Bride Forced to Deal With Family Fallout After Family Demands Bride Include Estranged Brother-In-Law in Bridal Party

Author image for Sienna Varady
Sienna Varady
Jan 23, 2024 6:00 PM EST

A wedding celebrates the joining of two people into the matrimonial bond. During a wedding, both families can celebrate and enjoy the newest member of the family. But what happens if the wedding is not viewed as a celebration but rather as an extravagant attention-grabbing pity party?

In the story below, a frustrated bride turns to her fellow Redditors for advice. OP revealed that she and her fiancé have been preparing for their wedding for the last few months. OP was happy since everything appeared to be going well until the brother-in-law entered the picture. OP and her fiancé decided not to ask BIL to join the wedding party because he never showed excitement for the wedding and has never been very fond of the bride. However now that the wedding party has been decided upon, BIL feels left out and is making an effort to blend in. As you may have guessed by now, things quickly got out of hand, and OP is now thinking about calling off her wedding entirely! So, be sure to read the story below if you're interested in learning more about what happened. And don't forget to read this story about the husband who discovers his biological child isn't his after 5 years!

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  • 01
    1. His is brother has never liked me which leaves me unsure of his motive to want to play such a pivotal role in my wedding 2. The financial impact of having another groomsman/bridesmaid 3. Choosing whether to have an uneven bridal party or having to ask another friend to be a bridesmaid 4. Declining the role of MC, showing he is genuinely not interested in playing a supportive role in our wedding
    via Canva
  • 02
    Need Advice: Partner's Brother Wants to Join Bridal Party, but We're Unsure-Also, Politely Declining MC Duties, How to Handle?"
    via u/Jill_Sprinkles369
  • 03
    TDLR: my fiancés brother has declined role of MC and instead asked to be a groomsman, despite not being originally chosen to be a part of the bridal party when all his other siblings were. I find myself in a bit of a dilemma and would really appreciate some outside perspectives on whether I
    via u/Jill_Sprinkles369
  • 04
    might be overreacting. My partner and I are currently in the midst of our wedding planning, and recently, we finalised our bridal party. Everything has been going relatively smoothly until I had a dinner with my in-laws and my brother in-law to be this week. My fiancé and I were greeted with a frosty reception by his family,
    via u/Jill_Sprinkles369
  • 05
    ignored over dinner and denied eye contact with his mother and brother. I thought their behaviour was quite strange, and wasn't until a few days' later we have had to deal with the fallout of a decision we had made about the bridal party. Long story short, my partner's brother wasn't asked to be part of
    via u/Jill_Sprinkles369
  • 06
    the bridal party when I asked his sisters to be bridesmaids, and now I'm wondering if this makes me a potential bridezilla reacting to him now asking to be in the bridal party. We had originally thought that he would make a great MC at the wedding, given his close
    via u/Jill_Sprinkles369
  • 07
    relationship to my fiancé and the fact he does not drink alcohol. My fiancé picked his own groomsman without my input, and chose 4 of his closest friends. I had asked him whether he had considered asking his brother, and said that he had some questionable behaviour on the last wedding he was a part of.
    via u/Jill_Sprinkles369
  • 08
    A recent example is he said to my fiancé that for the last wedding he was a part of as a groomsman, the groom planned to rent some zorb and play soccer. A few weeks later, he decided to change his mind and plan a arcade game pub crawl. My fiancé's brother said to my fiancé
    via u/Jill_Sprinkles369
  • 09
    is his reaction is no longer to go to the buck's night due to a change of plans, as it wasn't something he wanted to do. My fiancé confronted him and said that he should be there to support his friend and it is not his decision how his friend should spend his
    via u/Jill_Sprinkles369
  • 10
    bucks night. He thought the fact that he didn't want to go for the reason that it didn't suit his own preferences was incredibly selfish, and reflects badly on him as a groomsman. Fast forward to now, my partner had taken that into account when choosing his bridal party, as well as
    via u/Jill_Sprinkles369
  • 11
    other questionable behaviour he has displayed in the past. He also has a distain for myself (including other women), which I mainly be due to resentment from being criminally convicted as a s x off er many years ago, and subsequently spending 1 and a half years in jail.
    via u/Jill_Sprinkles369
  • 12
