BREAKING NEWS: Katy Perry Grows Old, Still Sucks

Behold Katy Perry's new video for "The One That Got Away," the sixth single taken from her never-ending "Teenage Dream" album. She spends about half of the video made-up to look like an old woman and the other half looking exactly like that chick from "New Girl." Some other highlights: -- Crying while not wearing pants in a closet? (STORY OF MY LIFE!!!) -- Her boyfriend, Diego Luna, sketches a really ugly portrait of her? -- I am reminded of both "The Notebook" and the dream sequence from "Romy and Michele's High School Reunion" where they are bitter old women??? -- Um, Johnny Cash is playing??? -- Katy, Diego didn't "leave you to love another." He died. That's kind of a big difference???????? In summation: ???????????????????????????