'You can't keep taking advantage of me': Woman Returns All Gifts She Bought Her Best Friend’s Baby After Cutting Ties

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    AITAH for giving away my friends baby shower gifts that I got her
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    My friend (28f) has always been less fortunate than me(28f).(this is pertinent to the story) It never bothered me. I valued her friendship and I happily paid for outings and I would drive up to an hour to visit her some weeks. But throughout our friendship I always felt used. She'll call me to hang out and then
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    when I got there her car broke down and she needed someone to take her to the shops. Or she'll say she's going to pay for something and then when we get there her wallet was always missing. Small things like that.
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    Then she got pregnant and for a while we were actually very close. Because we both always wanted to be mothers and i think losing my job bonded us a little more. 3 months later I got a new job and she suddenly just stopped talking to me.
  • 05
    I think she was jealous because she's been job hunting for 4 years now. (it could be a lot of things). But I kept reaching out. Asking her about the pregnancy. When we can visit and such. She always either blew me off or responded a week later.
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    I asked her before Christmas what she wanted as a gift for 1. Christmas and 2. the baby. She wanted that Revlon curl brush hair dryer for herself and then for the baby she send me a list of things that I could choose from.
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    I bought the Revlon thing and then a few things for the baby. A lot of diapers, clothes, necessities and I bought this play thing that was a little expensive. (Please note I CAN absolutely afford it. The previous job I lost because they were bankrupt). So I had a lot of presents for
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    her. I called her before Christmas and asked what they were doing because I couldn't visit my family on Christmas day and I wanted to know if she and her bf would come over and we could do Christmas together. So she knew I was
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    alone on Christmas day. She said she and her bf where doing something with his family. I was like okay that's chilled. We can meet up in the New Year. The day after Christmas I see a lot of pics of her and her bf visiting one of his
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    friends 15 min away from where I live. I asked her like wtf? You were 15 min away and you didn't even bother to ask me if I wanted to join or to visit me. She was like oh yeah she forgot about me. We didn't really speak after that. She rocks op yesterday and calls me put of
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    the blue asking me if I wanted to go to her baby shower this Sunday. I tell her it's a little bit late notice because it's my dad's birthday on Saturday and I was planning to go there. She said my dad will understand if I leave on Sunday
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    because she needed a lift to the shower anyway and no one could take her. And she really wanted all the gifts that i bought. I asked her how long she knew about the shower. She litterly said 2 months.
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    So I said I'll think about it. Proceeded to return the hair dryer, the expensive baby play thing. And I gave away all the diapers and clothes and other things to a womens shelter. Because I decided that I'm done. With her. I messaged her that I won't be able to make it and she messaged mee back when she can expect the presents then.
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    I told her I gave het away. Proceed 10 missed calls and a lot more messages calling me a 1. And I know how she needs those things. So was I being the that. when I did
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    Lurker_the_Pip 4 hr. ago Sometimes when you need to get rid of a user... You have to burn a bridge. You did that. Good! Now you can be free of her. ΝΤΑ
  • 16
    Curious-One4595. 2 hr. ago Yes, NTA. Note that she didn't message to apologize but to abuse you. Block her. She may have little financial resources but she's even poorer in any measure of what makes a good person.
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    Winona3556 2 hr. ago You're not the alwhole for setting boundaries and prioritizing your well-being. Redirecting your generosity to a women's shelter was a positive choice. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and support.
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    Minimum-Dead561 - 1 hr. ago NTA. Finally someone with some self-respect!
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    Crafting_with_Kyky - 2 hr. ago True... there's a reason they say givers need to know their limits because takers don't have any. ΝΤΑ
  • 20
    RaceTemporary6747 · 2 hr. ago NTA. It sounds like your friend has been taking advantage of your generosity for a long time and her behavior regarding the baby shower was the final straw. It is reasonable to distance yourself from someone who consistently disregards your feelings and takes advantage of your kindness.
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    PaceNo4108 5 hr. ago I think NTA. Invited to a baby shower only because she needed a ride? That and I am sorry.
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    Heiress Goddess. 35 min. ago Agreed NTA. If this baby shower was planned 2 months in advance, why is OP only learning about it now? Even if it slipped the friend's mind, her reaction to being told 'no' says a lot.
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    pacificstarNtrees. 4 hr. ago You did so much for her and she still wanted more without giving a thought about you. So NTA, plus how awesome are you to donate all those clothes and diapers to women who would very much appreciate them!
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    Liss78 4 hr. ago ΝΤΑ The only reason she invited you was for a ride. That's a sign that she's only using you. Time to move along from that friendship.
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    calamityjane101.3 hr. ago NTA in the slightest. This is a one sided relationship. No need to waste your time, energy and money on people who only care for themselves. All you ever expected in return was compassion and her time, she showed you through her actions she doesn't care.
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    I'm disappointed on your behalf that she waited until almost the last minute to invite you to her shower because she expected you to drive her. You gave and gave until you had nothing left to give. I've been in a similar situation. Same as you, I cut the person off cold (after putting up boundaries and being told they were conditions!) and happily haven't looked back.
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    You are an amazing friend and deserve to have friendships that build you up too. I adore that you gave the nappies and clothes to a shelter, it speaks volumes to the kind hearted person you are! My motto is choose quality over quantity.
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