'I sold him a plate of onions for $3': Entitled customer leaves typed note to pizza chef demanding no cheese or tomatoes

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    "Absolutely positively no cheese under any circumstances"
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    r/KitchenConfidential Posted by u/DoctorMc 18 hours ago A very real note passed to me by a customer at my *pizza* restaurant
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    Dear Waiter, Waitress, Cook or Chef: Hello, my name is but my friends call me Onion, that's my nickname. Please read this carefully before we begin the food ordering or preparation process. I have some VERY specific food requirements due to my psycho sematic food neurosis or PSFN. To make my dining, and your work experience, more tolerable please read and follow the following VERY SPECIFIC requests regarding my food and its preparation. #1 ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY NO CHEESE on my food under ANY CIR
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    #2 ABSOLUTELY NO PORK CHOPS...... Please don't serve me, or even suggest, any pork chops. I had a VERY NASTY experience with pork chops that caused me to have a ganreous gall bladder. Please avoid pork chops at all costs..... they will cause what my friends & family call "CODE BROWN" which is an immediate explosive dic event that you don't want here in your establishment.
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    #3 NO TOMATOES..... Please do not serve me any type of tomatoes or even give me any food that has come in contact with tomatoes. These will cause another food neurosis fueled event that no one wants to see. Please, for everyone's sake, don't give me any tomatoes or food that has touched tomatoes.
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    #4 I LOVE ONIONS..... That's why my nickname is Onion. If I order a sandwich please only put bread, meat and lots of onions on it..... that's all I want. And remember....... NO CHEESE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES...... NO CHEESE. Thanks for taking the time to read this and come to an understanding of my psycho sematic food neurosis. By complying with my very specific food requirements you will insure all of us will have a much more pleasant dining experience. You will also boost your chances of a big
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    FarFigNewton007. 18 hr. ago No tomatoes and no cheese. Sir, this is a pizza restaurant. Tasty things with tomatoes and cheese is what we do. 3.7k Reply Share
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    Scottcmms2023 18 hr. ago Ok I'd simply tell them we can't serve him. 3.0k Reply Share
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    DoctorMcTits OP. 18 hr. ago I sold him a plate of onions for $3. 2.6k Reply
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    bromeranian · 18 hr. ago • Like one could be normal and say 'Hey, I have a taste and texture aversion to cheese and tomatoes. I really like onions though and most meats except pork are fine. Could you help me figure out something to order?' Or you could make up a bunch of words and have your waiter, the cooks, the entire group chat, and God read this and roll His eyes.
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    Be nice while ordering and I promise people won't think you're an AH, weirdo, or dumbass!! Be like this and they're gonna bring you up at every 'hey remember that customer' for years to come!! (And to top it all off, spell psychosomatic right holy !) 2.3k Reply Share
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    Consistent Dress_571. 17 hr. ago I'd be telling him to go elsewhere. You're threatening "explosive " at the sight of something that might have touched tomatoes 420 Reply Share
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    • jamesinboise 17 hr. ago . edited 17 hr. ago Psychosomatic food neurosis..... Literally saying it's all made up in their head Edited: Changed her to their... 319 Reply Share
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    shemonstaaa 17 hr. ago • Threatening to in a pizza place is wild 234 Reply Share
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    Charles DickensABox. 18 hr. ago Only slightly less ridiculous than asking for no carbs at a pizza place. 219 Reply Share
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    . skippy920 17 hr. ago What kind of person would make something like that up, then spell psychosomatic wrong? 185 Reply Share
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    Puzzleheaded_Sea_851. 17 hr. ago Is that threatening in some ways or am I just tired? 116 Reply Share

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