‘I now have no money for the mandatory Christmas dinner that will cost, I don't even know how much’: Manager tells new hire she has to pay for "mandatory motivational activities," draining her account after getting her first paycheck

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Nov 29, 2025 6:00 PM EST

Office "culture" sounds cute until it starts looking like a subscription service. This place has basically turned December into a pay-to-play festival. Matching pajama day, but you have to buy the pants. Mandatory Christmas dinner, but off the clock and probably not covered. Daily "motivational" events, funded by a cash pot everyone is expected to throw money into like it is a team-building tithe.

The fresh worker is sitting there with one full-time paycheck, about a hundred bucks left after rent and bills, and management is talking like twenty dollars for novelty pajamas is no big deal. Then comes the guilt layer. If you do not contribute, you should not eat at the potluck. If you do not "appreciate" the activities, you can go browse job ads. Nothing says we are a family like threatening to replace you over a casserole you could not afford.

There is nothing wrong with liking goofy holiday stuff. There is a lot wrong with acting like participation is a moral test when people are doing math in their heads every time someone says fun idea. If an office wants mandatory motivation, the office can pay for it.

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  • Manager said we need to pay for "mandatory motivational activities."

    A stressed woman rests her head on her crossed arms at a white desk, staring at a 5 dollar bill while a bold text quote fills the top of the image."My manager said anyone who didn't want to participate could 'go look on Indeed: there's thousands of jobs on there!"" C62039488L
    via Karola G

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The really wild part is how quietly humiliating it gets. Card declines on potluck food, a senior says it is fine, but the worker has already watched others get side-eyed for not bringing anything. So now every event is a choice between going hungry at the table or going broke trying not to look selfish. All so management can brag about team spirit in a meeting. Sounds like a dream workplace, doesn’t it?

  • I am new to this office. I have just finished my first month here, however I have been working for this company for just over a year now, with that first year happening at a different office.
    via ArghSuits
  • Exact same work, just a different building and different coworkers. This is also the only "office" job I've ever had, and I'm fairly young (25F).
    via ArghSuits
  • I have no idea if my feelings over this are rational or make sense. Maybe I'm just not used to the office vibe/culture?
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  • My manager had a meeting with everyone in our office today. It was about reflecting on this previous month and looking forward to the next one - standard stuff.
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  • frustrated woman with curly hair holds her head in her hands, staring at a single 5 dollar bill on a blank white table beneath her.
    via Karola G

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Since Thanksgiving is coming up, they've had two potlucks, one this week, one last week. All of the communication for this is through a work group chat I'm not in or is in person, usually just "hey we're doing this!" And that's okay!
    via ArghSuits
  • I asked if I could join the group chat so hopefully that alleviates some issues, but what was said during this meeting kind of rubbed me the wrong way.
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  • Basically, with December/Christmas coming up, there's 3 big things the office wants to do. 1) Pajama Day, where we all wear matching pajama pants and potentially matching shirts.
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  • We were asked pant size today. Apparently, as I learned about in the meeting, everyone will need to pay $20 for the pj pants.
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  • Okay...I don't really want to just drop $20 on pj pants we're allowed to wear for 1 4-hour work day (Christmas Eve, so it's a half day).
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  • A stressed woman rests her head on her crossed arms at a white desk, staring at a small amount of cash
    via Karola G

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 2) There's a mandatory christmas dinner during the middle of december. It's at 6pm (outside of work hours) and I'm not even sure if it's at the office or at a restaurant or what (manager mentioned a reservation).
    via ArghSuits
  • I do not know how much I will need to pay for this, but I assume it's probably not covered and I'll need to pay something.
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  • Manager said it is mandatory. All will have to attend we will need to contact her with specifics if, for some reason, we cannot/might not be able to make it to "work something out." 3) Unlike november, where they had two potlucks, they want to do something every single day leading up to Christmas.
    via ArghSuits
  • "These are to help motivate and build up our team spirit and cooperation!" I do not know how much money this will cost, but....my manager said "We all get paid the same and I know we all get paid on \ [next pay day\].
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  • We're going to put together a pot where everyone will contribute so whoever is coordinating can just take money out of there instead of covering it themselves." Personal finances are tight.
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  • I was previously working part-time in this company and making maybe 20-25k a year. I am now at 42k, but I have only received 1 paycheck so far, and budgeting it out, I have about $100 left over from my paychecks after all necessities are pair for (rent, groceries, bills, car insurance, etc).
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  • I do not want to spend $20 on pjs and however much money towards a group pot or mandatory dinner when I've only got enough wiggle room for $100 per paycheck.
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  • I can technically afford it, but any surprise expense more than $5 would take whatever money I had remaining.
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  • I mean, if it's mandatory to go to the Christmas dinner, and I've got $50 set aside for it, and then bam I need to pay a doctor's office copay, I now have no money for the mandatory Christmas dinner that will cost I don't even know how much.
    via ArghSuits
  • But maybe this is just office culture? During the meeting, one of the main event organizers mentioned that if you weren't contributing to the potluck/an event, you shouldn't participate and we should "stop being so greedy." I understand her sentiment; if I organized a potluck and 3 people ate food from it that didn't bring anything, I'd be upset!
    via ArghSuits
  • But it's also under this pressure of "motivation" that's mandatory for everyone. I was asked to bring food yesterday for the potluck today.
    via ArghSuits
  • I have less than $5 in my checking account, and less in my savings. I told one of the seniors my card declined when I tried to purchase the food I was asked to bring, and she said it was okay and to not worry.
    via ArghSuits
  • But was it okay? Because now what was supposed to be a welcoming and bonding potluck is "well, I could not afford to bring food to this event, and I don't want to eat, but I will absolutely be judged if I don't participate (because I saw them get judged/teased)." I don't want to be greedy.
    via ArghSuits
  • I don't want to leave a bad impression. But I also can't afford to drop $40+ dollars a month on mandatory work events.
    via ArghSuits
  • My manager said anyone who didn't want to participate or appreciate could "go look on Indeed; there's thousands of jobs on there!
    via ArghSuits
  • If you want us to look at your resume you can ask us." I just don't know what to do.
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  • It's money I do not feel comfortable spending. But I also don't feel comfortable not participating; everyone is expected to, some events are just outright mandatory, and if I don't participate I should just find another job apparently??
    via ArghSuits
  • I don't know. My old office wasn't like this at all. We did secret santa for Christmas, but that was optional and felt much less intense/high-stakes than this.
    via ArghSuits
  • Am I overreacting? Maybe it's stupid but I really don't know. Any advice would be helpful.
    via ArghSuits

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management terrible coworkers workplace discussion employment issues boss workplace-stories hr manager bosses work coworkers colleague managers supervisor workplace Horrible Bosses work-life balance
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