'They lost the $1.2M funding too': Fired employee asked to write instruction manual for their future replacement with "zero experience," so they write it in insultingly simple terms

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Apr 16, 2024 10:00 AM EDT

In writing, both for entertainment and for technical purposes, it's important that your reader be able to comprehend the meaning of your words. For example, if you happen to be writing a snazzy and engaging introduction to a discussion about a story that someone shared online, it would be foolish to begin using words that your reader is likely not to understand. In fact, it would be perspicacious for the author to eschew using a myriad of archaic verbiage that obfuscates the meaning of what they're trying to portray to their audience. 

Of course, as with everything in life, there's a balance to be struck, and it's easy to go too far in the other direction to a point where your writing begins sounding like one of those books you read in the first grade… The writer writes well. The writer writes good words. People enjoy reading the writer's words. The writer's words are easy to read. Yeah, you get tired of it pretty quickly. Like I said, there's a balance.

Well, when the survival of your company is dependent on a bunch of descriptive words that other people can read and comprehend in order to replicate essential processes or procedures, it's important that the line of simplistic yet descriptive be tread very carefully. 

When this worker was asked to write a technical instruction manual for the role that they were being fired from, the stipulation was that it be written at a level that someone with "zero experience" could understand. They decided to write it at such an insultingly simple level that it probably wouldn't be all that helpful to anyone at all. Hey, at least they tried… Right?

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  • 01
    My previous workplace was an NGO hired me to do what was deemed an impossible task, reaching to and gaining the support of several groups that are notoriously difficult to recruit. It was a pretty critical point, with over 1.2m$ funding depending on it. Not to brag, but this is something I am actually expert in - one of very few in my country.
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  • 02
    I got to work, and used some pretty unorthodox methods. Initially management seemed to be fine with it, since it proved extremely effective. Within 8 months, the organization moved from being irrelevant at best, to having a small army of volunteers, active groups and vocal ambassadors, and gained a reputation for being the most radical and interesting player on the scene.
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  • 03
    The thing is, this success was because I was there to cover for the organization's irrelevance. As long as they don't implement some deeper changes, this is as good as it will get. Except nobody seemed very interested at implementing any deeper changes. In fact, they began doing increasingly more problematic stuff (think public racist comments by staff members), making it harder and harder to maintain the support. I kept raising the alarm that this will not end well - and at some point, this ann
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  • 04
    I pointed out to my manager that, if they don't want to lose all of the work, they'll at least have to recruit someone with similar experience - which is going. to be very difficult to do (again, very few experts on this). In response, my manager demanded that I write down a document for my future replacement, and, specifically, that I make it so a person with absolutely zero previous knowledge could understand it.
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  • 05
    Zero knowledge, you say? Alright. I sat down and wrote an extensive document... Which included nothing but the most obvious, basic and offensively unhelpful information ("No, you cannot call people <<slur>>. No, not even when they aren't present"), phrased as if it was written for a 3rd grader. If they hire someone competent, they won't need that document anyway. If they hire someone clueless - well, they'll probably be able to understand it.
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  • 06
    I ended my employment there in September, but stayed in touch with some of my former crew. By the end of November, half the volunteers I recruited dropped out. The 200+ people involved in one of the flagship projects just stopped showing up. The assistance network stopped responding altogether. An attempt was made to continue one of the other long-running projects, but since they didn't know how or why it worked, it flopped gloriously and stopped running
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  • 07
    after one more session. The annual fundraiser I started failed to have any relevance when they attempted to copy it this December, and only 7 people showed up. Three of the groups decided to exit and operate under a different host, after also going public about the management being both out-of-touch and abusive. Oh. As of today, it seems like they lost the 1.2m$ funding, too.
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  • 08
    Bouncy BlueYoshi • 10h ago . Honestly, I'd have written it for an 8-year-old too. Vote Reply ↑ Share Adiantum-Veneris OP 10h ago . The worst part is that I based all of the very specific comments of this sort on real situations. So it's not like they didn't need that part, really. Vote Reply ↑ Share
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  • 09
    9010 TJamesV 8h ago . Wow, talk about manglement. You gotta be seriously out of touch to see a successful project, poison it with bad PR and then fire the expert behind it for raising concerns. Then to have the nerve and ignorance to ask said expert to write a cheat sheet for dummies to handle this huge, complicated and high-stakes project. As if a new hire with a tutorial can replace the expert. Vote Reply ↑ Share Acinixys . 3h ago Sounds like every middle manager or out of touch business owner
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  • 10
    ecp001 5h ago • Once hearing "You're fired", or the equivalent, anything that happens is not your fing problem. Just grab your personal stuff and leave. Deadlines, open commitments, and pending responses are someone else's responsibility, even if that person hasn't been hired yet. Management can create situations where, surprisingly, does flow uphill. Vote Reply ↑ Share Adiantum-Veneris OP 3h ago • I tried to maintain a level of professionalism... At least superficially. ↑ Vote ⇓ Reply ↑ Share
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  • 11
    Extreme-Slice-1010 5h ago What's the point of helping them out when you were fired? > ↑ Vote Reply ↑ Share Adiantum-Veneris OP 4h ago • I wasn't. I was calling them out for their incompetence that I've been covering for. ↑ Vote Reply ↑ Share
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  • 12
    lanDOsmond • 3h ago So you wrote it on a third grade level, but it was too advanced for them... Ө Vote Reply ↑ Share Adiantum-Veneris OP 3h ago • I was honestly baffled by how fast they managed to crash. I was expecting it to take much, much longer. ✰ Vote Reply ↑ Share
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  • 13
    NecroAssssin • 8h ago "First, create a universe where normal matter beats out antimatter. Set to cool for 500Million years." Vote 5 ↑ Share
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  • 14
    . NightMgr 9h ago Start with a picture of an apple and the letter A- not to be confused by the letter a. Vote ↓ ↑ Share 도
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  • 15
    TJamesV . 8h ago Wow, talk about manglement. You gotta be seriously out of touch to see a successful project, poison it with bad PR and then fire the expert behind it for raising concerns. Then to have the nerve and ignorance to ask said expert to write a cheat sheet for dummies to handle this huge, complicated and high-stakes project. As if a new hire with a tutorial can replace the expert. ✰ Vote ⇓ 도 C ↑ Share
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  • 16
    ecp001 . 5h ago Once hearing "You're fired", or the equivalent, anything that happens is not your fing problem. Just grab your personal stuff and leave. Deadlines, open commitments, and pending responses are someone else's responsibility, even if that person hasn't been hired yet. Management can create situations where, surprisingly, does flow uphill. ✰ Vote C ↑ Share
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  • 17
    Coder Joel 9h ago You tried. • ↑ Vote 도 ↑ Share
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  • 18
    Extreme-Slice-1010 5h ago . What's the point of helping them out when you were fired? ✰ Vote 도 ↑ Share
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  • 19
    PoliteCanadian2 • 7h ago Why did you do ANYTHING after they fired you? Vote [ ↑ Share 0
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employment job fired jobs work workplace technical difficulties getting fired malicious compliance workplace-stories workplace discussion in the workplace workplace malicious compliance
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