Meet Raja, the love of my life, my canine daughter, and the biggest source of my anxiety. I adopted her when she was only 10 weeks old, when she was all fluff, ears, and belly. And oh man, she had the cutest puppy belly of all puppy bellies to have ever existed. She looked pregnant. As she grew up, I started to see signs of reactivity. So, I did what every responsible dog owner should do, and I called a trainer. He was a good trainer, but he was not the right trainer for Raja. All of the advice he gave us was not wrong, but it didn't really help. She didn't need to be exercised more. She needed to be stimulated less, but in the right way. Learning to trust my instincts, listen to what Raja was trying to tell me, and not follow the advice of “professionals” was my first challenge. She knew what she wanted and needed, but I failed to listen.
There are the obvious challenges of being a dog owner, like the daily training. The exercise, the morning, afternoon, and evening walk. It's hours out of your day. But there's the human problem again - if you're not prepared to spend hours a day bonding with your dog on their walks and doing daily training, then you should seriously reconsider getting a dog. Or, get a dog breed that is very lazy and doesn't need much exercise. However, all dogs need training. Yes, even the tiny ones. The tiny ones especially. There's a reason why Chihuahuas have such a bad reputation (because people don't train them, and then they become menaces to society).
So far, we've only talked about the times when you're physically with your dog. Something you never think about beforehand is what to do with your dog when you're not there. Spontaneous vacations become a thing of the past once you're a dog dad/mom. If you have a normal dog, you can probably get away with giving them to your family for the weekend, or getting them set up at a doggie hotel. For us, though, none of those options work. Raja needs the care of a professional, someone who understands her triggers, her anxiety, and how to deal with her. We can't just ask a friend to look after her - it wouldn't be safe for Raja or the friend. In this case, we have to send her to a boarding facility where she gets special care. She gets her own private space, her own personal time with licensed trainers to play with her, and care 24/7. Needless to say, it's not cheap, but it's worth it. But it's not her fault, nor is it ours, it's just he way it is.
I can honestly say that Raja is one of the best dogs I've ever had. In her entire puppyhood, she only chewed up one wire. She hasn't destroyed any furniture, eaten anything off the counters, or run away. But I had to learn how to communicate with her. This was my biggest challenge. I tried to treat her like a “normal dog” for too long. I forced her to walk different paths because I thought he would enjoy exploring new areas, when in reality, she likes the routine of her daily walk. I probably tried to cuddle with her too much, instead of reading her body language and listening to when she wanted space. Not every dog likes to be touched all the time. The hardest part was that I got Raja because I wanted a snuggle buddy. I wanted someone who wanted me to pet them 24/7. Again, she knew what she wanted; it was my fault for not listening.
And then we get to the part that no one likes to talk about - the part where we have to live on without them. Their lives are but a fraction of ours, but we carry them with us in our hearts. The grief of losing a dog is like nothing you've ever experienced. You suddenly come home to a quiet house, with no happy dances upon arrival, no kisses to say hello, no craziness when the doorbell rings, no more hair on the couch, and it just feels empty. Not only does your house feel empty, but so does your heart. The hardest part of being a dog owner isn't getting them to focus on walks, stopping them from eating random trash on the ground, or figuring out how to take a vacation without breaking the bank, or dealing with their triggers from other dogs; it's losing them. It's living with their memory while you are forced to keep on living.
Raja has never been the problem. I was the problem. I needed to learn how to communicate with her. I had to learn to listen. I have to pay for her care while I'm not around. I have to learn how to deal with the grief of her getting older, and not wanting to chase the ball anymore. But if that is the price for giving her the best life I pawssibly can, then so be it.
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