'So you expect me to quit?': Husband Finds Out Wife Is in Love With Her Boss, Husband Sets Ultimatum to ‘Save’ Marriage

Author image for Sienna Varady
Sienna Varady
Jan 19, 2024 8:00 AM EST

Relationships are challenging. Relationships need ongoing effort and commitment. It also doesn't get any easier with time, despite what everyone tells us. If anything, as we get older, it probably gets harder.

OP and his wife have been together for almost ten years and have two lovely children. They undoubtedly went through their fair share of highs and lows during the course of their relationship, but no matter how difficult things got, they never gave up on each other. So, despite their occasional arguments, I would say that they were a typical couple.

However, as soon as OP discovered that his wife was having an emotional affair with her boss, things quickly spiraled out of control. To avoid giving away too much, read the story below to learn how OP responded after learning the truth, whether he is still married, and whether he was able to move on from his wife's betrayal! And when you're done, check out the story about the bridezilla who has an affair with the groom's uncle here!

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • 01
    But in a few weeks she will see him again at a work outing. I still feel uneasy. I still don't 100% trust her. I still feel mad about how this all went down. I can't shake it. I want to forgive. I understand where she's coming from....
    via Canva
  • 02
    Cannot get over wife's emotional affair
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595
  • 03
    My wife Katie (38f) and I (37m) have been married over 10 years, been together way longer than that. We've had our issues over the years, but have overall been happy with no major bumps in the road. We have two younger kids, 7 and 2.
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595
  • 04
    I will preface this by saying that I have struggled my entire life with self-esteem, and self-confidence. I have a history of an ety and de ssion that have mostly gone unchecked. I do feel worthless and hopeless a good deal of the time. I've been on auto pilot for years.
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595
  • 05
    My wife got a new job recently. She works remotely for an organization that is based across the country. She has become very close with her boss, who is also located across the country and is also married. It started off being just friendly, they would message each other about work after work hours. My understanding was
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595
  • 06
    they sent each other funny things on Instagram too. She started to message him later and later into the night. I borrowed her phone one time and saw she had sent things to him like "I hope you get home safely" at the end of this message she called him a nickname that she
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595
  • 07
    used to call me a long time ago. Alarm bells starting going off in my head. Other smaller things started happening. Around Father's Day, I saw her browsing Amazon while we were in the car together. I figured it might be something she was getting me. I found out she'd
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595
  • 08
    gotten a giftcard from him. She used the gift card to buy him a few smaller personal gifts of things that he liked. I saw this in our Amazon account. She wasn't hiding it, we have the account together. When the boss was going through a tough time, she made him a
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595
  • 09
    nice music playlist with thoughtful songs in mind. You can guess how many playlists I've ever received from her ever, zero. Things just started escalating from there. She'd be up later at night messaging him. It got to the point of where I felt like the kids and I were almost getting
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595
  • 10
    abandoned by her. She'd work till 6 or 7 then spend more time on her phone after that. Anytime Id catch a glimpse it was usually him she was taking to. Eventually things escalated some more. She started sending him these selfies. It was never anything se al at all, just like silly
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595
  • 11
    playful ones. This I'd be fine with if she ever sent me anything like that during the day and she never does. She started to text him later into the night. I eventually found messages on Instagram between the two at like 2am. The messages made me feel s tty. She talked in the tone she used to
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595
  • 12
    when we first were getting together. Just super flirty, it's hard to explain. She'd send him nice things like: "I really value you as a person and I look forward to going to work and getting to talk with you each day" "you are a wonderful father the world could use more dads like
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595
  • 13
    you". She'd share something like "when I ask how you're doing, allIII I want to hear is the long version". I never hear these nice things from her anymore. It hurt so badly to see all that. He was always the first to hear good news, first to hear when she was feeling down and frustrated. I felt like second fiddle all the time.
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595
  • 14
    Eventually I talked to her about this. How I wanted the conversations with him later after work to end. The late night texting to end. I wanted her to be with us again. I was feeling burnt out because while she did do things around the house, she practically was ignoring me and the kids. I called her a bad mom
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595
  • 15
    and wife, something that definitely didn't help. One time I snooped her Instagram and she had sent him some things at 3am again. I called her out on it because I had messed her something at night, she ignored that but was on Instagram at 3. She lied to me and said she didn't send him anything. I found out she deleted
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595
  • 16
    those messages so I wouldn't start a fight. I called her out on it and left for an entire day in the car to cool off. I eventually talked with her about this too. I told her I was fed up with feeling abandoned. I told her that she was getting too close to him and was spending too much time after work talking with
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595
  • 17
