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As we always say: it is not you who chooses the cat but the cat who chooses you. Or five cats in this case. You cannot put the blame on your wife, sir. It is the Cat Distribution System that has allocated these five kittens into your care. And you may complain about it now, but you will grow to love it. They all do.
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The way that cats defy the laws of gravity truly is astonishing to us sometimes. How the heck did this cat manage to do this. Where is it gripping? What is it holding? An exorcism seems like the only solution. But it won't work. Because the cat is not possessed by a demon. The cat is a demon, and you let it into your home and your heart for the rest of your life.
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