boundaries with you. Hold strong! ↑ 51 Reply Share
    via u/luna-esque
  • 14
    thatgreenmaid. 7 hr. ago (hugs) There comes a point where you have to ask yourself what's really important to you. Clearly it's not this job because your boss is a ...). This is a good time to take a look around at what your options are including returning home. 33 Reply Share
    via u/luna-esque
  • 15
    zanne54 6 hr. ago Ask your mother to block your boss' number, and try to enjoy the rest of your vacation. What are the power dynamics between your boss and the people she is nice to? She might be only nice to fellow lawyers and sucking up to clients, and unkind to you because, well, because you're lower on the hierarchy in the office. As for the picking you apart: deflect her and redirect back to the WORK task at hand.
    via u/luna-esque
  • 16
    I urge you to find another job as soon as humanly possible, because it's highly unprofessional to miss payroll. That & the lack of a computer for you is a huge warning sign of financial insolvency. I hope there are legal provisions against this where you live, and I would educate myself on them, if I were you. And start documenting accordingly. 25 Reply Share
    via u/luna-esque
  • 17
    Vegetable-Fix-4702 - 5 hr. ago So sorry you're being abused, and that's what it is. Some vacation. 13 ↓ Reply Share luna-esque OP. 5 hr. ago Thank you so much for saying that. I have been abused before and have thought to myself that I'm having a lot of the same emotional and physical reactions to my boss that I did with a personal abuser. I appreciate the validation. Reply Share
    via u/luna-esque
  • 18
    Head-Panic4823 - 5 hr. ago Please make sure to document all the times she's called or texted and when you return to work, submit that time to be paid. Also when she says something negative or disparaging to you at work, say "What does that have to do with work." She will get tired of you asking that question. 12 Reply Share
    via u/luna-esque

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

workplace discussion employment issues antiwork workplace-stories jobs employment-discussion job work workplace Horrible Bosses employment in the workplace
Scroll Down For The Next Article