    him. She told me they were "just really close friends" and that this was getting overblown by me. She said her sisters told her "there's no such thing as an emotional affair" and that I was overreacting. I blew up at her after this and said some horrible things. I blew up at her all the time, multiple days a week, just playing the victim.
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595
  • 18
    The thing was that it didn't feel sual at all between them. They didn't seem like they were sually attracted to each other. He's not very attractive. But I was really just getting fed up with how much effort and time she spent trying to make him like her. What's thrown me off as well is this guy is generally seen as an
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595
  • 19
    a ole to others but for some reason just is super friendly with my wife. I think she likes that about him. Eventually they finally met up at a work outing for the first time, it wasn't just her and him there were many people there. They didn't hook up or anything, I'm 100% sure of it. But then I
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595
  • 20
    checked her Instagram and they were up flirting with each other on there till 3am again. I called her out on that. I eventually just asked her "are you attracted to him"? She said yes. She said she would never act on anything but told me that she did feel a spark or have some sort of feelings for him. Eventually she
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595
  • 21
    spoke with him and he had said the same thing. That he had maybe felt a spark too just from being around each other in person. She admitted all this to me after I prodded her for the info. She then told me if she knew I'd be like this this far into our marriage that she may not have
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595
  • 22
    married me. I think she is fed up with how negative, immature and chaotic I've been. She told me that it was nice to talk to someone "that had their st together" and was a more stable outlet for her. I tend to get jealous when my wife has good news to share. I'm not a good support person to her. While I've been there to love and care for
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595
  • 23
    her, I haven't been there to motivate her. These were things she was getting from him. I was a cloud of negativity. She was latching on to someone that was more positive and that she liked being around. Eventually it got out of hand. I understand all this. I get where she's coming from. I haven't done
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595
  • 24
    a lot to try to fix my mental issues. And I've had them for a while. I wish instead of starting this emotional affair that she was just more honest with me from the start. Tell me the things she's not getting from me. She'd say "I don't even know what I want anymore right now". "I didn't even mean for this to happen"
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595
  • 25
    Our relationship has been very rocky since this. I've felt like leaving a few times. I know she has too. If we didn't have kids or haven't been together this long I probably would have. I started therapy a little while ago. Just to boost my self-esteem and to figure out how to love myself. Because I don't, I never
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595
  • 26
    have. I'm always all over the place. I'll be fine one day and miserable the next. I don't think she ever knew what to expect. I asked her to talk with her boss to try to keep things more professional. To tell him that she felt something with him, whatever it was. And that she was adamant about fixing our marriage and not
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595
  • 27
    losing me. This is what I have been asking her to do. She did it, it went well. I also told her that she needed to be completely honest with me from now on and that I'd leave if this escalated any further. Which she agreed to. I should be happy right? This should be a massive step toward me gaining her trust back.
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595
  • 28
    But in a few weeks she will see him again at a work outing. I still feel uneasy. I still don't 100% trust her. I still feel mad about how this all went down. I can't shake it. I want to forgive. I understand where she's coming from....
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595
  • 29
    I don't want her to quit her job, she loves it. If she had to, she'd resent me and we'd divorce anyways. I'm just struggling so badly at forgiving, cleaning the slate and everything. I have nightmares constantly about her blindsiding me with a physical affair and divorce. I am constantly a ous about what she's doing on her phone. I haven't snooped in a while, but I
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595
  • 30
    always feel the urge to. I know I just have to let go and live my own life and try not to worry about it any longer. Who cares if I get blindsided, I didn't even think we'd make it this far after everything that has gone down. She did what I asked her to do. That should've been good. But I just keep going back through everything that has
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595
  • 31
    happened the last year and still feel nauseous and angry and frustrated all the time. I don't like being second fiddle. I want to be the most important person in her life. I want to move on and get passed this. I think she wants to stay too. I don't want to break up the family because of this. Nothing
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595
  • 32
    physical even happened but this hurts just as bad I would imagine. Has anyone else here made it work after dealing with something like this? I love her so much still but I am just not getting over this whole thing very well at all. I feel like I'd be 10x worse off alone than where I'm at now. I know I want to make this work, I want to grow old with her. I want to be
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595
  • 33
    together forever. Trying to get passed this has been the most difficult thing I've had to do in my life so far. I'm scared that even if it doesn't go any further that our marriage is too far gone anyways
    via u/Alternative-Law-2595

Tags

wifey family drama boss break up relationship status affair reddit story hubby family feud relationships husband ex wife Horrible Bosses Reddit heartbreaking
Scroll Down For The Next Article