‘You’re insecure’: Woman Dumps Boyfriend After Overhearing Him Tell His Friend ‘Hot Girls With Insecurities Will Do Anything For You’

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    • r/AITAH 5 days ago [deleted] AITAH for dumping my boyfriend after I overheard what he said about me?
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    On Friday my boyfriend (25M) and I (23F) attended a mutual friend's themed dinner party. We had a good time and the night went by without any problems. I spent most of the time with my female friends and my bf was hanging out with his buddies.
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    Towards the end I went outside to chat with someone and then went back in to look for my bf whom I hadn't seen in a while.
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    I walked past the guest room and immediately heard my bf talking to his best friend. I could tell they were talking about me so yes | stopped and listened out of sheer curiosity. (Whether you want to debate the ethics of that is up to you).
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    For some context, they've been friends since they were kids. So they talk to each other pretty openly. (I started dating my bf last year and have known his friend for the same amount of time).
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    His friend was telling my bf that he's lucky to have me and that I'm a real catch. He even said that I have many admirable qualities and jokingly asked my bf how he managed to bag me.
  • 07
    My bf in a very serious tone said that he's the catch in the relationship and that I'm always trying to please him. He said "with pretty girls you have to make sure she's insecure. When they're confident it's not gonna work". Then he explained that I don't realise how "objectively attractive" I am due to my "raging
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    insecurities about every little detail". I was left speechless and deeply shocked. His friend was quiet and then said "that's up". My bf laughed and kept saying they both know it's true and to quit virtue signalling.
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    At the end his friend said that if I'm insecure I do a great job hiding it because he views me as confident and assertive. Bf laughed and said "nah bro she's so insecure it's crazy”. Then he grossly said that with insecure "hot chicks" is the best because they'll do anything to please you.
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    I didn't knock on the door. I didn't walk in. Later we went home and I didn't bring it up. I broke up with him. via text the next day. I explained why I made that decision.
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    Now, my friends think I'm crazy. for jumping to that decision so fast. They all said that I hit him with a breakup out of nowhere and didn't even give him a chance to explain himself & give context. I said that his words shattered my heart and no amount of context will salvage this.
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    The only people who don't think I'm an are my closest female friend & his best friend. They both feel bad for me and said I did the right thing. So am I the for doing what I did or is it justified?
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    • DaniCapsFan ⚫ 5d ago There's nothing to explain, is there? And what "context"? He likes making you insecure so you'll stick around. He doesn't love you; if he did he wouldn't be playing mind games. If he loved you, he wouldn't want you to be insecure.
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    And that's what you should say to people: "He doesn't love me. I'm just a trophy to him." NTA
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    Alarmed_Lynx_7148 • 5d ago Context? The thing is, you were able to get a raw idea of what your ex thought of you. No filters, no untruths, nothing. He's so comfortable with his friend, that this was allowed to happen. You don't owe him 1. Even his friend thought
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    what he was saying was up. Ignore those friends, it isn't like it's them who had to hear their partner say such 1 up
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    NTA. Don't take him back. Find someone who lifts you up, not keep you down a peg to keep you pliable
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    Dependent-Groun... • 4d ago There's no context. As a man, men like him disgust me. You know how you 'keep' a hot girl? Make her feel safe, happy, and loved. What a pig.
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    zebrasmack 5d ago ΝΤΑ He admitted to intentionally manipulating you. Notice how it was all about him. his satisfaction, his desires. you dodged a bullet.
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    maybe one day he'll grow out of being a manipulative maybe not. but that ain't your problem anymore.
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    LBNorris219 • 5d ago NTA. I'm such a petty but I would have broken up with him with only the explanation of, "Because I can do better... and you're awful in bed."
  • 22
    Ba8yJaii 5d ago You're (presumably) choosing your children's father. You're choosing the man that could have to look after you when you're sick, be faithful to you in hard times and to tell you you're still as beautiful as ever when you're 80 years old.
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    • daylily61 5d ago You were ENTIRELY justified to break up with this guy. COMPLETELY, 100% justified.
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    I am astounded that your "friends" are criticising you. You DIDN'T "break up with him out of nowhere." What came "out of nowhere" was the shock and heartache of suddenly learning that jerk's real feelings toward you, and in circumstances in which you had no reason to
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    think he didn't mean what he said to his friend. Your two friends who said you did the right thing in dumping this guy are correct. Honey, I know you're hurting right now, but believe me when I say, you had a lucky escape.

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