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14 Funny Twitter Moments to Keep the Afternoon Work Grind Rolling

The comedians of Twitter never fail to deliver. 

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  • 1
    Text - David Hughes @david8hughes [wife drops me at the airport] Wife: have a safe flight Me: I have no say in the matter Wife [already driving off]: die then 12:32 AM Sep 6, 2016 L 16,657 83 27,727
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  • 2
    Cat - kelly oxford @kellyoxford Follow 7yr old: Wait! Do animals make babies the same way people do?? Me: Yes. 7yr old, mutters: Oh my god. 9:39 PM-28 Nov 2015 229 859
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  • 3
    Water - Lukas Thoms Follow @LukasThoms no twitter drama will ever compare to my own father subtweeting me into the ground Thomas Thoms Follow @papathoms If two out of three of your children remember your birthday. Is the glass 2/3 full or 1/3 empty
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  • 4
    Text - It was princess day at dance and one little girl came as a hot dog I have never admired someone more. 8:41 AM- 10 Jul 2016 59 Retweets 104 Likes
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  • 5
    Text - Frank Whitehouse @WheelTod [Funeral] Me: "Do you mind if I say a word?" Widow: "Please do" Me "clears throat: "Plethora!" Widow: "Thank you. That means a lot." 11:01 AM - Sep 3, 2017 t727 26 1,935
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  • 6
    Text - When you ask a 1st grade class to write letters to people in a nursing home... times allmmost P 5:55 PM-9 Sep 2016 66,833 Retweets 110,178 Likes
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  • 7
    Tragic Ally Follow TragicAllyHere My kid: Do sharks have ears? Where are their ears? Me: Hmm, I don't know? Why? My kid: (shrugs) Later I find: 8:44 AM-30 Aug 2016
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  • 8
    Text - Zola. Zo. Zoey @_zolarmoon Plot twist: A woman's top 3 tactics to ignore strange men 1. Walk fast 2. Earphones on whilst walking fast 3. Bad attitude to strangers SHASHA @lamCos_ZA Why some women are single: 1. They Walk fast. 2. Earphones on whilst walking or chilling. 3. Bad attitude.
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  • 9
    Text - andrew chamings @AndrewChamings [shark tank] me: ridiculously wide sunglasses shark 1: i'm out shark 2: i'm out hammerhead shark: i'm listening 1:34 PM Sep 1, 2017 t 19,645 117 77,520
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  • 10
    Text - y.a.b.k.a.t @ohen39 wife: I am having an affair me: *handing menu back to waiter* I'll have the affair as well 9:27 AM - Jul 20, 2017 tl 33,096 100,359 106
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  • 11
    Product - Follow GAstrxoworld LMAO MY BABY SISTERS BAG 8:06 PM-28 Jan 2016 24,427 Retweets 28,190 Likes
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  • 12
    Orange - My sister is quite the speller Cum in her it 15 Fun 1:30 PM-7 Feb 2016 65,037 Retweets 104,429 Likes
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  • 13
    Room - @AyelayOhh Daddy From The East @White Codeine My neighbor keeps vacuuming his when Im sleeping at night. I started vacuuming the ceiling as he sleeps at 3am 6:33 PM - Apr 5, 2016 t 17,598 101 16,481
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  • 14
    Text - kel @baddiekel imagine having sex and he says "say my name baby" but his name is gilbert 1:11 AM Sep 1, 2017 t 22,694 1,043 91,382
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