'You're a doctor, you can afford it': Mother-In-Law Insists That Future Son-In-Law Perform His Husbandly Duties and Pay For the Extravagant Wedding

Author image for Sienna Varady
Sienna Varady
Jan 14, 2024 7:00 PM EST

Some ladies have fantasies of an extravagant wedding complete with fireworks, a delicious red velvet cake, a stunning white gown, and doves soaring overhead while the couple exchanges vows. However, other girls, are more realistic. They would want a small, modest wedding with only their closest friends in order to save money for life after the big day.

The story that follows is an account of a fiance who is sick and tired of his future mother-in-law. OP is a doctor with a stable salary, but his fiance comes from a low-income family and works as a teacher. Together, they decided that throwing a modest wedding would be the best course of action as buying a house would be a more cost-effective decision than planning a lavish wedding. While the couple is happy and at ease with their plans, OP's future mother-in-law strongly disagrees and feels that it is his duty as a husband to pamper his bride and provide her with an extravagant wedding.

So, if you're interested in learning what OP's future mother-in-law said to eventually drive him past the point of no return, read the story below! When you're done, read about the bride who, at her wedding, made her sister sit at the children's table!

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  • 01
    "You cheaped out on the engagement ring and the wedding? My daughter deserves better!"
    via Canva
  • 02
    AITA for threatening to disinvite my fiancée's mom from our wedding for saying I'm stingy and "cheaped out" on the ring and wedding?
    via u/No-Debt6328
  • 03
    I (34M) am engaged to my fiancée "Emily" (31F). Both of our families are lower class so we have to pay for the wedding by ourselves. We talked it through and I suggested we have a more chill, smaller wedding and save our money for a downpayment
    via u/No-Debt6328
  • 04
    on a bigger house. I make significantly more than her (she's a teacher and I'm a doctor) so I told her I would take care of the majority of expenses like the venue, catering, and planner if she just paid for her dress and smaller stuff like that.
    via u/No-Debt6328
  • 05
    Last week her parents hosted a party for us before the wedding and her mom kept making comments about how she can't believe how small our wedding will be or that we're not hosting it at the fancy hotel downtown that's "just so much better and elegant" than what I
    via u/No-Debt6328
  • 06
    chose. I even overheard her talking to her sister about how small the diamond is in Emily's ring and that it's embarrassing a doctor won't treat her daughter better (I spent about 5k which I thought was fair).
    via u/No-Debt6328
  • 07
    She just seemed so hung up on the fact that her daughter is marrying a doctor but the wedding/ring aren't on a "doctor level”. Based on what I know, I think she is a little embarrassed about her family's socioeconomic status, and was hoping her daughter
    via u/No-Debt6328
  • 08
    marrying a doctor would help "improve" her image to her friends and extended family. Throughout all of it Emily looked extremely embarrassed and awkward and kept trying to tell her mom it was fine and her mom just said "you need to
    via u/No-Debt6328
  • 09
    learn to stand up for yourself". This is when I just lost it and told her mom she can be uninvited from the wedding if she has so many problems with it and is embarrassed by how "cheap" I am. AITA?
    via u/No-Debt6328
  • 10
    LazyRiverDawg. 3 days ago Partassipant [1] NTA. This sounds incredibly exhausting and selfish—she's ruining the atmosphere of a special day for her daughter and for you. I hope this doesn't foreshadow how she'll be throughout your marriage. Sounds like a nightmare.
    via u/LazyRiverDawg
  • 11
    solo_throwaway254247 3 days ago. edited 3 days ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [39] Be sure to get a prenup, OP. And set clear boundaries about how much access MIL gets to you, your home, your family plus assets going forward.
    via u/solo_throwaway254247
  • 12
    So you don't get to a point where MIL sees what's yours is also hers, moves into your house and stuff like that. Or starts expecting you to now financially support her.
    via u/solo_throwaway254247
  • 13
    Also, talk to your fiancée, make sure you're on the same page when it comes to how to deal with her mum. Edited.
    via u/solo_throwaway254247
  • 14
    Capow1968. 3 days ago A hole Aficionado [14] NTA- MIL is a gold digger. Just in case your fiance supports her mother's behavior, get a prenuptial agreement. Don't let love blind you. She may have been pushed to find a
    via u/Capow1968
  • 15
    doctor to marry. The fact is she told her mom it's okay. She didn't say it was perfect and put her in her place. She may love you, but if she ever decides she's not happy with "doctor's hours," things will be a mess. I admire
    via u/Capow1968
  • 16
    your small wedding. It should be personal, not a waste of money on a big show for people who are only there for the free food and drinks. Good luck.
    via u/Capow1968
  • 17
    SilverChips 3 days ago You don't have the right to uninvited the brides mother. What does Emily want? And does Emily want just a small wedding and down-payment for a house or is her mother speaking some level of truth here about Emily's wishes?
    via u/SilverChips
  • 18
    This whole thing is a joint effort. I'd be sure on what your wife's dream is too and meet her at 70% (you know based on your income) a house can wait an extra $30k if it's your wife's dream but if it's just
    via u/SilverChips
  • 19
    a cranky MIL and Emily is 1000% on board with your cheap wedding then find tactful ways to quiet MIL and let Emily decide who comes to the wedding. In theory....NTA, but this is giving some rouge flags
    via u/SilverChips
  • 20
    cascadia1979. 3 days ago YTA but it's because you replied that way without talking it over with your fiancee first. How do you think she feels being caught in the middle of all this? While her mom's comments are appalling and deeply problematic, you've got to find it within
    via u/cascadia1979
  • 21
    yourself to keep your cool and talk with your partner about this before deciding together how to proceed. This is her mom after all, and definitely not your decision to make alone. I have to say your post suggests that you see this as a wedding you're planning on your
    via u/cascadia1979
  • 22
    own and not a joint event where your fiancée makes decisions with you even if you're taking point on the logistics. And that's a red flag too.
    via u/cascadia1979
  • 23
    Neat-Ostrich 7135 · 3 days ago Honestly, I don't know why you aren't asking FMIL, why she is being cheap and not paying for her daughter's wedding as per the tradition, especially since she wants so much input.
    via u/Neat-Ostrich 7135

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feud family drama wedding party drama relationship-drama love story reddit story family feud wedding Party mother in law love engagement Reddit engagement ring in love couple
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