24 Geeky Puns and Jokes That Only True Nerds Will Find Funny

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  • 01
    A BIOLOGIST, A CHEMIST, AND A STATISTICIAN ARE OUT HUNTING. THE BIOLOGIST SHOOTS AT A DEER AND MISSES 5FT TO THE LEFT, THE CHEMIST TAKES A SHOT AND MISSES 5FT TO THE RIGHT, THE STATISTICIAN YELLS "WE GOT 'EM!"
  • 02
    TWO KITTENS ON A SLOPED ROOF WHICH ONE SLIDES OFF FIRST? THE ONE WITH THE LOWEST MEW.
  • 03
    HOW MANY SURREALISTS DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHT BULB? A FISH.
  • 04
    THE FIRST RULE OF TAUTOLOGY CLUB IS THE FIRST RULE OF TAUTOLOGY CLUB.
  • 05
    WHAT DO YOU CALL TWO CROWS ON A BRANCH? ATTEMPTED MURDER.
  • 06
    WHY CAN'T YOU TRUST ATOMS? BECAUSE THEY MAKE UP EVERYTHING!
  • 07
    WHAT IS A PHYSICIST'S FAVORITE FOOD? FISSION CHIPS.
  • 08
    YOUR MOTHER IS SO CLASSLESS, SHE COULD BE A MARXIST UTOPIA.
  • 09
    WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU PUT ROOT BEER IN A SQUARE GLASS? BEER.
  • 10
    SCHRÖDINGER'S CAT WALKS INTO A BAR AND DOESN'T.
  • 11
    WHAT'S ANOTHER NAME FOR SANTA'S ELVES? SUBORDINATE CLAUSES.
  • 12
    DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE MAN WHO GOT COOLED TO ABSOLUTE ZERO? HE'S OK NOW.
  • 13
    DESCARTES WALKS INTO A BAR. THE BARTENDER ASKS IF HE WANTS A DRINKS. "I THINK NOT," DESCARTES SAYS. AND THEN HE DISAPPEARS.
  • 14
    WHY DID KARL MARX DISLIKE EARL GREY TEA? BECAUSE ALL PROPER TEA IS THEFT.
  • 15
    IT'S HARD TO EXPLAIN PUNS TO KLEPTOMANIACS BECAUSE THEY ALWAYS TAKE THINGS LITERALLY.
  • 16
    SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM BATMAN!
  • 17
    THERE'S A BAND CALLED 1023MB. THEY HAVEN'T HAD ANY GIGS YET.
  • 18
    WHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN YOU'RE COMFORTING A GRAMMAR NAZI? THERE, THEIR, THEY'RE...
  • 19
    WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A JOKE WITH A RHETORICAL QUESTION?
  • 20
    WHEN I WAS A KID, MY ENGLISH TEACHER LOOKED MY WAY AND SAID, "NAME TWO PRONOUNS." I SAID, "WHO, ME?"
  • 21
    A PHOTON CHECKS INTO A HOTEL AND THE BELLHOP ASKS HIM IF HE HAS ANY LUGGAGE. THE PHOTON REPLIES "NO I'M TRAVELING LIGHT"
  • 22
    KNOCK KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? TO. TO WHO? NO, TO WHOM.
  • 23
    THE PAST, THE PRESENT, AND THE FUTURE WALKED INTO A BAR. IT WAS TENSE.
  • 24
    HELIUM WALKS INTO A BAR AND ORDERS A BEER, THE BARTENDER SAYS, "SORRY, WE DON'T SERVE NOBLE GASES HERE." HE DOESN'T REACT.
  • 25
    THEY SAY A FREUDIAN SLIP IS WHEN YOU SAY ONE THING, BUT YOU REALLY MEAN YOUR MOTHER.
  • 26
    C, E FLAT, AND G WALK INTO A BAR. THE BARTENDER SAYS, "SORRY, NO MINORS"

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