'My service dog isn't invited': Dog Owner Seeks Canine Advice After Being Asked to Leave Their Service Dog at Home While Attending a Party

Author image for Eleonora Bader
Eleonora Bader
Feb 16, 2024 10:00 PM EST

When you have a dog, you have so many things to take into consideration… You can't just sleep over at a friend's house, because you need to take your dog out in the morning. You can't take a vacation without organizing a doggo sitter. And if you are invited to a friend gathering or a party, you may not be able to bring your dog…

This person took to r/servicedogs after being told by friends that their service dog was not allowed to come to a party they were holding at their home. At first glance, this may seem awful. Who would demand a person leave their service dog at home? But after some reading, we have come to the conclusion that it is more complicated than that. Scroll down to read what happened, and then check out these fluffy feline memes that are pure catnip for the hooman soul.

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  • 01
    Asked to leave service dog at home SERVICE DOG
    via Canva
  • 02
    Asked to leave service dog at home Help!
    via u/221b_ee
  • 03
    Hi all, My friend is hosting a small gathering this weekend. Her boyfriend from out of town and his reactive dog will be there, and for whatever reason, they are unwilling to crate the dog in another room for the duration of the party. My friend is asking me to leave my service dog at home.
    via u/221b_ee
  • 04
    I won't d e if I don't bring him. He's an autism/mobility dog, not a seizure or diabetic alert dog. However, I won't know until the day of the party whether it'll be, like, 'it'd be nice to have him there' or 'I'll have serious challenges without him' levels of symptoms. What I'm getting at is that I could just leave him but I may really not want to.
    via u/221b_ee
  • 05
    Also, frankly, I don't know how I feel about being asked to leave him home on principle. Maybe that's me being snotty but I personally would never request that of a friend, and I'm struggling not to be a little hurt by it, to be honest. Some things to consider -
    via u/221b_ee
  • 06
    I am going to offer to host the party at my place instead, but I don't think my friend will love that idea for a long list of reasons. (I go to her place; she never comes to mine. Always been like that. I live in a dorm so I get it but yeah) Boyfriend cannot leave the reactive dog at his place because he lives out of town and is spending the night at my friend's.
    via u/221b_ee
  • 07
    My dog will lay quietly in a corner on a mat if I ask him to. Reactive dog will start a fight regardless. So they can't be together, no matter what. I could just gracefully duck out of the party but it's a board game party and there are only 4 attendees including me - a 3 person board game party kinda sucks and I would feel bad for leaving them in that situation having already RSVPed yes (before I was asked to leave my sd at home).
    via u/221b_ee
  • 08
    I considered saying I would let them know day of how I was feeling/whether or not myself AND the dog would be there, but that also feels doney for the same reasons above and with even less notice. I don't know why reactive dog can't be crated in another room but for whatever reason they've said before that that's not an option.
    via u/221b_ee
  • 09
    It's been a source of friction before, but we handled it by meeting at a restaurant or something previously - can't really do that for a 4-6 hour board game party, though. I guess I'm wondering how yall would handle this situation. I don't think there's one perfect solution, but what would you consider when making the decision of whether or not to go? Would you cancel altogether, or just suck it up and leave the dog at home? Do you have
    via u/221b_ee
  • 10
    suggestions/solutions I haven't thought about? Or how would you manage your feelings about this? Would it be childish/avoiding the problem to just say I can't make it? Thanks.
    via u/221b_ee
  • 11
    Icy Butterfly5691 - 1 day ago Likely reactive dog has kennel anxiety and may injure themselves trying to escape a crate. That's how it appears to me. ↑ 59 ↓ Reply Share 221b_ee OP - 1 day ago Probably. It's also possible that he would be reactive to even just smelling/hearing my dog in the same apartment - hes SUPER reactive,
    via u/221b_ee, u/Icy_Butterfly5691
  • 12
    apparently, but to what exact degree im not sure. Friend and Boyfriend have been kind of weird about it in the past, and honestly, I've felt annoyed about the situation, so I haven't pressed for details - didn't want to complicate things further. -40 Reply Share
    via u/221b_ee
  • 13
    direwoofs 1 day ago I want to preface this first by saying I do NOT mean this in a mean or personal way at all, it's advice that I give myself often as well: But not everything is about you, and not everything can be about you. And life will be very hard to get through if you take everything personally and center yourself in every situation. Again, I have to tell myself this a lot of the times as well, because sometimes I will also take things as purposely being done against me but in reality it
    via u/direwoods
  • 14
    I honestly feel like it's reasonable to ask you not to bring the dog over, and I personally don't know why you would even consider/want to. I'm not sure if you've been around a dog reactive dog before but the second you walk through the door with your dog, that dog is going to be insane trying to get out of the crate I'm assuming. Worst case scenario... something happens and the dog gets out, and a fight breaks out. Best case in this scenario is nothing happens but the other dog is subjected to
    via u/direwoods
  • 15
    In this case, I think it is perfectly reasonable for you to explain that you won't know how you're feeling until that day and you might have to not go if the day comes and you don't think you can go without the dog. And then when that day comes, if you feel up to it, great! If not, you sit it out. I know it sucks missing out on things but honestly it's part of having a service dog sometimes because other people have needs too and there will be times where it genuinely does not make sense to brin
    via u/direwoods
  • 16
    221b_ee OP 23 hr. ago Thank you. I really appreciate the non- judgmental way that you put this - I think it was the bucket of cold water that I needed, but I appreciate the lack of added ice cubes, so to speak, lol. I do tend to take things really personally, and I know that - that's one of the reasons I posted here. I am grateful to you and to everyone else who took the time to reply to this post with their thoughts; hearing from an unbiased outside source who was also not afraid to contradict
    via u/221b_ee
  • 17
    hoping to gain from posting this. Being a human person is so hard sometimes lol and I'm glad to be able to discuss it with others before I do something silly. ↑ 76 Reply Share
    via u/221b_ee
  • 18
    EbolaSuitLookinCute - 22 hr. ago You're being asked to leave your SD at home for the wellbeing of your dog, their dog, and all of the participants to the party. Why would you want to subject your dog to a reactive dog? It could impact your SD's opinion of working, of other dogs, and cause a wash. The reactive dog could bark the whole time, or hurt itself trying to break free of a kennel. No one would enjoy the party because of the level of stress involved. You're asking everyone, human and anima
    via u/EbolaSuitLookinCute
  • 19
    I would tell them you'll have to wait until the day of to see if you are equipped that day to handle the event, and if not, just stay home. You're taking this too personally and expecting every life in the room to put you first, and that isn't a great way to be a friend. 48 Reply Share
    via u/EbolaSuitLookinCute
  • 20
    MortalSmile8631 - 18 hr. ago Not everything in life will always go your way. Nor is it fair. You gotta remember that their home is not a public place or business. It is a private residence. If they said you can't bring your service dog, then that is that.
    via u/MortalSmile8631
  • 21
    Your options at this point would be either tough it out and go without your dog or simply not go. I understand you want to offer to host instead, but it is unreasonable for your friend to rearrange her entire plan for you. Also, you gotta ask yourself this question. Is it really worth the risk of ruining your service dog by bringing them near a reactive dog? I wouldn't want the dog to wash cause of a negative interaction. Reply Share 46
    via u/MortalSmile8631

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