    I asked my fiancés two sisters to be apart of my bridal party. We have good relationship and think would be fun and help me feel less anxious on my wedding day. They have also joined me and my fiancé on a trip to scout wedding venues early in the wedding planning process.
    via u/Jill_Sprinkles369
  • 13
    Now, back to elephant in the room, my fiancés brother had decided the role of MC and asked to be a groomsman and apart of the wedding party. My initial reaction was, it's ok, he's your brother, he can make it work, to feelings of anger and resentment for a few reasons:
    via u/Jill_Sprinkles369
  • 14
    1. His is brother has never liked me which leaves me unsure of his motive to want to play such a pivotal role in my wedding 2. The financial impact of having another groomsman/bridesmaid
    via u/Jill_Sprinkles369
  • 15
    3. Choosing whether to have an uneven bridal party or having to ask another friend to be a bridesmaid 4. Declining the role of MC, showing he is genuinely not interested in playing a supportive role in our wedding
    via u/Jill_Sprinkles369
  • 16
    To further add to the conflict, my fiancé's sisters had confided in me that is mother is mainly behind the drama, because she is upset that all of the siblings expect their brother has been asked to be apart of the bridal party. They also said that she thinks I am behind this decision, which could not be further for the truth.
    via u/Jill_Sprinkles369
  • 17
    We have also offered to retroactively have him on the bridal party, but says that he feels upset that he wasn't asked at the time of the other groomsman, some time ago. It really seems that whatever we do, he is intent on playing the 'victim' card and will not be happy either way.
    via u/Jill_Sprinkles369
  • 18
    I will also add that our wedding will only have about 40 guests, and it would seem strange that 20% of them should be in the wedding party. I have asked my friends for their advice, where the consensus is that they don't envy my position, but will make the right choice.
    via u/Jill_Sprinkles369
  • 19
    What has happened has also made me seriously reconsider to have a wedding at all, and go abroad and elope. Neither my family or my partner's family wish to contribute financially, and pushes me further away from having a traditional wedding at the costs pile up. I fear there is even more drama to come
    via u/Jill_Sprinkles369
  • 20
    from a day which is supposed to be the happiest day in our lives, and have the opportunity to quit while we are ahead before we put down any wedding deposits. Has anyone else been in a similar situation, or does anyone have advice on how to handle this delicate matter? Should I reconsider
    via u/Jill_Sprinkles369
  • 21
    our decision and find a way to include my partner's brother, or is it okay to stick with our initial choices? Thanks in advance for any insights or experiences you can share!
    via u/Jill_Sprinkles369
  • 22
    EggplantIll4927 18 hr. ago Leave the party as is and move on. As to his family? You are da ned if you do and da ned if you don't. But these are his monkeys and this is his circus. He needs to corral his mother and brother not you.
    via u/EggplantIll4927
  • 23
    Jill_Sprinkles369 OP · 17 hr. ago Yes I may need to talk my fiancé into putting down some boundaries in order to move on and leave the bridal party as is. Letting his brother pick and choose what he wants to do without any consideration for
    via u/Jill_Sprinkles369
  • 24
    the fact it isn't his wedding is just rewarding tic controlling behaviour. I'm lucky my partner has acknowledged this one is his battle to fight and has taken ownership of the consequences of his choices. I really do
    via u/Jill_Sprinkles369
  • 25
    echo the sentiment of it feeling like we are really dealing with a bunch of monkeys!
    via u/Jill_Sprinkles369
  • 26
    TraditionScary8716. 18 hr. ago How important is a wedding to you and your fiance? Honestly it sounds like the headaches and family discord are going to make this more a chore to get through than a happy occasion.
    via u/TraditionScary8716
  • 27
    If you want the wedding, leave it as is. Personally I'd save the money and headaches and elope.
    via u/TraditionScary8716
  • 28
    Dramatic-Grand8462. 18 hr. ago. edited 18 hr. ago So he's not good enough to be a groomsman and you don't trust his behavior but you want him to MC the entire event? Any questionable behavior is sure to slip out while he's providing free labor for you all night
    via u/Dramatic-Grand8462
  • 29
    with a microphone. He wasn't asked to be a groomsman because he didn't want to participate in a pub crawl for a completely unrelated person and situation? I'd give you the cold shoulder too. Also read number 1 and number 4 of your list above, a few times. Is anything clicking?
    via u/Dramatic-Grand8462

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feud family drama wedding party drama bachelorette party reddit story family feud relationships petty wedding Party love bachelor engagement Reddit in love true love
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